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35 Pebbles of Trivia to Stack Into a Braincairn

By:: Cracked Writers; Jay L'Ecuyer

March 18, 2024

35 Pebbles of Trivia to Stack Into a Braincairn

All this time, whenever we heard rappers going off about their “fat stacks,” we honestly thought they meant their rock cairns. We just kept thinking, “Wow, that’s a pretty specific, lesser-known reference. But nothing stacks quite like rocks in a cairn, so we get it!” When we found out that they meant cash (or casino chips), we thought, “Yeah, that makes more sense.”

Well, if they won’t represent for the cairns, then by golly we will! Here are a whole bunch of wisdom pebbles for that braincairn of yours…

Click right here to get the best of Cracked sent to your inbox.

35

CRACKED CHECKMATE, LIBS! Tennessee State Rep. William Lamberth (R) asked protesters concerned about gun violence which gun they would feel okay being shot with, saying, If there is a firearm out there that you're comfortable being shot with, please show me which one it is. — Source

34

CRACKED FLORIDA TEACHER FIRED FOR HAVING STUDENTS WRITE THEIR OWN OBITUARIES. A teacher in Florida got let go after they made their students write their own obituaries on the same day they were doing a practice for an active shooter situation. Talk about not reading the room. PS HIGH SCHOOL — Source

33

CRACKED NEW WORLD RECORD FOR CHUGGING A CAPRI SUN. On April 13th, 2023, Andre Ortolf smashed the Guinness World Record for chugging a Capri Sun pouch in 10.41 seconds - way faster than Leah Shutkever's 15.71 seconds record set in 2021. We live in an amazing civilization indeed. — Source

32

CRACKED THE WAGNER GROUP TRIED TO RECRUIT THROUGH PORNHUB. Pornhub got rid of ads from the Wagner Group, a Russian mercenary group, after they tried to get people to join the war that the Kremlin is fighting against Ukraine. Porn hub : LIVE CAMS СБЛЯ ТУТ MAKE A BET BRAZZERS HD UVE LIVE LIVE Посетите рекламодателя Пропустить рекламу Ad-00-05 Реальный секс с первым парнем — Source

31

CRACKED NEW YORK CITY'S RAT PROBLEM IS so BAD THEY HAD TO HIRE A RAT CZAR. New York City has hired its first-ever rat czar to help deal with the increasing number of rats in the city. This has become a major problem that affects the quality of life and health of people living there. HEARFROMERIC.COM — Source

30

CRACKED SCIENTISTS HAVE FIGURED OUT HOW TO MAKE SEX BETTER... WITH MATH! The scientists at the University of Sussex have come up with a mathematical equation that could help people have better sex and make it more likely that they'll reach orgasm. How sexy. SKOLNICK — Source

29

CRACKED WWE APOLOGIZES FOR TASTELESS AUSCHWITZ AD. The WWE said sorry for using a picture of Auschwitz in an ad for a wrestling match between Dominik and Rey Mysterio. On one hand, it's the WWE, so you have to adjust your expectations... on the other hand, it's Auschwitz. 87.9K views K — Source

28

CRACKED POPE FRANCIS SAYS THE CHURCH'S VIEWS ON SEX ARE STILL STUCK IN THE DARK AGES. Pope Francis has said that using dating apps like Tinder is totally normal and that the Catholic Church's views on sex are outdated. — Source

27

CRACKED SUPREME JUSTICE THOMAS: VACATIONING WITH THE RICH AND ACQUITTING THE GUILTY. Clarence Thomas voted with everyone else on the Supreme Court to clear a former Virginia governor of bribery charges in 2016. At the same time, it turns out that Thomas was being given fancy vacations by a major Republican donor. — Source

26

CRACKED SENATORS IN NORTH DAKOTA: FEEDING THEMSELVES, NOT KIDS. The senators in North Dakota voted to give themselves more money for meals, but said no to a bill that would have given free lunches to kids from low-income families in elementary and high school. — Source

25

Ariana Grande accidentally tattooed small charcoal grill on her hand. That's not exactly what she was going for with her Japanese tattoo, but fans pointed out that's what it meant - to her credit, she acknowledged it. CRACKED.COM — Source

24

The all-American icon Harley Davidson actually ... isn't made in the USA. That is, many of its parts are from abroad - suspension components come from Japan, brake parts from Italy, wheels from Australia, and so on. CRACKED.COM — Source

23

An alligator's brain is absolutely tiny - it would fit in half of one tablespoon. It weighs a total of 8 or 9 grams, i.e. not much more than the usual contents of a tablespoon - which kind of explains a lot about gators. CRACKED.COM — Source

22

In Texas, you can learn all about Texas barbecue in an actual college class. The class is offered by Texas A&M, and it's called ANSC 117, Texas Barbecue. It covers everything from food safety to cooking whole pigs. CRACKED.COM — Source

21

If honey has always seemed incredibly indestructible to you, you were basically right. HONEY Raspberry 16 oz. 98232 575 Radyard laz. R from Edison Rees Wa 98232 If it's preserved right, it almost can't spoil - pots of honey found in ancient Egyptian tombs are still A-OK to eat after thousands of years. CRACKED.COM — Source

20

There's only one mammal that's completely covered by scales: the pangolin. They use those scales to instantly go into what's basically fortress mode - if a threat appears, they curl up into a tight, scaly, well-armored ball. CRACKED.COM — Source

19

In Japan, there are actual companies that can help you set up a new life. Yeah, kinda similar to the one in Breaking Bad, apparently - it's a thing, and there's even a word for people who want to escape: jouhatsu. CRACKED.COM — Source

18

Baby axolotls chew off each other's arms when there's not enough food around. Which sounds awful, but it's not really that bad-they can fully regrow their arm in a few months, so it's a mild inconvenience to help a bro or sis. CRACKED.COM — Source

17

In the Philippines, there's a tattoo artist who's 102 and, amazingly, still working. Whang-Od Oggay is a mambabatok, or traditional tattooist of the Kalinga province, and she's the oldest one who's currently active. CRACKED.COM — Source

16

Japan nearly dropped plague-infested fleas on Southern California in WWII. It was going to be revenge for the US firebombing their cities, and was supposed to involve planes launching from submarines to drop the fleas. CRACKED.COM — Source

15

The Shining and The Empire Strikes Back were shot in the same studio. They were shot at the same time, too - and when The Shining had to stop using a stage after a fire, it borrowed a new one from Empire. CRACKED.COM — Source

14

A Scanner Darkly was basically inspired by Philip K Dick's strange life. For a year or so, he had pretty much the same life as the lead, Bob Arctor, including the hallucinations, weird paranoias, and wandering conversations. CRACKED.COM — Source

13

There's a subtle Cars Easter egg that references Ferrari's factory in Italy. CHE 44.5-10.8 - Luigi's license plate isn't a random string of the numbers - it says 445-108, and those are the geographic coordinates of that factory. CRACKED.COM — Source

12

WEIRD WORLD In Texas, a woman tried to purchase a child at a Walmart store. Apparently, the woman offered $250,000 for another shopper's child. Eventually, she got arrested and charged with the third-degree felony of the sale or purchase of a child. CRACKED.COM — Source

11

WEIRD WORLD A boy selling air fresheners in the UK got investigated by police. 9-year-old Donnan from the Greater Manchester area sold them for pocket money - which would have been fine, but for some reason, somebody from his school complained to the police. CRACKED.COM — Source

10

WEIRD WORLD FedEx sees the need for anti-missile lasers on its cargo jets. FedEx Express They want to put a missile defense system that directs infrared laser energy toward an incoming missile, in an effort to interrupt the missile's tracking of the aircraft's heat. CRACKED.COM — Source

9

WEIRD WORLD After somehow being donated to a thrift store, a cat found its way back. When they were moving out, a Denver family donated a recliner to a thrift store, not realizing their cat was hiding inside. Thankfully, the cat was discovered at the store and reunited with the family. CRACKED.COM — Source

8

WEIRD WORLD One COVID patient hid Ivermectin in a stuffed animal in a hospital, it turns out. Staff at the Windsor, Ontario hospital found the ivermectin behind a slit in the stuffed animal (belonging to an adult patient, as it happens). CRACKED.COM — Source

7

WEIRD WORLD One British mom found her morning cereal full of crystal meth. Just before she tried to give the cereal to her kids, she saw that there was a small plastic pouch with white crystals in the box - and it turned out to be, уер, meth. CRACKED.COM — Source

6

WEIRD WORLD McDonald's tried to build a drive-thru at an ancient Roman monument. The monument was the Baths of Caracalla in Rome, a heritage site, and the authorities (mercifully) refused permission. CRACKED.COM — Source

5

WEIRD WORLD In Louisiana, they arrested a guy for fraudulently getting his diaper changed. Specifically, he posed as a special needs person, and conned someone into changing his diaper - so he got arrested for it, and this was the second time it happened. CRACKED.COM — Source

4

WEIRD WORLD In New Hampshire, two brothers have been taking re-gifting to a new level. CITRON MADAGASCAR QUATRES EPICES BRÉSIL THYN EQUATEUR ORANGE CABOSSE THE EARL GREY THYM ORANGE VENEZUELA There's a single box of candy that they've been re-gifting each other for the last 34 years, for Christmas. CRACKED.GOM — Source

3

WEIRD WORLD El Salvador is going to get a volcano-powered Bitcoin City, apparently. The country's president promised at a gathering of bitcoin enthusiasts, which really speaks for itself. CRACKED.COM — Source

2

WEIRD WORLD An African tortoise walking down a Pennsylvania road led to 911 calls. Apparently, people were afraid the large turtle moving right down the middle of the road could be a snapping turtle. CRACKED.COM — Source

1

WEIRD WORLD A superintendent of the New York's MTA drives around with a blow-up doll. Specifically, he keeps it in the front seat -he says it's just to keep him company, but apparently it's a way to get around a specific law. CRACKED.COM — Source

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