35 Moments Where Folks Couldn’t Quite Scale Mount Adulting

Grandma can’t pump gas
35 Moments Where Folks Couldn’t Quite Scale Mount Adulting

It’s impossible to know everything. However, once you reach a certain age, there are a few things you should definitely know — like how a fire alarm works. Fire alarms aren’t some kind of mysterious, ancient riddle. They’ve been a part of human life for a while now. So imagine one Redditor’s shock when she and her husband triggered the alarm while cooking, and her husband immediately put on his shoes and prepared to evacuate the premises to wait for firefighters to arrive. That’s not how it works, dude! 

Meanwhile, other Redditors have rattled off the times they’ve witnessed absolutely jaw-dropping adulthood fails, including a grandmother who made it to 88 without comprehending how to pump gas. 

montereyo . . 11y My mom can't remember whether blue or red is associated with hot or cold. When she's in the car and wants to turn on the AC, she just randomly sets the dial to one side or the other and waits for the air to come on to see whether she's right or not. ... 940
. 11y Well, in high school, I got my friend a job with me at the ice cream shoppe. She pushed the broom along - forward. Like, did not know how to gather the dust on the floor & sweep it up. I had to apologize to the owner. I had no idea there were people who could not use a broom. (No one ever swept the floor @ her house?)
fosterwallacejr . 11y I was a class acquaintance of a pretty popular girl in my grade, so one day sitting at the popular table, kind of a big deal for me as a nerdy guy with this girl, i i learned that she didnt know how to use a knife and cut up her lunch and her lacky friend kind of did it for her as her mom did when she was home. The fuck. We were like 14. ... 272
curlygirl86 11y Not my story, but my sisters. She was a residential advisor for first years in college. She smelled smoke in the common room and found that a girl had put a bowl with foil in the microwave and it was on fire. She put the fire out, the girl came out and said it was her food and she thought foil would make it heat faster in the microwave. ... 557 bob_newhart_of_dixie 11y well, technically... ... 1.4k
J_for_Jules . 11y My older sister didn't know that people can make fried chicken themselves at home. She thought it was some special thing that only restaurants made. She found out the truth when her mother-in-law made it one afternoon. We grew up in the South, too! ... 9
skankingrove 11y In high school, there was one time I was going to give a friend a ride home after a band practice or something since somebody hadn't come to pick him up and he said it was going to be a long while. Не told me which direction to start in, but as we continued driving it became clear that he actually didn't know where he lived. Не didn't know the address, or how to get there from the school he goes to every weekday. Не tried giving terrible directions like it's near the flashing yellow lights, during the
browayoflife . 11y When I was a junior in college, I had a roommate that didn't know how to use a can opener I tried to show him several times how it works and he would always get frustrated and shout just do it for me! ... 9
montereyo 11y I've met more than one person who doesn't get fire alarms. When my husband and I first got an apartment together, we were cooking and we burned something; the smoke caused the smoke alarm to start beeping. Instead of opening the window to let the smoke out (like a normal person), he calmly walked to the door and began putting on his shoes to go outside and wait for the fire department to come - because he thought that when the smoke alarm goes off, that's what you do. After all, why else would we have gone through all those
capcalhoon 11y My girlfriend in college didn't know how to boil water. I explained how easy it was (water goes into pot, pot goes on stove, turn on the stove) and she did it, then left the pot there for four hours waiting for the water to finish boiling. Of course all of the water evaporated, she completely burned the shit out of the pot, and then started to panic and cry because she didn't know how to turn the stove off. I am no longer with this girl. ... 2.1k
raging_asshole . 11y My grandmother is 88 years old. Drives a Ford Mustang. Does not know how to put gas in her car. Has literally driven cars for 70 years without ever once using a gas pump. She calls me every few weeks to go over there and follow her to the gas station, so I can pump for her. I don't have the heart to tell her that the employees will do it if she asks nicely, since it's one of the few occasions where I see her. ... 1.1k
eucalyptus . 11y My roommate last year had an interesting way of washing dishes... Instead of scrubbing, rinsing and drying dishes like a normal person, she would fill the sink with water, scrub the dishes with soap and put them on the counter (still covered in soap). Then she would wait for the soap to dry off, instead of rinsing them and leaving them to dry. She put the dishes away without ever rinsing them or drying them manually. We ate off dirty dishes all year. ... 9
BrianSnow . 11y My current roommate has no idea how to shop for groceries/manage the food he has already bought. Now, we live about a 3 minute walk from a pretty large grocery store, so food shopping is by no means inconvenient. His food is constantly rotting in the fridge; when he orders out he leaves the leftovers in the fridge until they have to be thrown away; he currently has 3 half-eaten bags of chips (same brand/style). Не probably ends up throwing away $100 worth of food every month. ... 167
throwsuperaway . 11y I dated a guy (he was 19) that did not know how to use a steak knife. Instead of sawing the meat, he attempted to force the knife through it by simply pushing down. I don't know if you don't know this, dude, but steak is not quite the same consistency as softened butter. Не kept shaking the entire table (we were in a restaurant) as he tried to force the knife into the meat. Eventually I stopped him, took his knife, and showed him how to saw the meat - his mind was completely blown. When I asked
geirrseach 11y Oh I am all over this one. I had an old roommate/ boyfriend who was very VERY sheltered when it came to basic life stuff. Here are some highlights: 1. Laundry. Had never done it. Ever. When he moved in, all his clothes were filthy because his parents hadn't visited in 6 months or so. And so nothing had been washed since then. Had to show him how a washer/ dryer worked. 2. Cooking. Could only use a microwave. Making ramen on a stove was a mystery. More than once I saw him crunching his way through a
nonseussianproverb 11y my roommate of 3 months now has astounded me with the inane things she doesn't seem to grasp, for example: She saw me making a cheeseburger and promptly exclaimed that's how you melt cheese on it?! or something to that effect. She put a lid on something in the microwave and the handle started to smoke and melt because she didn't think that there might be a screw holding the thing together. She follows directions on mostly cooked food, ie: ready rice, frozen veggies etc, to the letter and then doesn't understand that there may be any number
11y My roommate had to ask me if the turkey was still good. Не bought it. Не never thought of checking the expiration date. He's 21. ... 7
LandoAmsterdam . 11y Showed a grown man how to use a hammer. Не started off trying to use two hands and I made the comment It's a hammer not a cock, use one hand. Turned out he was gay and a awkard moment ensued. ... 23
. 11y Sitting in library. 16-year-old asks librarian what the time is. Librarian points to clock. Girl says she cannot read analog clocks. I lift book I'm reading higher to hide shocked face. ... 20
B_Rich . 1 11y I'm a senior in college and I still find myself shaking my head when my classmates don't know how to use the campus bus routes to get back home. They're afraid they'll get lost and end up at rock bottom or some shit. ... 416
matt_sabbath . 11y A friend of mine in high school came to the deli where I worked and ordered a pound of peel-and-eat shrimp. Не didn't get the peel part and ate a whole pound of shrimp with the shells and legs on. ... 24
. 1 11y I know too many people, a lot of them female for some reason, who do not know their left and right and have to put their hands infront of them with the thumbs out to make the L for left. ... 57
SmackySmack - 11y Had to teach a 20 year old girlfriend how to grate cheese. She said her mom just put it in the blender. It made me sad to think about all of those taco nights without properly grated cheese. ... 20
vbm923 11y My boyfriend cannot understand anything but the exact time in exact numbers. If you say quarter after 4 he has no idea what you're talking about. Also, refuses to learn. ... 84
InBloom91 11y My 23 year old brother and I bought one of those big jugs of iced tea powder and he asked me, So, do you just dump the whole thing in and add the water?. I said yes. Priceless. ... 114
. 11y how to wash your face. i think most people dating back to early humans have figured out the- cup your hands under running water, lean your head over the sink and bring your hands up to your face process. i lived with an adult girl who did NOT know to do this. she would just swat the fucking water up at her face and get the sink, the counter, the mirror, the toilet, fucking EVERYTHING soaking wet. ... 508
sunnycuts. 11y Roommate once asked where the stamp goes on the letter he was sending. ... 223
Mrsmith4. 11y I had an ex-gf that still couldn't figure out how to open/ close blinds. She was 23. ... 186
. 1 11y I've recently had to explain to someone in their twenties what STD's are. This person had no idea. ... 49
par016 . 11y My girlfriend went 15,000 miles without getting an oil change. She thought you only bring it in when there is a problem. ... 410
Mashiara . 11y Sweeping and Mopping. We had a lot of community service workers and volunteers who had no idea what to do. ... 276
Nezerin . . 11y Met a woman in a parking garage that didn't know that her key could unlock the door. She flagged me down to ask if I could give her a ride to get a battery for the keyfob that unlocked the door so she could get into her car. ... 80
nedguychai . 11y My college roommate asked me how to make a sandwich. Like how to actually put mayonnaise on the bread and slice a tomato. Не was 22 and had recently been accepted to medical school. God help us. ... 1k
ScootaLewis . 11y My brother is 16. Не can't ride a bike or tie shoelaces or make food more complicated than switching on an oven or kettle. ... 191
FUCKING_EVERYTHING . 11y A friend of mine tried to cook rice in the kettle because she understood it involved heat and water. That was her logical conclusion.. She's 27. ... 320
. 1 11y My mom had to show my college roommate how to hang her clothes on hangers. I wish I was kidding. ... 10

Tags:

Scroll down for the next article

Must Read

VIRAL ON CRACKED

A WEEKLY
NEWSLETTER OF
JOKES + TRIVIA

Forgot Password?