John Early Is Figuring Out How to Be Sincere

As the star of the sharp new indie ‘Stress Positions,’ the irreverent comic works in a more serious vein. He tells Cracked why he’s getting comfortable with being earnest — even if he’s scared everyone will think he’s pretentious

Authors
By
Published
Comments
Comments 0

29 of the Funniest Tweets from November 16, 2023

By:
29 of the Funniest Tweets from November 16, 2023

Next year, Jimmy Kimmel will return to host Hollywood’s biggest night. That’s right, the man who presided over the Moonlight and La La Land Oscars debacle will be back to make cynical jokes at the expense of the industry workers being honored and likely force Cillian Murphy to read mean Letterboxd reviews about Oppenheimer. Setting the tone early, the three-time emcee stated, “I always dreamed of hosting the Oscars exactly four times.” To that end, the late-night host will enter the Four-Timers Club alongside Oscar winners Whoopi Goldberg and Jack Lemmon. The 96th Academy Awards will be held on March 10, 2024.

Elsewhere in Hollywood, news has broken about one-fourth of the Fantastic Four. Not satisfied with just appearing in Game of ThronesStar Wars and The Last of UsPedro Pascal is potentially adding another franchise to his resume. The Emmy nominee is in talks to play Reed Richards, otherwise known as Mr. Fantastic, in Marvel’s upcoming attempt at adapting the comic yet again. Though pen has not been put to paper just yet, as the deal is contingent on Pascal’s shooting schedule, rumors have been swirling around the four actors Kevin Feige would enlist to portray the freaky family since the SAG-AFTRA strike. Pascal is the first bite of real casting news, but other names that have been discussed to round out the fantastic quartet include Napoleon’s Vanessa Kirby, Stranger Things standout Joseph Quinn and The Bear’s Ebon Moss-Bachrach. 

All the while, the timeline has been as fantastic as ever. Today’s funny tweets include those about the most bodacious door, someone in the club with old maiden-type shoes and a foolproof plan to get your significant other in a beautiful sweater.

Tom Zohar @TomZohar. 1d ... I need Jane Krakowski to play her FILM UPDATES Film Updates @FilmUpd... 1d A musical based on Gwyneth Paltrow's ski trial will debut in London this December. 29 538 12K 702K

Alec @killtheirpast. 22h ... Im about to answer this call mobile 6pm Cold Brew Remind Me Message Decline Accept 17 1,371 14.9K 608K

good reddit @GoodReddit • 1d ... r/3Dprinting 1d Join My attempt at designing and 3D printing Mickey Mouse. Any feedback is welcome! 86 1,183 32K 1.1M

uncle gworl @_uncle_gworl.1 1d shirley temple: andres @barbzforbernie• 1d kinda crazy how good crackers go with soup 5 814 8,597 450K

Des @dandysm0tt-15h When an anniversary post says we've had our ups and downs that means he cheated 66 3,065 39.8K du 830K

Guy Who Is About To Leave... 22h ... Me when zoomer coworker walks in 25 minutes late: what up slime I mean hello slime. 5 338 6,023 del 171K

Nate Trevelyan @Trevelyan... 1d ... gonna go crazy muted playing on FX at the bar or gym in 2 years 4F @Discus... 1d DiscussingFilm The first trailer for 'MADAME WEB' has been released. In theaters on February 14. 2c 2:44 7 750 12.1K 497K

false idols core @weeks 18h cicadaland Follow maurice 6d ago you should be at the club I can't go to the club I'll be in there saying shit like perchance and thrice 33K notes 27 5K 34K 790K

Pat @pattbb8 15h ... Came down to see who was in the Amazon with my mom when she was researching spiders right before she died 3 185 2.2K del 60K

derek guy @dieworkwear 15h ... slowly and secretly remove iron from his diet. he will become anemic and thus be cold all the time. you can then introduce him to nice little sweaters and outerwear Verduranti @Verduranti 16h Replying to @dieworkwear On these are cool but I have a question. My husband wears the tech bro usual - a T-shirt and jeans. And he runs HOT. Не won't wear a sweater unless it's-10F. What can he wear??? 43 522 9K 636K

odi aut amo @toutovlepo 1d Students submitting their final papers. thanks guys latin :( How Religion Manifests AP Latin Logistics Essay latin thing ALT 183 4.7K 78K 2.3M

La Coochie Versace @CoochieReloaded 3h I was eating my yogurt at my cubicle and this coworker was dead serious like you can't eat at the cubicles so I'm gonna ask you to go to the kitchen or put it away And I was like you literally just ate 3 donuts at yours, big and greedy and she walked straight to the HR office 21 223 96K 3.1K

milly @khruangbins.2 22h I remember when my 9th grade biology teacher told us that can burst open in her car and she thought someone shot her in the head and that when she touched the back of her head she thought the biscuit was part of her brain Kayla Ancrum @KaylaAncrum. 1d Things we need to reinvent the packaging for and my suggestions on how to fix it. 1. Biscuit cans. Anything is better than this. I've been shot at and that was less startling. This is the packaging style I think we should change biscuits to. 100%PURE GROUND CHUCK

KLOBB @KL0BB 1d ... god forbid if this door broke and you gotta make a new willy wonka curved fuckin door 71 1K 23K 310K

brady @itstonypizza. 5h ... when i ask if you wanna go out for drinks, this is what really mean INTERNATIONALE CONDENSED SOUP (BOUILLON) Campbell's Beef Broth Soup on the rocks. Campbell's Beef Broth right out of the can and onto the ice. Take it straight or add a dash of Worcestershire or lemon peel for a kicky switch Great way to cool off a hot day. It's great for dieters, too. Only 16 calories a 5-ounce serving. Don't even wait for a real hot day; start pouring now. Cheers! M'm! M'm! Good! 3 68 569 30K

YIMBYLAND @YIMBYLAND.4h Show some damn respect for our boys in green TY NEW YORK CITY DEPARTMENT OF SANITATION GRAYSON Tetrahedron @greenTetra_ 18h did you guys know that if you get promoted enough times as a garbageman in nyc they eventually make you wear a fake generals outfit with full regalia twitter.com/ NYCSanitation/... 12 98 1.5K 50K

Stephen A Smith @stephenasmith - 14m i've won...... but at what cost? Snoop Dogg @SnoopDogg.3h I'm giving up smoke. AFTER MUCH CONSIDERATION 6 CONVERSATION WITH MY FAMILY. I'VE DECIDED TO GIVE UP SMOKE PLEASE RESPECT MY PRIVACY AT THIS TIME. 117 1K 7.8K 362K

Nieltown @nieltown. 3h That's today!!! сто FRESH MUSTARD THURDAY 39K 11 178 1.2K

Scoob @ScoobertOnFilm. 19h People don't even say bless you anymore they just look at you like this SPOR MNKY 9 725 11K del 210K

Smitty Werbenjagermanjenson @ChiddenxNu... 5h ... My neighbors gonna be mad at me once that new André 3000 drops tonight because imma be playing along with him 152 4.1K 20K 892K

tractor @nudeobama 18h when I meet a cute dog and ask the owner what the name is and its Loki 98 664 14K 761K

bella @earlygirl_ . 1d barcelona is so funny because you'll be in a building older and more beautiful than the american mind can comprehend and it's just a uniqlo 56 1,650 30.7K del 911K

Cleotrapa @iamcleotrapa 16h ... Lyft driver farted this truck tf up before getting me! Ok my turn dirty! 33 80 843 32.8K

depths of wikipedia @depthsof... 1d ... perpetual tootsie WIKIPEDIA The The Tootsie UD Roll® Teatsie According to the company website, the original recipe calls for the inclusion of the previous day's batch, a graining process that Tootsie continues to this day. As such, there's (theoretically) a bit of Leo's very first Tootsie Roll in every one of the sixty four million Tootsie Rolls that Tootsie produces each day.(11] 292 3,640 55.4K 3.7M

Bradley Stern @MuuMuse 18h The Black Eyed Peas in 2003: Caitlyn Jenner @Caitly... . 21h Replying to @DonaldJTrumpJr l'll say it RETARTED! 38 2,672 46.1K 3.9M

basil bas @sundialbaz. 1d ... translated shakespeare can be so funny this reads like a twitter thread with you, W tight schedule. OTHELLO and DESDEMON RODERIGO Iago. IAGO What do you have to say, noble friend? RODERIGO What do you think I should do? IAGO Go to bed, and sleep. RODERIGO I'm going to go drown myself. MODERN TEXT 52 9,036 48.5K 966K

virgomama @_thatsmena 1d ... Why is my Jamaican coworker bringing pumpkin pie to the party ? If she don't jerk that fucking chicken. 204 5,761 41.4K 3.1M

Brokey McNiggerson @UGRebr... 1d ... what could he have possibly done to deserve this marz/charlie @thepIan... . 2d do you guys like my friend's calico critter that she puts blunts out on 26 3,420 50.8K 2M

MostDeaf @SnoozeActive 12h ... Italian PE teacher explaining long jump. Dua Lipa Gallery @galleryo... 1d just dua lipa 219 10.5K 141K 11.7M
Scroll down for the next article

MUST READ

John Early Is Figuring Out How to Be Sincere

As the star of the sharp new indie ‘Stress Positions,’ the irreverent comic works in a more serious vein. He tells Cracked why he’s getting comfortable with being earnest — even if he’s scared everyone will think he’s pretentious

Authors
By
Published
Comments
Comments 0
Forgot Password?