20 Funny, Weird or Wholesome Things People Discovered About Their Significant Other

20 Funny, Weird or Wholesome Things People Discovered About Their Significant Other

When Whoopi Goldberg said she didn’t want to get married because she “didn’t want someone in (her) house,” she was onto something — there’s a certain level of mystery you can maintain when you don’t share a living space with the person you love. Truthfully, you don’t necessarily need to know the precise manner in which your sweetie eats a bag of chips, or how the love of your life deals with their booger situation. 

Redditors have waxed poetic about the little things they discovered about their significant others after living together, and we have some questions about the non-farting husband. 

viktor72 . 6y Не is obsessed with programmable things. Now all of our lamps are programmed so if I walk into a room I have to go Alexa, turn on the lights. It's like living in some sci fi movie. It's fun until we get into a fight and then he fucks with me by doing weird shit to the lights. ... 10.4k

zobe910 . 6y Не spits after doing simple bathroom things.. spits in the toilet after a pee, spits in the sink after washing his hands. I'm not sure how it started for him..? ... 422

PM_ME_YOR_BEWBS . 6y My wife leaves cupboards open, like all of them. ... 2k

Tlehmann22 . . 6y She sucks the seasoning off of chips before eating them. So weird ... 3.2k

Diamond5IsAwful - . 6y Late to the thread, but my girlfriend wiggles her butt back and forth every night until she falls asleep. She says it helps her relax, and honestly it's the cutest thing ever. ... 1.1k

Fruit-Viking . 6y My husband is deaf (to clarify, I did know this before we moved in together). The thing is, I had NO IDEA how loud he could be. It should have occurred to me sooner, but he has no concept of his own volume. Listening to him make a cup of tea is like having the cast of Stomp in our kitchen. ... 3.3k

littlebitchcake . 6y Не burps in his sleep, and when he burps, he actually says the word burp. It's bizarre. ... 7.9k

 . 6y She opens cereal boxes like Bruce Banner would mid hulk transformation, and she also washes her face by splashing water into her face with reckless abandon. Bathroom counter looks like the end of a SeaWorld show. Minus the animal cruelty.

sauerpatchkid 6y We've been married a little over 10 years. I just realized a month ago, he lays his socks out every night before bed. Not a shirt, not a pair of pants or his belt, but his socks. Edit: I just asked him if he's been laying socks out every night recently. Не says he's been doing it since he was a kid. Не hates wasting time trying to find mates. Не likes to sleep in as late as he can before heading out the door, this I did know. It's a time saver. :) Edit: with all the

Margrraun . 6 6y When brushing his teeth, he doesn't swish water in mouth using his cheek muscles like a normal person, he vigorously thrashes his head back and forth. I have been told his older brother does this as well. ... 318

cutehulhu . 6y I thought he didn't like my cooking because he would rush into the plate and then not say anything afterwards to me. Turns out that when he eats something he really enjoys he will eat it REALLY vigorously and then have to recover from his food coma. ... 3.8k

 . 6y When she has one or more boogers in her nose. she grabs a fucking tissue, usually sits down next to me, proceeds to pick her nose for 10 straight minutes and starts casually talking to me. She puts them orderly in a line on the tissue. rarely until her nose bleeds. I'm disgusted and weirded the fuck out by that and she thinks it's totally normal. ... 1.1k

fantochefou . 6 6y The other way around - it had just never come up in conversation that I'm fluent in French. Не seemed skeptical, so he quizzed me every so often. We had dated for about three years before he moved in. Now he just asks me to translate memes written in French. ... 5.1k

BitterFortuneCookie 6y Mortal fear of chickens. Had I known this before she would not have let me move in much less marry me because I have terrified her to the point of screaming and crying on more than one occasion. ... 323

invrgotmoneyfromsanta . 6y She can eat cold food out of the refrigerator like it is nothing. KFC out of the fridge? Gobble that shit up. Mashed potato? Yum, she says. ... 343

derpeedame12.66 We've been married for 21 years and I have only heard him burp maybe 2 times and fart about the same. Не is also a phantom pooper.... no smell and he's in and out in record time. It's so weird. I'm pretty normal in the gas department but feel like an absolute Neanderthal if I let one rip. ... 5.5k

silence1545 . 6y Cups. New clean cup for every new drink, he is physically incapable of rinsing and reusing.

skinnywhitechik . 6y My husband puts butter on his pop tarts after toasting them ... 787 ARsurfer19 . 6y Your husband is stoned. ... 1.6k

xhaltdestroy . 6 6y Не stands with one foot on the toilet, and then crouches, to wipe. I have no idea. It always looks like he's trying to put in a tampon for the first time. ... 5k

under-ghost.6y She drinks half then saves it in the fridge. Only thing is, she doesn't go back ever to finish it. ... 841
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