24 of the Funniest Tweets from Wednesday, February 7, 2024

That’s exactly the kind of car Tracy Chapman sang about
24 of the Funniest Tweets from Wednesday, February 7, 2024

Even superheroes get the blues. After signing on for a Marvel movie and getting absolutely shredded, Kumail Nanjiani expected eternal glory, much like Robert Downey Jr. or Chris Evans. Unfortunately, what he got was anything but. While appearing on Michael Rosenbaum’s podcast Inside of You, the Big Sick comedian shared just how much the 2021 critical bomb Eternals affected his mental health. Or as Nanjiani told his fellow actor, “The reviews were bad, and I was too aware of it. I was reading every review and checking too much.” This negative feedback, which Nanjiani still has trauma from, led to the actor seeing a therapist. So the next time you leave a scathing Letterboxd review, remember that superheroes have feelings, too. 

Someone else who may need some therapy soon is presidential hopeful Nikki Haley. Just days after her much-criticized appearance on Saturday Night Live, the South Carolina Republican essentially ran uncontested in the Nevada primary — and still lost. The former ambassador’s clear line to victory was thwarted by voters coming out in droves and pledging their allegiance to Donald Trump by voting for “None of These Candidates” as the former president wasn’t on the ballot. If you think about it, President None of These Candidates does have a nice ring to it. 

Then there’s everyone on Twitter who absolutely needs therapy, but hopefully will never get it; otherwise, the timeline will be severely lacking in humor. Today’s funniest tweets include those about a fan of Male Living Spaces, a blasphemous SpongeBob and Hooters’ tiniest devotee.

Stone Cold Jane Austen @Ab... 20h ... Non-binary prospector: There's gold in them/their hills. 39 312 3,126 146K
Genny @gennyforlife07• 21h ... What did I just notice that they dress alike? 82 4,680 51.4K 1.3M
body pillow enthusiast @dmn... 13h ... I can't believe it worked Employees I I'M VERY VULNERABLE RIGHT NOW IF ANY GOTH GIRLS WOULD LIKE TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF ME. j@reeseusernametaken 2M 62.7K 4,349 169
Big Tucson Dad @BigTucsonD... 13h ... you got a fast car . i got a plan to get us out of here Oscar Mayer 38 3,017 39.3K 2.2M
IrishMann Carl @bornposting 1d ... The biggest debate over Alexander the Great's sexuality is not was he gay it's just how gay was he 5 45 528 13K
Grug @GRUGCEL 1d ... Vandaag 08:47 Sister Toby Keith died Mum M Sad, I liked him don't delete flappy bird from your phone you can't get it back dad Good idea D 25 1.4K 38K 951K
lip gallagher @lesbianpaki - 2 23h ... When your card declines at therapy so they make you relive all of 2021 again 109 7.6K 28K 760K
SONY bethany @kimwexlcrs 14h when a woman stays up past 2am its because she has a beautiful spirit that even the worst of 9-5 capitalism can't tie down. when a man stays up past 2am it is because he's a pervert 38 5.5K 50K 1.2M
GL @gldivittorio 1d Hillary Clinton's draft folder is absolutely lawless right now Talk of the Charts @talkofthecharts - 1d Female artists win every single category in the main telecast at the #GRAMMYs for the first time ever. Barbé 1 61 3K 161K
jár @jarodzsz 15h dirty martini and chicken run kinda night CHICKEN RUN 5 62 1.2K 51K
Mya @serialswaghaver.16h Automated r/MaleLivingSpace is continually the funniest place on the internet 107 2.3K 45K 1.2M
eve @impossiblyeve. 1d unrelated but how long until i go back to normal eve ... @impossiblyeve 2d should : - Buy this - - - NY I THE John Daty NEW YOD RHINOMAXXX 22000 MADE WITH NANO SUPER LONG LASTING 69 NEW TECHNOLOGY FOR BETTER ABSORPTION RHINOI SUPER LONG Dolo W EXTRACT LI PSULES ST UM STRENGTH)) DO PER LIBIDO MINA NA INS 2 CAPSULES 200 mg FORMANO STAMINA MADE IN A ERED my PERFORMANCE FDA -22 REGISTERED FACILITY WARNING:Beware of counterfeit prod 408 5.7K 99K 8.7M
Taddy Mason @rod4short. 1d Still the most insane graphic of all-time N T FOOTBALL OUT INDEFINITELY CH X MONONUCLEOSIS 25 601 14K 516K
soul nate @MNateShyamalan1 14h absolutely heinous to put spongebob squarepants on a sphere. this goes against everything he stood for nym TM @aretteepls 1d How am I supposed to sleep when this is outside my window 127 6.4K 109K 3.6M
sonic stacey @zodiacsquirrel . 1d ... Who wants to go out, I found a place COCKTAILS DANCING SANDWICHES B-J'S 22 94 746 32K
mere strömb @merestromb 1d Me when I'm the least important person in a 40+ person meeting and I don't know what anyone is talking about imgflip.com 3.3K 10 42K 1.2M
MIKA LEE @themikalaleeann- 22h i am not joking when i say this would send me into psychosis SCVNO @Scvno_ . 3 3d Excision with the new visuals!! @Excision 0:34 0:19 0:34 148 3.9K 68K 3.2M
Christie Curry @ChristieCurry25.3d My 6 year old, who LOVES owls, is BEGGING to go to the owl restaurant HOOTERS ALT 328 365 7.9K 472K
Heben Nigatu @hebennigatu . 1d Breathe in. Breathe out. You're going to be OKAYYY XXL XXL Magazine @XXL . 1d Lil Jon is coming out with a guided meditation album, TMZ reports. The 10-track project is reportedly scheduled to drop on Feb. 16 STE The CRETS & SIS T 785 65K 3 74
Emily Murnane @emily_murna... 17h ... Oh so you thumbs upped my text instead of hearting it, quick question why do u fucking hate me? 35 5,798 52.4K du 1.3M
RYA @Genesxi 21h ... this is crazy United Kingdom I deleted Duolingo 5h Reply 6,335 Duolingo Creator learning languages is good for you colonizer 5h Reply 9,524 View 325 replies 452 57K 540K 8.1M
Sint 2 @Sintailius 20h AT THE WHERE Do YOU WORK OUT? boobs RUTH Fact @Fact.3d A German study concludes that staring at women's breasts for 10 minutes a day is better for your health than going to the gym. 46 5,037 55.5K 3.3M
unregistered hyperkate 2 @ka... 5h ... The New York Times ... https://www.nytimes.com> labrado... Labradoodle Creator Says the Breed Is His Life's Regret Sep 25, 2019 - The inventor of the labradoodle, the ubiquitous, mopheaded designer dog, said that creating the mixed breed was one of his life's regrets. BN Garett Jones @Gar... 1/24/24 Name other scholars beside Oppenheimer who spent their later years running away from their early work 101 5,107 59.1K 2.7M
jamie housesparrow.bsky 17h ... tommy bayer @TommmyBear  fisherman 1: Help! I got caught in the fish net! fisherman 2: is it just me or is dave looking a little ... hot? fisherman 3: no dave is definitely being hot rn 12:36 PM 24 Oct 18 Weyes Blood @WeyesBlood•17h tomorrow 2 488 10.7K 506K

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