31 of the Funniest Tweets from December 20, 2023

So THAT’S how the dishes get clean…
31 of the Funniest Tweets from December 20, 2023

Even Emmy-winners still get nervous. Despite spending 12 seasons drawing belly laughs out of a live studio audience, Two and a Half Men’s Jon Cryer told The New York Post that performing still grips him with “paralyzing fear beforehand.” Luckily, he said he was able to shake the nerves by the time cameras rolled on the set of NBC’s Extended Family, which he stars in alongside Abigail Spencer and Donald Faison of Scrubs fame. While the new sitcom will preview its goods on December 23rd, the show is set to officially premiere at the start of the new year. Cryer’s return to the (sound) stage comes eight years after Two and a Half Men’s concluded and a brief stint as Lex Luthor in DC’s television universe. Cryer noted that Extended Family was an opportunity he just “couldn’t pass up” and that “working out comedy in front of people is fun and valuable.”

Another actor clawing out of the depths of The CW is Riverdale’s Charles Melton, who is experiencing a meteoric rise thanks to his riveting performance in Todd Haynes’ melodrama May December. The actor found himself able to go toe-to-toe with Oscar winners Natalie Portman and Julianne Moore thanks to that teen soap he spent six seasons working on. Melton told i-D that having the opportunity to work with 91 directors on one show alone made it feel like Julliard. In a few months time, actors might be fighting to get on a show with time-traveling high schoolers and random musical numbers if it later affords them similar critical acclaim.

Over on the timeline there’s a healthy serving of laughs on this fine Hump Day. Today’s funniest tweets include those about a meal fit for an RPG, how Ryan Gosling fits into the MCU and the only place on Earth you can find happiness. 

President-Elect Toguro @Pre... 18h ... This and a black coffee is breakfast CAD Newport UNDERAGE BAJA BLAST SALE PROHIBITED BATT TRAJ8 Newport EXP Smoking Result in By Pregnant Total injury, Birth, And MOT quig Premature SURGEON GENERAL Women S WARNING May Mtn BAJA BLAST Dew Blast® - BAJA BLAST FLAVORED CIGARETTES BOLD & FLAVORFUL -NON-MENTHOL A PRODUCT OF PF MEMES CHINA BISTRO 89 3,171 22.7K 1.3M
A.J L @ShootTheJ_.20h ... Не look like he work the sound system at church Eddie Gonzalez @bans... 22h Craziest thing about this pic is... on that day... in that era... Не got a fit off 23 23 134 5,546 53K 2.9M
paula @paularambles.22h How it feels to be first to say happy birthday in a group chat and watch everybody else quickly send their desperate happy birthday!! like pathetic little sheep + 359,0K ... 1044 14,7K 26 5,466 92.9K 1.6M
Corey Danks @CoreyDanks 22h ... Sports NBC Sports @NBCSports. 1d What's the most iconic venue in all of sports? 75 5,434 40.5K 2.3M
dumb adult @__papa_. 1d ... The people at the vet are always like he didn't let us take his blood all accusatory but like he's a 12 pound cat and you're all trained human professionals??? Figure it out 159 2,554 59.7K 1.8M
Himberly @himbo_anonymous 16h ... That's literally just Nicole Kidman 30 1,303 25.2K 584K
dr. bitch @borzoilover47.23h (unaware i'm about to hit a new rock bottom) things can only get better from here right? 3 3.1K 12K 320K
good reddit @GoodReddit - 1d r/aves u/Reddit_Unfairness 8h Decided to only wear earplugs on my left ear to see how many raves it took before hearing loss was noticeable. Discussion/Question 41 751 35K 1.5M
reb @rebmasel . 23h we're so back  13 5.6K 27K 736K
mrs. glock @mylovedes2.2 22h ... the one thing that really pisses me off about a quiet place was getting pregnant in a world noise is deadly. why would do some shit like that? what about the apocalypse you makes you horny??? 208 4.6K 66K 3M
Jessye Norman VEVO @luxurytrash_- 1d ... Happy 43rd birthday Jake Gyllenhaal, whose last name's meaning is probably the reason he landed Brokeback Mountain SWEDISH ENGLISH gyllen hal X 10 / 5000 golden hole 1 136 2.2K 96K
autixcx @autixcx 21h black panther SCREENTIME ScreenTime @screentime.22h Ryan Gosling reportedly in talks to join the MCU in an unknown role via @DanielRPK MARVEL STUDIOS 40 2.1K 32K 874K
n + @decaygf . 1d ... i'm not stalking you i'm simply educating myself on your lore 43 4.6K 27K del 1M
i make beats t @DonDadaNYC-17h Black people in STEM >> Weed Twitter weis1000 @weis1000.1d No lighter gotta make use of what you got CC 0:14 34 1.5K 965K 18K
1984's George Whorewell @EwdatsGROSS.1 17h If you aren't happy single, you won't be happy taken. Real happiness comes from The Cheesecake Factory, not relationships 9 497 5.1K 327K
Washington Post TikTok Dad @davejorgenson 21h ... do the pharmacists at CVS know they are allowed to answer the phone 67 1.3K 25K 807K
daniel barnes @Danny8bit 2 2hh panera making the lemonade Historic Vids @historyinmemes.2d Tom and Jerry (1947) 23 AMM 50 6K 61K 2.6M
Crybaby Zay @crybabyzay 1d Y'all be in that line reciting ancient alchemy and incantations at 17 year old baristas fearlesslor @Fearlesslori__ 1d Chocolate cookie crumble crème frap made with heavy cream made with 8 pumps of white mocha instead of reg mocha! So good! 11K 169 99K 2.9M
Phillip Maciak @pjmaciak 1d Denis Villeneuve prays every night before he goes to bed that David Zaslav neither reads the Dune novels nor looks up their plot summaries on Wikipedia. Reel Updates @worldofreel . 1 1d Denis Villeneuve's DUNE: MESSIAH has already been greenlit by Warner Bros. A 2027 release date is being eyed (via @ThelnSneider) tinyurl.com/46bkk2rj 119 2.2K 35K 3.4M
wengel @wengelll 1d apple tv lovers never lose.. see what happens when you meet the 5 viewer quota! FILM UPDATES Film Updates @FilmUpdates. 1d 'The Buccaneers' has been renewed for a second season. THE BUCCANEERS 24 522 12K 762K
Hanif Abdurraqib @NifMuhammad 1d why does this look like promo material for a true crime podcast SN The Sporting News @sportingnews. 1d Angel Reese and Caitlin Clark are the 2023 Sporting News Athletes of the Year. READ: sportingnews.com/us/ncaa-basket... The Sporting News ATHLETES OF THE YEAR ANGEL REESE &CAITLIN CLARK 1 48 724 68K
RAISE APPLEBEE'S HELL NMOO NWNB PRAISE DALE Kristi Yamaguccimane @TheWapplehouse 1d When a guy bigger than me calls me Big Guy 18 70 1.8K 45K
Josh @exxhibitj 21h This what you eat in RPGs to gain health after you already used up all your potions and elixirs Brendan Cobbina @iamcobbina. 1d Late Lunch. 158 9.3K 93K 2.5M
Phillip Maciak @pjmaciak. 23h ... Denis Villeneuve prays every night before he goes to bed that David Zaslav neither reads the Dune novels nor looks up their plot summaries on Wikipedia. Reel Updates @worldofreel. 1d Denis Villeneuve's DUNE: MESSIAH has already been greenlit by Warner Bros. A 2027 release date is being eyed (via @ThelnSneider) tinyurl.com/46bkk2rj 107 2,143 33.2K 3.1M
danielle @graveyar... 21h ... I will tackle children at the Lego store to get this DiscussingFilm @Discu... 23h 4F A LEGO 'TWILIGHT' set is happening. Based on the Cullen house. (Source: 9to5toys.com/2023/12/19/ leg...) LEGO 49 5,456 39K 2.3M
jambon @cumtweetsdotcom 23h ... Need a gf who farts this much UNILAD KO Taylor Swift produces 138 tons of CO2 emissions in 3 months to see 'soulmate' Travis Kelce 25 1,432 23.9K 1M
phage @clubmoss_ 23h Most people don't realize how dishwashers actually work Kit 75 3,096 51.3K 2.2M
MJ @mm_jiselle 14h This game of thrones ass meal Brendan Cobbina @ia... 22h Late Lunch. 388 10.1K 123K 4.3M
Grovy @grovymango.1 10h ... Can't believe there are ppl snuggled up in bed with their loved one rn completely safe from the modern dating pool 69 4,387 42K du 994K
jiji @jijisblog . 19h Thinking about this kid that showed up on my fyp Reeping it B early xmas present for the youngest (their favourite thing apart from vaping) 53 1,944 30K 997K
+ manicsocratic @M... 1d ... Imagine body slamming someone in Waffle House and crashing through the floor to the toy aisle like redneck Tekken dane 1d ... I saw this in a fever dream 3309 WAFFLE HOUSE WAFFLE HOUSE Walmart 6040 Fake Handshake 264 17.6K 104K 3.1M
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