30 Funny Stories From Men’s Locker Rooms That Didn’t Stay in the Locker Room

‘Everyone started to do the can-can’
30 Funny Stories From Men’s Locker Rooms That Didn’t Stay in the Locker Room

Dudes rock, and there’s no place this is more evident than in the men’s locker room. It’s a sanctuary where they can fully let loose and do what they want — even if what they want is to make one guy stand against the wall while everyone else throws their shoes at him. But before you finger wag and call this “bullying,” please know that each of the guys had their day to get pelted with sneakers, too, so it was a truly impartial practice. 

Reddit’s best bros have chimed in about the funniest things they’ve gotten up to behind locker-room doors, and it’s quite literally the naked truth.

Gmonts . 8y 60 plus year old man standing stark naked one foot on the bench offering me a slice of quartered oranges from a Tupperware dish, III pass thanks ... 14
SwgglyArmJonson 4y Someone stole someones shoe then threw it THROUGH the ceiling Left a fucking hole ... 1.4k
 . 4y My teammates and I poured shampoo on the tiles and had a contest to see who could belly side the farthest ... 2.7k
giantsfootball1 . . 6y Kid covered in a full bottle of conditioner, squirming around on the floor screeching like gollum. Cross country kids are weird. ... 6
KidLink4 . 4y Once we convinced a kid he was only supposed to have one testicle. Не went to the school nurse crying and we all got in trouble...
BigChegger . 4y after every P.E lesson someone would stand against the shower wall and everyone else would throw their shoes at them it went through the register who would stand against the wall, don't remember how it started but it went on from year 8 through to year 11 ... 1.8k
 7y The only crazy thing I came across in a locker room was during high school when a couple of guys were doing a drug deal. One was telling the other that it's legal as long as they do it on school grounds because the school will be held responsible instead of either of them.
40V JubalKhan . 6y Two short bodybuilders showering while watching at one another and grunting like hogs ... I still don't know what to think about that. ... 3
innitgrand . . 8y The guy behind me was pulling down his pants just as I was. We had a moonlanding. ... 28
 . 4y A guy in our high school took one of those windup disposable cameras, removed the flash attached two spikes to the electrical ports ans started stabbing and tazing people in the locker room. ... 4.9k
kryantastic . . 4y One of the guys on my track team in high school got towel whipped so hard directly on the nipple that it split open and had to be sewn back together. ... 74
mystical_beard . . 6y After i was done working out, made my way back to the locker room to shower and leave but there was this guy, hairy as chewbacca, naked and all, applying lotion on his body. I was like fine, what ever hes taking care of his skin, until i turn around and sees him rubbing lotion between his butt cheeks. I mean, why the fuck would you do this in public. ... 20
mrsheikh . 8y I was at a YMCA post swimming session. There was this guy in the shower fingering his asshole...like DEEP! I cringed when I saw this and he saw me. Says to me Have to clean the anus you know. ... 12
Thomas500ml . 4y There was a cabbage in there randomly, so people started kicking it around ... 740
voter1126 . 4y Letting out the loudest, longest, nastiest, melt the paint off the walls fart and getting compliments and asking what the hell you ate so the others could try to recreate it. ... 2k
 . 4y Me and the boys had a funeral for a dead cockroach we found. ... 99
reigningdefending . 6y An older guy got dressed t-shirt and shoes first the other day in my gym. Not really all that weird but the first thing I do is stick some boxers on so I'm not flopping about. ... 2
vogdswagon26 . 6y 2 naked old guys shaking hands for well over a minute. Neither of them was saying a word they were just shaking hands and staring at each other ... 5
keepshowinup . 10y I saw a guy with his foot up in the sink, blow drying the hair on his taint. I've never hated a stranger so much in my life. ... 9
Yourhandsaresosoft . 4y There was a whole thing at my school where there was a staph infection spread around the football team. On their testicles. Because they all decided to shave their pubes and share the razor. ... 364
Johionymous. 4y We all broke out in a group version of Call Me Maybe by Carly Rae Jepsen ... 5
markercore . 4y One time before cross country practice we were sitting in there, one guy has his shirt off and is playing with the safety pins used to affix the numbers for meets to the jerseys. he says something like i wonder what this would feel like. and proceeded to pierce his nipple with the safety pin, close it up and then ran practice like that. ... 584
Pencilowner 4y We had an electric razor and dared a guy to shave his head things escalated until someone took a chunk out of a different guys hair. Realizing as a group we had gone to far and a major injustice was committed we all shaved our heads. Like 30 guys all shaved there heads in solidarity. We did the same thing when a guy got pegged with a rock in the back and it left a major bruise. Everyone took a rock in the back. The next week we had a pool party at school and all the guys
Rust_Dawg . 4y We had electric hand dryers and Axe body spray. If you block the intake of the dryer, the heating elements get really hot because of the lack of airflow and start to glow bright orange. Then, if you take your hand away and immediately spray Axe into the intake, a massive ball of fire shoots out the exit of the dryer. The fireball is bigger if you spray more cans at once. ... 9.2k
02474 . 4y Someone dropped a world-record deuce (one single unbroken piece) and everyone kept running over to check it out. ... 253
WorkIncognitoWEEEE 4y Playing baseball in the showers...with a ping pong ball, and a very large penis. ... 1.1k
klopnyyt . 4y Had an all day sport assessment so every boy in my year was in the boy's locker room (good idea to start with). Between assessments we were told to just wait in there. 5 minutes passed and next thing we knew the teacher walked in on two guys lighting each other's pubes on fire and putting each other out by humping each other, whilst everyone watched. Not sure if the girls were doing that ahah. ... 4.4k
 . 4y Funniest guy in my high school - 6'4 & 300 lbs - would play Lynyrd Skynyrd on his guitar, butt-ass naked every day after gym in the locker rooms. Dude fucking owned every bit of him. Also, one time as he was getting out of the shower, he tripped over his towel and landed face-down on the floor. Remember this dude's size - big boy. Не hit the deck, and I swear, we almost all passed out from laughing. Especially this guy. Funniest shit I might have ever seen. Definitely made HS a lot less shitty. ... 10
 4y Everyone started to do the can can Edit: I guess I should explain why everyone was doing the can can. One kid asked three of his friends if they would do the can can for an instagram vid and soon everybody joined in ... 33
WaxFaster . 8y Buddy of mine dropped a PB&J out of his locker onto the lacrosse locker room floor. It opened and fell jelly / butter side down. Не called 5 second rule, picked up the pieces, put them back together, and ate it.. ... 9 PotatoQuie . 8y That's how you get Athlete's Mouth. ... 22

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