22 of the Funniest Tweets from January 5, 2024

Yeah, only a crab would say that…
22 of the Funniest Tweets from January 5, 2024

It looks like the White Lotus Resort & Spa has new guests checking in for what will surely be a relaxing experience for everyone involved. Film critic Jeff Sneider reported that The Leftovers’ Carrie Coon is set to board the show’s third season. Among other names in the official announcement is comedian Natasha Rothwell, who is set to reprise her Emmy-nominated role on the series. Unfortunately, Jennifer Coolidge’s name is nowhere to be found, which means Mike White probably won’t be indulging her soap-opera pipedream of returning to the series as Tanya McQuoid’s twin sister.

As people throw out their own casting ideas, it would be nice to see Patrick Stewart in the White Lotus mix. Widely known as Picard on Star Trek, the English actor reprised an equally famous role as mutant activist Professor X in 2022’s Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness. But the experience was nothing like his previous X-Men outings. Stewart joined Josh Horowitz on the Happy Sad Confused podcast and discussed the “frustrating and disappointing” filming process for the Doctor Strange sequel. The actor told Horowitz that “the big scene,” which saw a number of unexpected, crowd-pleasing MCU cameos, were shot individually. Disappointed in the solo-ness of it all, Stewart lamented how “the last few years have been challenging,” which really should earn the stage and screen icon a trip to Thailand.

Over on the timeline, our favorite tweeters have clocked in to help us laugh our way to clocking out of the work week. Today’s funniest tweets include those about a baby trading in “Schoolhouse Rock” for “Jailhouse Rock,” someone who can’t even dream about being rich and arguably the most effective campaign against human trafficking ever.  

Jake Roy @Jake3Roy 17h ... I hate to be a snitch, but someone is playing Fortnite in Fenway right now MassMutual C MassMutual DON BUS NABLE AVO SM BATTAR NOTALE PIAT ZE 0:13 132 1.7K 23K 4.4M
PEPPERS @WHITEHOTPEPPERS.2 20h LANA DEL REY honeymoon Instagram 11M followers 406 posts You've followed this Instagram account since 2023 You both follow billieeilish View profile SUN 14:38 notice me i'm your biggest fan 16:06 giving away free vapes hey 101 5.1K 81K 1.9M
tommy bayer @tommybayertime 21h dreamt last night that I had $500 extra dollars... the most money my brain could possibly conjure up 11 494 12K 208K
Jason, ex Inferis @benedictsred . 23h ... I'm simply suggesting an upside down water bottle at my desk so I can drink like a hamster and never stop typing. 20 175 1.9K 49K
clare @sadderlizards.2 20h oh nooo a minor inconvenience guess i'll die 30 11K 33K 867K
Jill Gutowitz @jillboard 11h shouting this news to my girlfriend in the other room like jfk was just shot POP CRAVE Pop Crave @PopCrave.13h Carrie Coon is reportedly in talks to star in 'The White Lotus' Season 3. : theinsneider.com/p/white-lotus-... THE WHITE LOTUS 7 193 4.3K 276K
Adam @adamgreattweet.2 21h ... toddlers before and after saying i can do it by myself DUNKIN' DUNKIN' DUNKIN г DUNKIN' с DUNKIN' DUNKIN 44K 875 87 6
madison @node_messenger . 2 20h 8 how it feels to eat on adderall Synekura Audio @synekura_audio - 1d Marzena Nowak, 'Bread with Soil', 2017 12 207 3.4K 198K
girl dennis reynolds @paddysroyco 2 22h ... what kind of film update is this FILM UPDATES Film Updates @FilmUpdates. 1d Jeremy Allen White for Calvin Klein CC 37 350 14K 661K
к @843KT 14h Garlic Butter Papi @RGT_Thoughts - 17h Can we finally admit that seafood boils are overrated? 102 12K 106K 4.6M
Atomic Annie @_AtomicAnnie - 17h Feeling my oats QUAKER Est 1877 <<< 50 1.5K 13K 334K
Jendry @jendry_baby.1 14h Putting your baby daddy to work > Outlander Magazine @StreetFashion01-15h ASAP Rocky collabs with Rihanna's Fenty Skin & Beauty for product Lux Balm (2024) C FENTY SKIN 0:08 32 6.1K 45K 1.6M
cake @NintendoGCN· 17h Skibidi bop yes yes yes! Nope! DarrenZeus @DarrenZeusVR - 1d do people know what this is? В+СЛО 34 2.6K 39K 1.1M
jojo @helllojojo 14h sometimes i randomly think about this conversation and immediately start laughing 2901 comments X kaylinnnn_14 what movie? 1431 7h Reply weluvmypencileatingcat don't worry darling 222 6h Reply 4dna..a weluvmypencileatingcat i won't worry just give me the movie name 653 6h Reply 52 5.3K 86K 1.4M
KAYTRANADA @dontblameitonKC-10h Listen Kay ... @KaylarWill Idk if I ever told a man you won't find anyone better than me cause shit... you might? What category we talking bout? Cause I might get smoked. 2:00 PM 6/7/22 Twitter for iPhone 193 Retweets 149 Quote Tweets 434 Likes This Tweet has been deleted. Ms. Madisha @_Nadimadisha - 1 1d There's a lady that wakes up at 5am to make her husband lunch for work. 39 3.1K 13K 634K
Böb Jänke: Hönky @Bob_Janke.22h Get those Kuntz on the phone Kuntz & Kuntz Attorneys at Law 29 149 1K 48K
didyoujustsaywig @2002scoobydoo . 15h ... she looks like she just tricked mr incredible into going to a private island so he can be k!lled POP CRAVE @PopCrave. 3d Pop Crave Lady Gaga stuns in new photo. 4 1.5K 380K 14K
joey @emmarobcerts - 2 20h ... this billboard makes me giggle every time i pass it because i really believe she'd actually kick somebody's ass Human Trafficking? NOT IF I'M AROUND HVA Call #77 to Report LA AR 053206 10 114 2K 40K
mandoBau @mandoBau - 1d ... this app is fucked dude im getting adult cartoon goonposting on my tl at 8 in the morning Leela BellaFX Gaming @bellafxcosplay.12/28/23 You can only smash one (Francine, Lois, Marge or Leela) E: E ONE'S POPS 404 6.3K 94K 4.5M
rebecca jennings @rebexxxxa 21h this is insane but also I bet it feels S0000 good to walk into the mom section of your 11-year-old son's hockey game with one of these Sean Garrette @seangarrette. 1d this is an illness. the girls need help. CC STANLEY. ONE QUENCHER H2.0 TUMBLER STANLEY - - - 8 39 1.9K 136K
Gabrielle Drolet @gabrielledrolet-18h ... she is investigating Gabrielle Drolet @gabrielledrolet. 1d really excited to announce that I just bought a tiny little bath with a running water fountain for pidgey 84 4.9K 76K 1.9M
buc nasty @CindyM0on·1 17h My son trying to pay for his groceries with a drivers license...he is going to JAIL 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 x o Driving li Name Date of Birth Address YOUR PHOTO 104 3.6K 60K 943K

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