24 of the Funniest Tweets from Thursday, February 1, 2024

We need a president who’s familiar with the brokey lifestyle
24 of the Funniest Tweets from Thursday, February 1, 2024

Don’t look now, but we have another apocalyptic terror coming our way: 28 Years Later. After Cillian Murphy’s Peaky Blinders run and propulsive success with Oppenheimer, this newest project will see the actor return to where it all began. Murphy is set to reunite with Danny Boyle and Alex Garland for the third installation of the horror franchise, and while details surrounding Murphy reprising his breakout role are still under quarantine, we do know that he will be on board as an executive producer, too. 

Meanwhile, after a week of the most insane takes you’ve ever seen, including just about every actor on earth coming to her support, Margot Robbie broke her silence about not getting an Oscar nomination by more or less saying, “I’m good, y’all be easy though.” More specifically, the Barbie actress, who is still nominated for an Oscar for producing the cultural phenomenon, told Variety, “There’s no way to feel sad when you know you’re this blessed.” Just as her fellow co-stars America Ferrera and Ryan Gosling spoke out for her, Robbie shared that her real disappointment is that director Greta Gerwig’s “once-in-a-career, once-in-a-lifetime thing” wasn’t singled out in the Best Director category.

Today might be the start of a new month, but we’ve still got the same funny as hell tweets gracing our timeline. Today’s most hilarious ones include those about the need for a president familiar with Coinstar, one of life’s greatest joys and the symptom of autism that nobody’s talking about.

good reddit @GoodReddit - 12h ... Agumo 4y 1 Award pen in left hand wtf do you have autism? + Reply -65 WhiteCatOsu ОР 4y 1 Award pen in left hand wtf do you have autism? Im lefthanded + 72 88 2,019 50K 1.2M
Taylor @barfieldthecat.22h We need a president who has used a coinstar machine under financial distress. 44 771 5,090 126K
andy van slyke @im_all_id 19h Ahh the little spark of life whenever a meeting is canceled 19 785 6,206 del 117K
animals going goblin mode 14h ... bro is flabbergasted 2018-01-15 7:35:49 PM M 3/3 10 23°C RECONYX GCBI69 152 8,581 126K 3.6M
GA illiterate autodidact @cigarett... 10h ... JOHN FETTERMAN !! the High Council Of Pennsylvania Fat Boys have deemed you unworthy!! you are hereby EXCOMMUNICADO!! your Shorts In Winter privileges have been REVOKED !! your Sheetz card will be DESTROYED!! May God have mercy on your soul !! 8 267 2,106 39.9K
Fake History Hunter @fakehis... 13h ... This made me laugh, then think and now my head hurts. r/NoStupidQuestions u/Snipper64 1d Could a vampire policemen enter my house if they had a warrant? This question has destroyed many of my friend groups. 223 2,210 19.3K 555K
alex @midsmoker34. 11h when you go to dap that awkward white dude up and he freezes but you don't judge him for it because you know he's fighting inner battles that you could never comprehend 14 322 4,174 130K
@metaangeli . 10h , @pinkslitt_ 14h do y'all think beyoncé owns a flower farm? POP CRAVE Pop Crave @PopCrave.14h Victoria Monét reveals Beyoncé and Megan Thee Stallion sent her flowers to toast her success. 17 12 348 del 19K Monterius @BaldHeadLesbian 13h a garden? 4 71 69 1K 1.4K 19 25K 342K
Le Super. @Mmakgosidarling.1 1d I thought this was one picture and was worried about the orientation of everything. NZ @yemayaxx.1 1d 39 61K 1.6M 4.3K
bam !? @4azai 1d Yeah basically diego Follow @shadesof666 *gets hit by a car* Passerby: ARE YOU OKAY? Me: Please... I need my... phone *opens Twitter* Me: LMFAOOOOOOO YALL GUESS WHAT 10:05 PM - 24 Feb 2018 104,714 Retweets 368,301 Likes bam !? @4azai 1d IJUST GOT HIT BY A CAR 177 28K 212K 3.7M
Matthew Zeitlin @MattZeitlin 1d ... it's so tight that francis ford coppola is so famously bad at making money from movies that by necessity he became incredibly successful in two other industries just to finance his movie habit 26 486 9.9K 823K
Noor @Noorthevirgo • 1d i love asking 7 different ppl for advice then do what i want 56 8.9K 39K del 1M
@ravishingdreka • 1d ... Tax Returns: $11,400 Me at JUICY CRAB:Add a SHARK 337 4.8K 33K 1.8M
maybe: clare (travis' version) (10 minute versi... . 22h ... do you ever go over to your parent's house and it's so loud and chaotic and you're like ohhhhh this is why I had a nervous breakdown 19 1.4K 17K 481K
MJ @Mj_21ii . 1d what if we wake up tomorrow and it's january the 32nd 148 9.2K 94K 2.3M
woke neo-Marcusian @ChelseaWooff 1d Your unemployed Balkan friend at 1pm 1 E siden 32 917 7.4K 923K
Brooklyn @bklynb4by 1d me trying to steal two lamps from ikea: Caroline Polachek News O @polacheknews 1d Caroline Polachek at the Resonator Awards last night RESONATOR WE ARE MOVING AWARDS THE NEEDLE OR NG RESONAT WE ARE MOVING AWARDS THE NEEDLE WE ARE ٨ THE NEED RESONATOR AWARDS gettyimages Credit: Rich Polk RESONATO 29K 7 1K 1.2M
(doctor) Alex Grease @dodgonkulator 1d ... this is a pretty good feature for a car to have DRIVE MODE 12V ABOW 693 22K 511K 16
Clug @Clug_chan 23h they sequenced my dna and told me im genetically identical to this thing 13 1K 9.9K 241K
Regime Economist @binraccooon 1d There are cathedrals everywhere for those with the eyes to see 202 3K 62K 2.3M
Kourtney @k_ourtney 1d ... LIME anonymous girl @nice_good_girt1 - 1d Hate when babies laugh like the fuck is so funny you don't even know your name or where you are right now 13 1.2K 16K 1.2M
Dylan St. Jaymes @Dylan_StJaymes - 1d I would have WRECKED that man's home, do you hear me? Fuck Kathy and them kids lol Holekage of the Hidden Bussy Village @CA.... 2d Olivia Benson has more restraint and will power than I do 76 699 5.2K 400K
Keifer @DannyVegito 21h for $3500 you can get shinigami eyes for pasta Joey Banks @joeyabanks 1d This was the first frame from an Apple Vision Pro review that made me believe we're all going to be using and leaning into spacial computing soon enough. It always comes back to timers. youtube.com/watch?v=8xl10S... Balsamic Mushroom and Sausage Pasta Step1 Balsamic Mushroom and Sausage Pasta 7:30 Stap 2 5:52 +1 +5 +10 +10 108 84K 9.7K 4.8M
bigsock @biggersocks. 15h can i come over and look at you like this J@qwwx xwwpot 241 9.9K 106K 2.8M


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