20 of the Weirdest Things Witnessed by Lifeguards

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20 of the Weirdest Things Witnessed by Lifeguards

It seems that the mere presence of a lifeguard prompts people to use their best attention-seeking tactics. Take, for instance, the woman who poorly enacted a romcom plot by fake drowning to stir (professional) interest from the lifeguard on duty. Or the woman who faked an asthma attack so she could get a high from the oxygen mask in her lifeguard’s first-aid kit (though faking an asthma attack is messed up, she sounds fun to party with). 

The lifeguards of Reddit have blown the whistle on the weirdest, funniest and most unbelievable things they’ve witnessed while sitting poolside, and they’ve really seen some shit — figuratively and literally.

makeasmore . 4y A older woman used to come for the express purpose of letting the warm water of the therapy pool move her bowels. After she shat in the pool a few times, she was asked not to return. ... 10

PseudomonasSmile . 4y I worked at a university pool for years. Tons of stories, including when I walked into a pool while talking to a tour group. But my favorite was when this guy left the gym through the outdoor pool deck. Clean clothes on, full backpack. Guy was looking at his phone and ended up taking two full steps into the center of the pool. It felt like an episode of the road runner. ... 4

devonsworkaccount. 4 4y A girl shaved her legs in the kiddie section ... 6

shann-tastic . 4y We once had a man come into our pool for lane swim. Не had all the latest gear, brand new suit, cap and goggles. Не got to the edge of the deck and did some arm circles, adjusted his goggles and dove into the pool. Не popped up for a few seconds then promptly started flailing and gasping for breath. A colleague jumped in and pulled him out immediately. We were all really confused until he told us he had never swam before and he thought it came naturally. ... 1.4k

ImRickyCarlisle . 5y KRYPTIK We used to roll up cosmic brownies and throw them in the pool in order to get an hour break. It was a regular thing. Not exactly a nasty thing for us. But i'm sure that visitors weren't impressed by our record number of fecal incident responses. ... 17

WoodlandWizard77 . 4y I'm a lifeguard at a local kiddie pool in a less than great part of town. Strangest one was the white hippie lady with dreads dancing with hoola hoops in the middle of the pool. ... 15

honnabonona . 4y Had a kid at the lake take a bite out of a dead fish because his friend told him too... ... 111

goofer2921 4y My buddy and I both lifeguarded for 2 summers our first week on the job a little boy about 5 years old runs over to my buddy with a phone and shows him the screen. My buddy started laughing uncontrollably and double whistled to get a manager. Right after, the kids dad runs over and throws the phone into the deep end of the pool (which I was watching). The manager came out to our stands and asked what happened. My friend explained that the kid had a porn sight on the phone and told him he had

joepbrett . 4y I once had a lady who had a snorkel on. She then proceeded to dunk the snorkel under the water every single time she took a stroke. ... 58

jackaloper92 . . 4y On the hottest day of the year when we were short on guards, we paid a guy 5 bucks to shit in the pool so we could clear it for an hour to clean ... 218

 . 4y A couple having sex in the pool. We kicked them out but not before he finished in the pool ... 187

Mentalfloss1 . 4y Fake drowning by a woman who admitted that she wanted my attention. I wanted to drown her. ... 660

foreverkasai . 4y One guy hopped in the pool and just walked along the bottom with his nose just out of the water the whole time. I never once saw him come up to breathe with his mouth, just his nose. It was hard to watch the rest of the pool because I thought I'd have to jump in to get him, but eventually he got out and left. ... 96

Onwardahoyarg5 . . 4y I had a lady try to bring a fully loaded plate of picnic food into the swimming pool. She seemed genuinely surprised when we told her she couldn't eat it in the pool. ... 74

 . 4y I was a lifeguard at a camp, and this Pentecostal church came to stay (about 500 of them). Even in the pool, the boys would wear slacks and a belt. No shirt, but they'd be wearing their tan slacks, and brown belt. Blew my mind. ... 34

plain_ass_username . 4y Life guarding was my first job when i was 16. I watched a little girl around 9-10 years of age dive head first (with a life jacket on) into a kitty pool of about 6 inches. needless to say, she smoked her dome and i had to patch up a little cut on her forehead. ... 291

 . 4y We had jets of water that came up from the bottom of the pool. A girl masturbated by parking herself over it. Sat there for at least ten minutes.

GriffinFlies . 4y These two kids were having a competition of who could pretend to drown in the most realistic way.... ... 368

ohshitaratoohhhshit . . 4y A lady once had an athsma attack so we put her on the oxygen only to find out that uer оху saturation levels were at 100%, turns out she just wanted an oxygen high ... 508

Grape_is_good . 4y Not really that weird, but once watched a teenager naruto run through the lazy river for my entire 15 minute rotation. ... 140

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