26 of the Funniest Tweets from Thursday, February 29, 2024

Today is NOT REAL
26 of the Funniest Tweets from Thursday, February 29, 2024

A cold case is getting warm, and there’s only one detective who can crack it: Lt. Frank Drebin. After years in development hell, the Naked Gun reboot is finally taking flight. Paramount announced a slate of upcoming release dates with its eyes set on July 2025 for the long-gestating Naked Gun project. Lonely Island’s Akiva Schaffer serves as co-writer and director, while Seth MacFarlane is producing. The Family Guy creator was able to convince action star Liam Neeson to hop on board after their work together on Ted 2 and A Million Ways to Die in the West. Here’s hoping the new chapter of Naked Gun will be better than a spoonful of Drano

If you can’t wait until 2025 for a remake, Jermaine Fowler, Nicole Richie and June Squibb are here for ya. The trio is part of an ensemble cast reviving Don’t Tell Mom the Babysitter’s Dead. The remake of the ‘90s cult classic will hit theaters in April with a script by Ted Lasso writer Church Hayward and model-turned-reality-TV-tyrant Tyra Banks serving as executive producer. According to the teaser trailer, the film will follow the original’s story, but with a facelift for a 21st century audience.  

The timeline, on the other hand, remains wholly original. Today’s funniest tweets include those about a mother’s latest infatuation, the things you learn about your friends on LinkedIn and the price it costs to leave the house. 

Lucy @LucyXIV-15h you guys ever noticed that leaving the house costs 40 dollars now 79 1,856 23K 733K
@brutapologist.bsky.social 23h ... Ryan @ryanposting 1d Based on the amount of pottery fragments alone, the Roman Empire may be the clumsiest empire history has ever known. 112 17.2K 172K 4.1M
Shane Clifford @brilliantshane. 1d ... Isn't it funny when you're a young child you think your parents know everything and then when you get to be their age you realise they had no idea what they were doing. I was scared of my dad when I was 5 but now I realise he was just 24. I should have told him shut the fuck up 190 11K 109K 3.3M
No Context Brits @NoCont... 10h ... HW ... @hw1905 yeah I remember bowling against this fella on wii sports ESSEX @DailyESSEX #Essex: Police release efit of man wanted in connection to robbery j.mp/2loTWDq 52 496 14.7K 562K
abrish @cxrnerrstone.10h february 29 isnt even a real date btw so anything you do today doesnt count. stay tuned for more life hacks 107 18.8K 76.3K 2.3M
Dr. Frizzle @Swilua 21h the onion is perfect Guy Who Sucks At Being A Person Sees Huge Potential In AI Published Thursday 7:13AM Alerts f 8 ALT 40 8,208 76K del 1.1M
Sdudla Mafehlefeezy @lulu... 7h ... My ex usually starts by depositing money into my account like he's reactivating a subscription. gand4gand4 @zulucapita... 12h Hypothetically speaking how do you start talking to someone you ghosted 256 3,168 16.6K del 1.1M
timothy faust @crulge 15h ... DEVO if John Cena comes to your hospital room, the doctors do not have good news. In this way he is like the Angel of Death for 8-year-olds John Cena Sets Guinness Book Record for Make-A-Wish Foundation Grants 10 78 1,267 45.8K
Kayla Chow Show @KaylaC... 15h ... People born in 1994 are turning 50 this year. Let that sink in. 794 1,870 6,743 562K
Seaux Leaux @PHaithfulGe... 11h ... nobody: me in the gym observing someone use a machine I been curious about how to use 51 5,487 27.6K 666K
dull as the heart of an unbaked brioche @merr... 18h ... Mom now M Do you know what my new infatuation is? Celery! I just can't get enough of it. 12 145 2.5K 73K
kamo @kamogelx 1d A proactive, determined and driven individual GIF ALT Т.К @FCLKT 1d Stumbling upon your friends' linkedin will always be funny never knew you stood on business like that my G 69 5.2K 30K 1.6M
Katze e @starrdoer 1d ... is this george harrison 15 543 4.1K 62K
jen ramos eisen @jenmacramos.2 23h Dade Chilling Park Editor: You get those dairy logos for the mockup? Designer: Sure did boss, real fuckin sexy just like you asked. Editor: what OTERROS Danville Otterbots @GoOtterbots.23h So... what is a Dairy Daddy? Meet McCreamy! The undeniable mascot of the @DairyDaddies #LegenDairy DANVILLE DaIRY DaDDIeS TM TM 5 50 427 43K
ID campbell g @rodeoman 1d ... me and the boys on our way to find out who disrespected rebecca ferguson 65 3.1K 38K 1.2M
Ross McCafferty @RossMcCaff· 19h The boy playing The Unknown at the Glasgow Willy Wonka Experience before the show started FXON hulu I'm going for gasps. 29 1.4K 28K 844K
FOST @GeorgeFoster72. 1d Finally seen her doing something that I do. I'm surprised she didn't raise the chicken and slaughter it in the video. Finy @whereisbugs 1d I want some hot wings CC 293 9.7K 123K 5.4M
Janel Comeau @VeryBadLlama 12h it is 1424. we live in hovels and discuss the fate of the princess. meat is too expensive. it is 1724. we live in hovels and discuss the fate of the princess. meat is too expensive. it is 2024. we live in hovels and discuss the fate of the princess. meat is too expensive. 31 3.4K 24K 559K
Brandy Jensen @BrandyLJensen - 1 16h maybe she has a bad vibe Page Six Page Six @PageSix1 18h Bradley Cooper didn't feel connected to daughter Lea at first: 'I don't even know if I really love the kid' trib.al/ FATcUjO MA 14 63K 21 1K
Brizz-Chan (Mr drive) @billybrizzle420.1 18h , Whole day I'm: fucking busy only get few money 19 280K 1.5K 15K
SCAM GODDESS @DivaLaci 12h ... Who knew that having 5 fingers would be our best weapon against AI. 5 104 988 22K
Reet the Naysayer @theNFLc... 16h ... And i have to live on the same earth as these people..... Make it make cents. NEW YORK New York Post POST @nypost. 17h Weightlifter ate 39 coins, 37 magnets because he thought 'zinc helps in bodybuilding': report trib.al/ PdQNQre R 14-Feb-24 99 3,313 21.9K 978K
¡Scoob! @Scoobydouchebag 19h ... This is why it's so important that we fight to keep physical media from disappearing MICHAELJACKSON BATS INXS KICK 87 8,039 82.5K 1.3M
Noah Garfinkel @NoahGarfink... 14h ... - ON STRIKE Just like in general? CONGRATS MARK RUFFALO 323 465-4446 Stella Adler THEATRE 24 403 16.5K 432K
youngmi mayer @ymmayer.2 21h ... everyone's speculating on why kate middleton and king charles are out of the public eye i think the answer is obvious ..they got freaky fridayed 50 3,457 41.3K 1.3M
guy @guymrdth - 1d ... I do sincerely believe olivia colman could deliver this line in a way that would make me cry FSN Fake Showbiz News @Fa... 1d Olivia Colman admits she felt a bit disappointed when she set up her new iPhone and it had carried all her old apps across. I was kind of looking forward to a fresh start, she sighed 50 4,902 98.1K del 3.2M


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