12 Groundbreaking Bits of Trivia Generated by a Revolutionary New Technology We’re Calling Artificial Ignorance

By:
12 Groundbreaking Bits of Trivia Generated by a Revolutionary New Technology We’re Calling Artificial Ignorance

We’ve been hard at work developing an algorithm that, far from mimicking human intelligence, is adept at imitating the depths of human ignorancestupidity and downright silliness. It is finally time to unleash our proprietary technology.

Click right here to get the best of Cracked sent to your inbox.

The 100-Year-Old Man Who Couldn’t Quit Claiming to Be Famous Dead People

John Frank Dalton made a name for himself by claiming to be famed (dead) U.S. Marshal Frank Dalton. After that was disproven by historians, he seamlessly switched to claiming to be (dead) outlaw Jesse James. That claim, made after he’d turned 100, caught on, and attempts have been made as recently as 2000 to prove or disprove it via DNA.

12 Groundbreaking Bits of Trivia Generated by a Revolutionary New Technology We’re Calling Artificial Ignorance

Source

Two Guys Robbed a Bank With Their Work Name Tags On

Two Australians working in Vail, Colorado, slapped together a half-assed plan to rob a bank. They put on masks, but left their entire work uniforms on before stealing $100,000, while yelling in their distinctive Australian accents. They spent the stolen (and easily traceable) cash all over the relatively small town, and even posed in pictures with their stacks of cash. The cops said it took them 10 minutes of work to find them.

12 Groundbreaking Bits of Trivia Generated by a Revolutionary New Technology We’re Calling Artificial Ignorance

Source

The One Time a Psychic Actually Assisted a Police Investigation, They Arrested Her

Aerospace facility worker Etta Smith had a random psychic vision after learning about the disappearance of a California woman on the news. Smith contacted police and told them about her premonition, giving them enough information to find the body of the missing woman. This being incredibly suspicious, they threw her in jail for four days — before they found the murderer, who had no evident or even conceivable connection to Smith. 

12 Groundbreaking Bits of Trivia Generated by a Revolutionary New Technology We’re Calling Artificial Ignorance

Source

The Highly Anticipated Three-Year Cruise Was Canceled (Because They Never Bought a Ship)

A three-year cruise that would make over 100 stops on all seven continents was canceled — or, as the company put it, “postponed” — two weeks before it was supposed to set sail. They blamed “unrest in the Middle East” for their inability to purchase a large enough ship in time. Meanwhile, some prospective passengers had sold their homes, knowing they’d be away on a multi-year journey.

12 Groundbreaking Bits of Trivia Generated by a Revolutionary New Technology We’re Calling Artificial Ignorance

Source

The Ribbed Newt Is a Walking Shiv

The Spanish ribbed newt has the unique ability to shift its ribcage in such a way that its bones pierce its own skin, secreting a poisonous substance, effectively transforming its body into a toxic prison shank.

12 Groundbreaking Bits of Trivia Generated by a Revolutionary New Technology We’re Calling Artificial Ignorance

Source

The BBC Committed Treason for No Discernable Reason

In 1982, during the Falklands War, the BBC got word that the British would be attacking the Falkland settlement of Goose Green, then held by Argentina, the following day. They broadcast a story about the upcoming surprise parachute attack, and the British Armed Forces were, understandably, cosmically pissed off. Luckily, Argentina thought it was deliberate misinformation, made no preparations for the attack whatsoever and were handily defeated.

12 Groundbreaking Bits of Trivia Generated by a Revolutionary New Technology We’re Calling Artificial Ignorance

Source

Gerald Ford: Not Exactly a Ladies’ Man

The only two presidential assassination attempts by women were both on Gerald Ford. He survived an assassination attempt by Manson acolyte Squeaky Fromme, and 17 days later, a second one by Sara Jane Moore. Both women later escaped prison 10 years apart, and even later, were released two years apart.

12 Groundbreaking Bits of Trivia Generated by a Revolutionary New Technology We’re Calling Artificial Ignorance

Source

Some Vultures Dye Their Hair During Their Midlife Crisis

Birds with plant-based diets tend to get more diverse coloring in their plumage, but birds who subsist on bone marrow often end up with very plain-colored feathers. Since coloring in birds often indicates dominance, the bearded vulture smears iron-rich dirt on its face and chest to get their badass reddish hue. They generally start this behavior around seven years old.

12 Groundbreaking Bits of Trivia Generated by a Revolutionary New Technology We’re Calling Artificial Ignorance

Source

Michael Jackson Wanted to Build a 50-Foot-Tall Mecha Jackson

Before his death, the King of Pop was kicking around plans to build a huge moonwalking robotic version of himself in the desert near Las Vegas. He had started scaling the idea down to a life-sized robot that would work the door at a Michael Jackson-themed casino.

12 Groundbreaking Bits of Trivia Generated by a Revolutionary New Technology We’re Calling Artificial Ignorance

Source

German Meth Chocolate

Meth and other amphetamines were integral to Germany’s war effort in World War II — it was included in soldiers’ rations, taken by non-combat political figures (including, famously, Hitler himself) and was sold in various forms in civilian grocery stores. It was particularly popular for housewives to eat meth-infused chocolate.

12 Groundbreaking Bits of Trivia Generated by a Revolutionary New Technology We’re Calling Artificial Ignorance

Source

The Unreadable Ancient Library

A private library of 1,800 papyrus scrolls was found preserved in ash in Herculaneum, a town decimated by the eruption of Mount Vesuvius. They can’t be unfurled, but they can be X-rayed — however, because they used carbon-based ink, the writing is currently indistinguishable from the carbonized papyrus itself. 

12 Groundbreaking Bits of Trivia Generated by a Revolutionary New Technology We’re Calling Artificial Ignorance

Source

The Soccer Star Who Can’t Quit Biting People

Luis Suárez is an elite soccer player who has three notable sections on his Wikipedia page: “First Biting Incident,” “Second Biting Incident” and “Third Biting Incident.” The first one earned him the nickname “The Cannibal of Ajax.”

12 Groundbreaking Bits of Trivia Generated by a Revolutionary New Technology We’re Calling Artificial Ignorance

Source

Scroll down for the next article

MUST READ

Forgot Password?