27 of the Funniest Tweets from Tuesday, March 5, 2024

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27 of the Funniest Tweets from Tuesday, March 5, 2024

Class is almost back in session. Joel McHale has essentially confirmed Donald Glover’s recent comments: The Community movie script is done. The Animal Control actor told Deadline that he’s “all but certain” the film will shoot this year. The biggest lingering issue keeping the Greendale Community College gang from reuniting is Glover’s schedule, which Peacock is said to be working around. McHale hasn’t read the script yet, but Glover has said that the streaming movie will be Danny Pudi’s “magnum opus.” 

It’s also looking like Fridays will be getting freaky again. Lindsay Lohan confirmed that the highly-anticipated Freaky Friday sequel is “in the process” during an appearance on SiriusXM’s Andy Cohen Live. The Irish Wish actress also told PEOPLE that she’s excited to reunite with Jamie Lee Curtis, who she talks to “almost every other day.” Lohan’s comments are the most recent updates after Curtis spent much of last year campaigning for a sequel as she celebrated the movie’s 20th anniversary. 

While we eagerly await these cinematic reunions, the timeline is ready to shower us with comedic gold. Today’s funniest tweets include those about the confounding duality of Trader Joe’s, the fright of opening up biscuits and the unlikely connection between Céline Dion and Old MacDonald.

no context memes @weird... 12h ... r/inflation + JOIN 41d Inflation fetish Im 12 and i have a inflation fetish... I want to she inflation video i found i youtube 7 3 Share BEST COMMENTS 39d wrong r/ man ... Reply 4 4d This sub is about economic inflation ... Reply Vote 434 7,246 166K 9.4M
A knockout @caslee_x· 5h ... My friend said she's not okay and I offered to pray for her and this was the response? Must I pray for you? 14:43 No you'll make it worse, you have too many sins 14:44 427 2,347 9,441 436K
i like food @messedupfoods.4h ... Vegetarian shrimp 28 555 9,287 134K
youngmi mayer @ymmayer 1d ... you know being royal isn't a real job cuz 4 people can just stop working and nothing happens. if 4 people stopped working at the mcdonald's drive thru that shit would go up in flames Henry VIII @SussexHenryV...2 2d Camilla is now taking a break. Which mean out of the four most senior royals, none are working full time. What is going on? 36 6,220 56.1K 1.5M
Jesse @JesseBlackSci - 1d Years ago I worked with a guy who watched a lot of Jordan Peterson, Ben Shapiro etc and one day we were chatting and I was like my eating schedule is weird, I usually don't eat lunch but eat a huge dinner at like 8pm And he said ah, the warrior's diet. 21 323 21.6K del 492K
Tina Sieben @wnbawife 15h ... Why does a can of biscuits open like that. Is life not scary enough 13 2,369 17.6K 498K
Papi Chulo #FREEC... 16h ... Trader Joe's has everything and nothing at the same time. It's hard to describe 373 9,913 76.2K del 3.3M
thomas violence @thomas_vio... 15h ... (trying to indicate to my partner that i would like another beer if theyre getting up, but using only skills i learned from point and click adventure games) wow, i could really go a beer right now. maybe some beer would help in this situation. think there's some beer over there 30 907 10.7K del 317K
chris @boredcnt . 22h ... Gale Weathers being brought out of retirement in Scream 12 after Ghostface targets the big brother house IMAZON 31 554 4.6K 211K
@vogist . 1 1d my love language is the same as a crow. if you're nice to me i'll bring you useless little trinkets from my travels that made me think of you 32 7.9K 30K 798K
AARON ! rhymes with the hermit of mink hollow @ab... 19h ... POUEDODYY BIEN N В IO 8 199 1.5K 52K
Joeyoncé Thee Stallion @itsjoebro_. 1d Why whenever yall asked what yall doing during the Purge yall resort to murder? I am committing FRAUD 574 8.7K 71K 4M
Ethan (any pronoun) @EthanOfArgoCity- 14h ... I GOT THE FUNNIEST GLITCH ON PEACOCK LMAO DREAMWORKS MEGAMIND vs THE DOOM SYNDICATE peacock ORIGINAL Kids - 1h 25m-2024 When Megamind's former villain team returns, he must assemble his friends to protect Metro City. Peacock Picks peacock ORIGINAL + Selona Amplifying MEGAMIND Women's THE DOOM SYNDICATE Yolonda 9 Voices DEAL NO DEAL ISLAND 12 COLLECTION NEW EPISODES TUESDAYS P Live & Upcoming adidas LIVE LIVE HUIC HSBC 92 5.4K 74K 1.3M
Francis Ngannou @francis_ngannou.5h TTR Kim Kardashian @KimKardashian 2 22h miss u 2K 24K 14M 215K
cosmo brown irl @barbieheimer. 1d kendall, roman and shiv: we need to work together to save the company from dad tom and greg side plot: NOTHING EVER HELD YOU LIKE ALFRED HITCHCOCK'S ROPE STARRING JAMES STEWART IN COLOR BY JOHN DALL FARLEY GRANGER SIR CEDRIC HARDWICKE TECHNICOLOR CONSTANCE COLLIER JOAN CHANDLER Screen Play The Arthur Laurents From the Play By Patrick Hamilton NB Director of Photography Presented by Joseph A S C WARNER BROS TDANSATI ANTIN DICTUDES 11 146 825 del 21K
Adam Tyler @adamtyIer . 1d 10 year-olds gonna see this and be like OMG CRUELLAAAAAA and their lives will change forever Phil Edwards @Live_for_Films . 1 1d Poor Things hits Disney+ on 7th March POOR THINGS Parental Control Advised March 7 Disney+ 2024 Searchlight Pictures All Rights Reserved Subscription required 18+ 6K 96K 131 3.7M
vctr @vctrlopz. 18h My manager was showing me a work email on his phone and a grindr notification popped up ... From Retro Physical 8 128 2K 39K
mariana @pastapilled 1d r/offmychest It's 2 am and I just split olive oil on my bed. Nowhere else to sleep с Share 906 183 + BEST COMMENTS Hedgewizard1958 . 17h Why did you have olive oil in bed? ... Reply 726 + OGbudsandtha ОР 16h S 1 Award was making bruschetta 881 + 58 3.9K 84K 2M
skanks @skanks17 . 20h Fiona's first sleepover at Shrek's swamp 2000s @PopCulture2000s-20h this was attempted murder 0:04 84 2.2K 43K 6.1M
Tyrone @TheTyronePalmer.2h ... That's unrealistic! I scream as I begin my quest to win a tenth consecutive World Series with the Chicago White Sox SN The Sporting News @sportingnews - 5 5h MLB The Show announced a new game mode in Road to the Show called Women Pave Their Way. For the first time ever, players can create and play as a female player @MLBTheShow SP 120 PAIDRIES H M M SHOW 1014 PLAYERS TRUST AN FRANCISCI S P - - Lapps BJ PIR - 15 317 5.3K 216K
Karli Marulli @karlimarulli - 1d 2 halves of a soft boiled egg floating in the rich bone broth of a tonkotsu ramen 190 2.9K 82K
afro-arakkii leo says RESIST @arakko... 21h ... gay people ain't make the list? we fell off omg US @_wulad . 1d these ppl on my school campus are so funny cuz what did sad boys do ???? JESUS REPENT OR DEADBEATS CATHOLICS SAD BOYS JEWS FEMINST BITCHES HINDUS HELLFIRE HERETICS MORMONS - - PRO-VAXXERS FREEMASONS KeyofDavidCC.com FEMINISTS SUPPORT Ra PEDOPHILES Astorbutory Parent Organic JESUS OF HELLEIRE and Sand be 17 289 2.4K 68K
megan @chismosavirus 18h ... when the iced coffee starts tasting like i need an almond croissant to go along with it 52 3,851 27.9K 886K
wuf @bong_rot.22h ... When a frog eats a bug in a documentary about frogs vs when a frog eats a bug in a documentary about bugs 144 11.8K 191K 3.7M
It's Keaton! @EvilKeaton 19h ... I truly love how The George Lopez Show did flashbacks. An incredible effect. 256 12.2K 169K del 7.7M
LIVE so Smatthew @savebabybuster 2 22h THAT IF YOUR LIFE MAS A BOOK FLORIDA WOULD My wife just incorrectly used the term BAN IT mansplaining and I don't know what to do. 635 1,291 16.5K 495K
Fran @whingewine- 5h Fun fact: If Celine Dion sang only the vowels in her name, it would be in the lyrics to Old McDonalds Farm. 114 4,412 36.1K du 1.4M


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