36 of the Funniest Tweets from January 3, 2024

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36 of the Funniest Tweets from January 3, 2024

Best Buy is sticking to its New Year’s Resolution of removing physical media from its stores. When such a move was first speculated last year, it was assumed that DVDs and Blu-rays would become online exclusives, but the big-box retailer confirmed that it will suspend these sales online, too. The store cited a change in the way audiences consume media and that the elimination of physical media would allow stores the space to house “new and innovative tech for (customers) to explore, discover and enjoy.” 

This ill-advised rationale comes just days after Hollywood power brokers like Scott Pilgrim director Edgar Wright and HBO mainstay Carrie Coon took to Twitter to share the films they watched on physical media in 2023. On top of that, stores have barely been able to keep Oppenheimer’s recent 4K release on shelves. In other words, it doesn’t take a theoretical physicist to see that there’s still a clear demand for physical media.  

Meanwhile, Disney is coming to terms with the idea that its crown is badly slipping. After a series of lackluster releases, the studio that’s sat comfortably in the top spot since 2015 had to settle for second place as Universal Pictures became the highest grossing studio of 2023. Blockbusters like the aforementioned Oppenheimer and The Super Mario Bros. Movie took the studio right to the top with a whopping $4.9 billion at the box office. In fact, Disney didn’t even have one of the top three highest-grossing films of the year, and none of its films crossed the billion-dollar threshold, which hasn’t happened since 2014. Hopefully this serves as a wake-up call to the House of Mouse that the power of storytelling is much more important than a deluge of content. 

Anyway, as people are finally getting back into the office, they’re ready to kick up their feet and scroll the timeline instead of circling back to those emails collecting dust. Today’s funniest tweets include those about a goofy sugar jar, some fallen toy soldiers and latent computer programming.

Sammy Breakfast @sam_thraxx· 1d ... a girl tried to hit on me at the new year's eve party i was at girl: are you single? me: like a pringle girl *cracking up*: lol do you have instagram me: yeah, my ig is sammy breakfast. you can follow my adventures there girl: maybe i could go on the next adventure me: no 37 319 17.7K 447K

wild TikTok screenshots 22h ... how those little boys on xbox parties always know what slur to call you + 3306 comments x souroxalis theyre empaths 22,7K Liked by creator 33 2,898 81.8K 2.4M

@kwesidillaa.2 20h frontal lobe must be cooking properly because some things are starting to make sense 50 14.6K 75.4K 2.4M

Miller Lite Warlord @sabatonf... 18h ... My girlfriend's dad who I'm already on thin ice with kicks his legs up on the ottoman Me: You know they used to have an empire 18 1,543 34.7K del 970K

kira @kirawontmiss 21h those peas look like if someone melted the green soldiers from toy story No Context Brits @NoContextBrits -1 11/31/23 British cuisine. Best in the world. 1.2K 28K 444K 24M

Uncle Benzo @SobrietyField. dd My shit is about to be on time and pipping hot LTA Tiger 5556 Deliveries since May 2021 100% 5,556 Deliveries Satisfaction rate 34 176 9.1K 184K

defleppardfan94 @lemonade_grrrl. 22h finally, my beautiful dinner is ready! now to go hold the entire cast iron over the living room furniture for a little while @mayakern 1d maya kern when the most accident prone person you know makes ratatouille 103 120K 4.1K 4.8M

Brock @brockomole. 19h A lot of yall would fold in this situation vsstand WE ARE OPEN!! WE SELL CANDY WE SELL CIGARETTES 68 37K 2K 1M

@mescalist . 1d ... wedding oscar noms announcement outfit outfit FILM UPDATES Film Updates @FilmUpdates.1 1d The nominations for the 96th Academy Awards will be announced DSCARS on January 23. 850 8.3K 369K 2

Hannah Posts @HannahPosted 15h Trying so hard not to be mean rn michaela okland Subscribe @MichaelaOkla Just found out pickles are cucumbers I can't fucking breathe 8:25 PM 02 Jan 24 10.2K Views 3 Reposts 2 Quotes 150 Likes 6 Bookmarks Bill Buttlicker @Grateful420... 22m ... Replying to @MichaelaOkla this is how i felt when i figured out raisins 1 3 del 455 michaela okland @Michaela... 22m What about raisins 3 8 466 Show replies 54 347 9.1K the 200K

tweet davidson @andykreed 1d I hope everyone enjoyed the ball drop! Let's try not to drop the ball on anything in Q1! 92 3.1K 41K 3.5M

YungtButowsti @_yung_bukowski_t h th ... Day one no nicotine DungtButomsti4 @_yung_bukowski_ t dd Day one no nicotine 30 714 16K 835K

pinar @pienar 16h his ass is not cunty he's serving goofy at best Iris @Jest_Iris2 23h him: you better not be a cunty sugar jar when I get there me: 395 13K 20 422K

Mary 'Misfit' Summers @8thDrBestDr. dd Gay people can't just say a woman looks good 4F DiscussingFilm @DiscussingFilm -1 1d Michelle Yeoh has become a grandmother. 64 5K 93K 3.8M

gay & tonic @DeeRene_ 19h DAP Problem-solver first. Bad bitch immediately after. @CapricuntofCats . 20h Period CC 48 7.6K 77K 3.4M

jordy bo bordy @bordyjojordy.18h he never responded btw jordy bo bordy @bordyjojordy - 9/1/23 let her cook As seen on my Mom's fridge The hell'd you do to get that whole damn beach to yourself?! Today 9:49 AM i farted loud asf 258 393 15K del 2.6M

Rolo Tony @PoorOldRoloTony 1d When you're at the bottom of your father's rankings between you and your siblings, (don't worry. It can always change.) 7 245 4.5K 225K

annabelle 3: @oomfabelle • 1d ... 10 - Y'all i cant afford Amazon Prime so I'm watching Saltburn through this random persons clear door 9 188 6.6K 228K

tweet davidson @andykreed 1d when guys become dads they're sorted into one of these four houses like in harry potter DEWALT RYOBI RYOA RYO DOWALT RYC RYO Milwaukee makita DFUEL natila makita 1.6K 7.5K 69K 7.7M

RedditCFB @RedditCFB . 1d CCBB This can't be, we were reliably informed that college football is a southern sport. Sam Herder @SamHerderFCS· 1d States represented in the FBS and FCS national title games It just means more in the north WA MT ME ND OR MN ID NTH W. SB NY MG WY MT GT RI PA IA NE NY OH TT TL IN DE CC WV DC KS W MO KY NC TIN AZ OK NM AR SC GA AL MS LA TX EL AK 145 769 16K 1.6M

Sam Jeske @Sam_Jeske. 1d i will not let your email find me. i i will run. i will hide. 20 4.4K 22K 823K

Grip Bayless @talleyberrybaby 1d ... Why, as a hair, would you even wanna be ingrown. Like why are you doing that??? 163 12K 98K 2.7M

Trevor @Tokyo_Trev.1 1d ... Got a call from my landlord that he hasn't received rent for January. I made the payment on the 18th of December. Не is going to have a tough Jan 636 6.9K 115K 9.1M

$ Dan Toomey @dhtoomey 1d ... CE PRI $ first one of the year baybeeeee Dan Toomey 8:21 AM No worries if not! 2 2.7K 138K 84

Jenni @hashjenni 1d the FBI couldn't get this information outta me. ALI @_alinoman .1d What is the dumbest thing you did for love? 76 9.2K 34K 3.8M

Ransom Godard @FrenchDog... 14h ... This is what the average scene of dialogue in Maestro is like: Bradley Cooper: Yes! Yes! Why is six afraid of seven? Carey Mulligan: Oh, darling! I couldn't possibly know! I don't know six *or* seven! Bradley Cooper: No, you couldn't possibly! Heh. Well you see... Carey Mulligan: Yes? Bradley Cooper: It's because seven.. Carey Mulligan: Oh? Bradley Cooper: ...*eight* nine! Carey Mulligan: На! Oh my goodness. Isn't that something? Bradley Cooper: Yes, it is. 42 648 9,964 552K

Brandon Streussnig @BrndnStr... . 1d ... When I was 17 I worked as a grocery cashier and my bagger was a guy in his 40s and one day out of nowhere he just goes hey Brandon? Do you think everything will be ok? Like in life? Think about him all the time because i said yeah, of course, Dave but I think I was wrong? 50 1,167 26.2K 569K

Austin @adoptedhighway • 1d ... SEELEGA computer programmers basically just sat around for thousands of years until they invented computers 18 289 6,979 del 161K

ds00za @ds00za 1d Shazam but for weird noises at night. 63 4,438 38.7K del 1.2M

wargen @funeralpig 1d hey i know you're just having a little fun putting your sunglasses on your dog but can you please stop? it's a grotesque mockery of consciousness and it's twisting something deep inside of me into a horrible burning knot. this park is supposed to be for everyone to enjoy. 3 141 2,008 del 81K

absolutely insane comments 1d ... u/bartertownbeer 72d 1 1 85 45 33 S 63 NE 56 1 71 1 What is the fastest you have ever seen a new co-worker get fired? 84.9k 24.4k Share + SINGLE COMMENT THREAD VIEW ALL sjbluebirds 72d First day of work, a coworker asks for a short break and some space in a storage closet to put down his prayer rug. Was fired almost immediately. About six months later we were all laid off when the company went bankrupt paying out his discrimination lawsuit. 106 3,998 65.1K 1.9M

the hype @TheHyyyype 1d ... THE HYYYYPE Me: is prime his last name, or a title or honorific? Meaning, in a multiverse situation, would you refer to 5 different versions of him as optimus primes or optimuses prime? My girlfriend, introducing me to her parents: I told you he had an inquisitive mind 19 208 4,027 133K

lil stinker @superlameballs 1d ...  slami.....  and bebberoni... 4 284 2,937 182K

search Keefler on spotify @K... 21h ... got too high again last night Cancel Drafts she artichoke on my spinach til i dip 36 2,747 33.2K 1.3M

rare insults @insultsrare. 1d ... Janel Comeau @VeryBadLlama instagram: look at my new boyfriend twitter: | can't get a boyfriend reddit: my  boyfriend  boyfriend forbids me from going into the basement and has a sock drawer full of missing women's driver's licenses, AITA for being uncomfortable? the wedding is in three hours 83 2,383 43K 1.5M

Mike Townsend @townsendyes... 1d ... Does anyone remember the password to my office computer. And also a single aspect of how my job works. 86 6,879 70.2K 3.7M
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