23 of the Funniest Tweets from the Week of January 8, 2024

He’s cracked the code
23 of the Funniest Tweets from the Week of January 8, 2024

This week was the week that kept on giving. We discovered that new key cards are getting activated at the White Lotus, witnessed an unexpected beef between a late-night host and an ayahuasca-shilling professional football player and learned that Regina Hall may finally receive her flowers thanks to a $100 million movie from Paul Thomas Anderson. In the middle of it all, one actress revealed her fear that audiences are growing sick of seeing her on the big screen. 

After serving as the face of a billion-dollar blockbuster, Barbie’s Margot Robbie told Deadline that she’s taking a short break from acting. The actress, whose production company LuckyChap inspired the internet’s current obsession with Jacob Elordi’s bath water by producing Saltburn, told the outlet that overexposure led to the decision. While she’s been attached to the Ocean’s prequel, she said the project is very much “still in development,” so there’s no date set for Robbie to return to the screen. 

Have no fear, though — the timeline has still been pumping out hilarious tweets. This week’s funniest ones include those about landlord-evading tactics that cost an arm and a leg, the Republican presidential candidate who has been pegged for the nomination and a practical case for back-door access.

Viv @VSquaredTwo.19h ... - - If I was a dude I feel like a toothy blowjob might be exciting or at least interesting I dunno. You guys like to complain a lot 112 2,551 33.7K del 1.1M
iris @TOWOT-11h When landlord tried to charge us $300 for a cleaning lady to randomly come and I couldnt find any other way for him to dead the issue Omg! so sorry; Let me know if I can be any help. Today 9:24 PM She is being amputated right now one of us will not be home for a long time sorry for the inconvenience who is being amputated? I'm so sorry this is happening. Don't worry - no inconvenience at all !! Kayla, both her arms and legs Delivered Message 13 264 3,888 127K
animals going goblin mode 3h ... good morning guys Morning Mix 'Make better choices: Endangered Hawaiian monk seals keep getting eels stuck up their noses and scientists want them to stop 25 1,234 11.7K 313K
beer person @CantEverDie 19h ... this republican primary is getting wild!! EQ The Washington Post S ELECTIONS Live updates Election 2 Nikki Haley tops Ron DeSantis for the first time 110 2,070 41.7K del 1.4M
old tom @YuckyTom -14h roight facked innit MinT Mirror Celeb Mirr @Mirror... 18h or Prince Harry and William have a secret three-word code for 'times of extreme crisis' mirror.co.uk/3am/us- celebri... 52 3,407 58.8K 3.1M
Stunna @incognitoStunna 4d Her: You must be a white dude stuck in a vase if you think we're fuckin Me: 3 463 8.9K 518K
AARON !! rhymes with the hermit of mink hollow @ab... . 4d ... Just when the world needed him most...he vanished. 4 163 3.1K 105K
Olaf Falafel @OFalafel 4d And for those of you who don't want to know tonight's score, look away now Woman 0 Man 1- OUT 19 468 9.7K 247K
Glen Powell @glenpowell. 4 4d I think this is the perfect time to announce that Hanyman @justinhartley and I will be starring in the most boring body-swap movie of all time. the nollywood reporter wink THR Glen Powell has arrived for tonight's 2024 #GoldenGlobes ceremony O Glen Powell and Golden Globe Awards J. ала 12 33 35 234 3.1K 50K 2M
Future Rockstar GF @fendifaguette 4d ... Bitches don't know how to stay home 4 689 5.4K 146K
Jesse Case @jessecase 4d ... Every awards show, I'm blown away by the secretly-British. Like someone always wins for playing Al Capone and goes, oy, I wanna thank me nan, who's in hospital, innit. Absolute mayhem. 107 3.2K 44K 2.2M
anna @phastos_.44 will smith was right... we should slap stand up comedians 39 5.2K 53K du 1.6M
alexandra @ternhavens 4d ... well yes #GOLDENGLOBES V + 488 comments X Camila he has never ever resisted the voices in his head 1h Reply 4427 13 3.3K 47K 1M
maha @mahaaaay 4d my buddy made $3.48 on a bet tonight I can see why this is addicting What a rush 23 561 16K 1.1M
lola - * @lolathesh0wgirl 6d i'm going to be single for the rest of my life Yeah pretty cool, what other interests do you have X Mine is anal X Are u down ?х 126 383 9.9K 831K
Tony X @soloucity 4d ... THE REMATCH O 23 30 WARRIORE AP The Associated Press @AP . 4d Defendant who attacked judge in wild courtroom video will face her again in Las Vegas apnews.com/article/ las-ve... 6 461 9.4K 1M
kip @uorplefever. 5d ... freddy fazbear if he slayed Glub commissions open @bara_moe_... . 6 6d why was this even drawn what was the context 49 3.6K 50K 999K
с @ihyrave 3d ... Pussy is everywhere that's But a woman gone argue w/ customer service & get yo shit back is NOT 37 2.6K 21K 622K
The Oafmaxxing Bumbler @NBABabySecret 3d ... We got 13 inches last night, and it also snowed a lot is the perfect joke, but the woke mind virus has convinced my coworkers that this needed to go to HR. 19 1.6K 35K del 1.1M
ellie schnitt @holy_schnitt.4d ... cillian murphy giving his golden globes speech with lipstick all over his face from his wife kissing him? neeeed a real lover boy like that 518 41K 446K 29M
W.E.B. DaBoi @Tyre_94 20h At any given time, I'm only 6 Miller lites from telling a woman I need her 29 1,666 16.4K del 1M
sierra @polaroidbonez 20h Everyone is pregnant like USE YOUR BUTT!! 173 5,092 35.5K del 1.7M
bald ann dowd @ali_sivi 15h ... can i come over and do this LOS LONG STA BK STAI - LONE - HU TA 16 MU - 16 13 728 5,400 218K


Scroll down for the next article
Forgot Password?