22 of the Funniest Tweets from Friday, March 8, 2024

Slow down, lesbiabs!
22 of the Funniest Tweets from Friday, March 8, 2024

If you assumed that Charles Melton and Da’Vine Joy Randolph were the breakout stars of awards season, you’d be very wrong. That distinguished honor belongs to Messi, the scene-stealing Border Collie from Justine Triet’s Anatomy of a Fall. The Palme d’Or-winning pup made an appearance at this year’s Oscar Nominees Luncheon, where he wagged tails with the likes of Ryan Gosling and Billie Eilish, but that face time was seemingly one-and-done. Messi will not be making an appearance at this Sunday’s Oscars ceremony, as The Hollywood Reporter shared that multiple nominated production companies filed grievances with the Academy, citing that allowing the dog (who is technically not a nominee) to the event gave Triet’s legal thriller four legs up on the competition. All dogs may go to heaven, but they don’t all get to attend the Oscars.

While funnyman Jimmy Kimmel continues his prep for hosting the big night, a film about a historic night for other famous funny people added a few more faces to its cast. Jason Reitman’s SNL 1975, which will bring audiences into the studio for the chaotic events that led to the very first episode of Saturday Night Live, found its Jim Henson, Michael O’Donoghue and Billy Crystal. The trio will be played by Nicholas Braun, Tommy Dewey and Nicholas Podany respectively, and they join a cast stocked with rising stars like Dylan O’Brien (as Dan Aykroyd) and Rachel Sennott (as Rosie Shuster). Sony Pictures has yet to set a release date for the film, so word is still out on when audiences will hear that now iconic phrase “Live from New York, it’s Saturday night!” on the big screen — as opposed to just the little screen. 

Until then, it’s Friday afternoon on the timeline, and we’ve got a whole new batch of hilarious tweets. Today’s funniest ones include those about the tiny beauty of role-playing as ants, Albania’s best-known exports and the cost of living with your parents.

place where cat shouldn't be 7h ... tringles Divorcio. 38 2,912 42.7K 818K
home of lesbians @thelesbian... 21h ... TOP DEFINITION lesbiab A lesbian who types too fast. 178 6,721 53.1K 1M
eliza @elizamclamb.14h Sometimes carrying a big ass bag with everything in it is so embarrassing like girl why do I have the moleskine on me at the club 5 381 5,193 119K
@comradeazula.22h ... in bed. straight up resting it. and by it haha, well, lets just say. my mind and body 3 1,155 5,725 68.4K
Asia @AsiaDNYC 23h My husband thinks he knows how to argue with me because he is a lawyer but what he fails to account for is the fact that I am insane and cannot be reasoned with 17 59 771 16.8K
RK Jackson I Atlanta @thee... . 1d ... my cat just walks up to me, says what I can only believe to be a slur & just saunters away. 50 7,368 79.2K del 2M
kat @kitkatstx.21h ... Why drive 6 minutes for food when I can order doordash for $93 29 1,262 9,237 377K
m @sus2chainz 1d i'm in this fb group where everyone pretends to be ants n ppl just post pics of food and everyone comments LIFT 235 3,427 57.6K del 1.6M
james @jms_tny . 16h today my coworker told me he immigrated from albania and i said oh yes dua lipa... the mob and he said yes that's right 4 40 1,099 47K
grim @TIDDIES 23h ... you ever get so pissed at work that you start reading your state's labor laws 59 3,743 36.7K del 783K
Archbishop Murphy @JuliusIr... 18h ... why would you pay $2000 dollars a month in rent when you could simply live with your parents and the only cost to you would be Daily Emotional Warfare? 59 4,687 40.8K del 1M
pinball wizard @y0ungpinball 1d ... schizophrenic woman outside of 7/11 just told me she's gonna cast a spell and turn me into oatmeal if I don't give her $5 111 1,513 24.5K del 553K
bigsock @biggersocks. 17h ... me off the edible 10 2,727 21.8K 485K
mayor saxobeat 5'2 @ARSO.... 20h ... my job has made me functionally autistic i just googled appropriate email response to have a nice day and multiple links were purple 3 109 4,308 78.5K
Discount Emma Stone @... ..3h ... Neither- the Baja blast style a a a a a a a ٢٢٨٣٧ alamy a ITADY a alamy Advil alamy a Advil Advil a a a Advil alamy a a TAD alamy a a a a a Keifer @DannyVegito.1 17h do you guys prefer your ibuprofen hot dog or SALUE SIZE - MAJOR Walgreens Ibuprofen - Ibuprofen hamburger style? 1000 COATED 500 - TABLETS 13 922 11.1K 396K
annabelle 3: @oomfabelle. 14h We all have that one friend that is constantly committing HIPAA violations 6 373 4,979 222K
PERSONAL sreekar @sreekyshooter• 3h happy international women's day Kevin Durant @KDTrey5-8/28/14 ... Hold up, do women really take out the bottom 2 ribs so that they can have a skinny waist? Please tell me this is bullsh*t.. 456 2.2K 3.7K Kaylana Reese @KaylanaReese-8/29/44 @KDTrey5 it's for real 1 59 114 Kevin Durant @KDTrey5 @KaylanaReese I'm gonna go outside and light myself on fire. What are we doing to our beautiful queens 12:12 AM - 8/29/14 From Earth 4K Reposts 545 Quotes 7K Likes 856 Bookmarks 33 6,424 46.1K 1.2M
1984's George Whorewell @E... 17h ... this is how it feels to take an edible and sit on the sofa with your cat 31 4,660 49.4K 1.3M
Piercey @https_piercey 1d ... Saw this tweet on my lunch break, came back to my desk and my colleague was eating at his desk. Dropped it in seamlessly, team creasing, nicely done. Ta Mike Mike Townsend @townsen... . 1d Boss just referred to having lunch at your desk at work as al desko lol. Love all that. 243 10.4K 316K
Sally sparrow @sillytistic 16h Не looks like he's in bobs burgers 18 311 6,832 93K
mark normand @marknorm 1d ... But think about how many ppl it produces Fact @Fact1 1d Alcohol kills 2.5M people per year. 609 10.5K 103K 9.6M
Bird Eckler @Birdeckler•19h I think the main reason I will never join a cult is probably all the mandatory meetings. 115 2,295 11.3K 311K


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