23 of the Funniest Tweets from December 4, 2023

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23 of the Funniest Tweets from December 4, 2023

Nicolas Cage is ready for his curtain call. Fear not, the Dream Scenario actor isn’t calling it quits on the family business all together. But the actor told Uproxx that he has about “three or four movies” left in him before he pivots to a smaller medium — the almighty boob tube. Inspired by a binge-watch of Breaking Bad, which the actor called “magnificent,” Cage said he wants to get into “other ways of expressing (his) acting” once he fulfills some pending contractual agreements. Will he be sent to the White Lotus? Perhaps one half of a True Detective duo? Maybe a trip to Fargo? Whatever the case may be, Cage’s inbox is probably already overflowing with pitches.

After his congressional reckoning, ousted representative George Santos is already exploring new career options himself. For starters, he’s tentatively agreed to a pay-per-view interview with button-pushing talk show host Ziwe, which seems like the most natural stage for him to tell a dozen more lies. But given his track record of fabulism, his desire to do the interview could be a lie in and of itself. He’s also taken to Cameo joining the likes of Jon Lovitz and The Naked Cowboy to sell personalized videos for $150 from the “former congressional icon.” While he has no current direct involvement other than his unprecedented rise to D.C. infamy, a film on Santos is in the works from HBO Films Veep EP Frank Rich based on a script by Bad Education writer Mike Makowsky. It’s only a matter of time before Ryan Murphy throws his hat in the ring with his own lurid interpretation of events. 

In the meantime, the timeline is getting the week jump-started with a new batch of hilarity. Today’s funny tweets include those about a win for reply guys everywhere, the intersection of science and Quarter Pounders and a way to solicit skin-care advice straight out of a horror movie.

Nina @ridiculouslyni 1d We got into an argument and he called me a peanut slinging bitch (I'm a flight attendant) oluwatise @maintishe 2d when did you realize your friend secretly hated you? 327 4,671 69.2K 3.6M

michael @FilledwithUrine-1 16h ... you sexy in a snug as a bug kinda way 15 1,574 11.2K 457K

HOWTO MAKE Ski Mask Shawty @haveyouh... 18h ... MONEY IN YOUR SPARE TIME Brisk tastes like somebody had 10 seconds to explain what iced tea is supposed to taste like and they said ummm for 6 of those seconds diddy1_ @Breeldasteppaa 2d Greatest can soda ever created Suave Degree MARACLEAR coras DO Rybrid NOURISHING LOTION LEMON - to LEMON - - LEMON CAR I I CA - LEMO BK LEMON = Line A ICED TEA B Brisk's ICED TEA LEMON - JUNE Lice LEMON Brisk ICED TEA Brisk NOM Keep of Janes ICED TEA

285 LaFrederic @285Slim 4h Somebody told you get yo ass up Imaoo AMBEZY @bezy_bby 18h Does anyone really sit in assigned seats at the movie theater?? 34 2,603 23K 920K

James @smokeismedicine 17h ... YYYEEEEEEEOOOUUUUCCCHHHHH! mail Online @Mail... .1d Daily Mail Online John Lennon's last words will be revealed for the first time by witness in new Apple TV documentary about the night the Beatle was murdered by gunman Mark David Chapman trib.al/OraJXe4 138 5,950 92.4K 5.6M

i like food @messedupfoods.6h ... IRA TOTAL . 117 1,993 23.2K 555K

good reddit @GoodReddit • 3h ... is there a way to boost my cats intelligence? i wanna know because my cat is actually a different level of stupid Advice this is the cat in question. his name is nuclear bomb 53 2,936 31.8K 821K

olive (real) @suncaverns 1d wikipedia pic of clairo makes her look like a scandinavian prime minister Clairo 1.3K 40K 41 1.6M

sword gf @punishedgarage • 7h there had to be a less terrifying way to do this TSTI i need skincare advice :( 1/5 83 2.3K 53K 1.1M

timmygami eyes @deliclit2 23h going thru my my dating history and seeing who needs to come back for All Stars 16 1K 12K 582K

BitchyGriff @BitchyGriff - 1 11h ... Just heard an australian person say ricotta and I want to fucking die 4 5 78 4K

Bleaux (but in cool font) @BleauxBabe 18h This is thee funniest fucking holiday tweet it's christmastribe (7-11) @THELIFEOFTRIBE tw // grinch I'm literally fucking shaking rn he took everything he even took my last can of who hash 1:28 PM 11/26/22 Twitter for iPhone 22.8K Retweets 348 Quote Tweets 153K Likes 46 16K 145K 3.3M

Dirk Fuckner @timerube 21h priests in ancient mesopotamia: Pop Base @PopBase 1d Dua Lipa and Romain Gavras have broken up after 8 months of dating, according to The Sun. 40 4.8K 72K 2.9M

cinnamon bun @notsofiacoppola 14h huge news for my buddy steve who always likes her pictures on instagram KOS DATA kos_data @kos_data 1d Dua Lipa is single again 243 4K 124K 7.4M

Gio @Palace_gio 1d ... Me after cooking this: 259 35 4.6K 26K del 1M

Glizzy McGuire @ToxicRocketeer. 19h ... McDonald's Institute of Technology lol tash @tashcoug 1d Now Chicago what is this M 2.1K 23K 28 823K

caitlin @hello__caitlin - 1 19h George Santos heading back to work tomorrow 6 763 21K 769K

Jane Schoenbrun @sapphicsp... 14h ... feel like shit just want her back BORDERS BOOKS .. MUSICCAFE 13 1,083 7,786 252K

furby hancock @furby_hancock-1 17h ... waiter: so how is everything? me: great! waiter: (disgusted) even war? 49 4,132 57.5K del 1.7M

Marcus Finch @ocmd73.12h ... Is this anything? Marcus Finch PATRON Movies that make me do a double take when I see Will Ferrell in the credits No likes yet 100% random bs CONSTANCE BY - ARTS - EMAY ON THEATERS HUSTLERS JENNIFER SPORTS JULILSTILES MIXEPALME MENU .CARD - booksmart - - - DECEMBER IMPREPATIVE - THE NEW HO - SEPTEMBER 13 - H DECEMBER K MATSHE 52 275 8,254 398K

Laura Hackett @HackettLaura 10h ... worst message i've ever received in my life Hey 08:36 Watched a film last night called Saltburn 08:37 It made me think of you 08:38 8 84 3,276 254K

i like food @messedupfoods-17h ... UNFORTUNATE SIGN OUTAGE DUNKIN' D NUTS - DUCKIN DONUTS Y 39 704 9,236 263K

timmygami eyes @deliclit.1d going thru my my dating history and seeing who needs to come back for All Stars 16 1,128 12.8K 605K
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