35 of the Worst Things Therapists Have Said to Their Patients

‘You want to marry your dog’
35 of the Worst Things Therapists Have Said to Their Patients

Fortunately, therapists exist to help us manage our mental health. Unfortunately, therapists are human beings like the rest of us, which means they’re not exempt from being weird as hell. The old joke about therapists needing therapists more than the rest of us seems more real than ever, and explains why one person’s therapist started rambling about Pizzagate mid-session, or why another therapist was involved in a riveting game of Candy Crush as their patient was crying. 

To that end, these patients left the couch and immediately went to Reddit to share the downright heinous, unethical advice they’ve gotten from their so-called trained experts. If a therapist has ever suggested that you should marry your dog, then get ready to commiserate. 

Napotad . 2y Saw therapist for depression, gave me written homework and said try to be positive. Thanks, I'll try to fly while I'm at it too. ... 31
Emmalyn_Wood . . 2y Не didn't say anything. But while I was crying, he was playing Candy crush on his phone. ... 41
Flor_tx3 . 2y I know you think you're in pain, but stop with the drama. I have severe depression and borderline disorder. ... 5
Napieras . 2y Well you're an only child and most of you guys are spoiled brats which probably explains a lot of it.
cosine5000 . 2y A therapist told me their opinion of another patient, someone I know and have serious issues with, I never went back after that. ... 154
AJBIsHere . 2y Do you think the reason people don't tell you to just shut up is because you have a stutter? ... 21
Weird-Thread . 2y Не picked up some other patient's aptitude test and said You seem dumber than you look. I was bewildered how getting 18/20 answers correct was dumb. ... 43
lashley694 . 2y Told psychiatrist I had a fear of death. She asked if I smoked and I did at the time. She goes oh well, you're definitely going to die Thanks, all better now. ... 39
ethicalexplorer. 2y She said the anus doesn't have lubrication, so anal (gay) sex is not natural. The nerve! I was trying to figure out my sexual identity and that definitely didn't help. ... 2
irmari01 . 2y I had to go to therapy after my gran was murdered and I saw her body. So I am sitting at therapy, bawling my eyes out as a 14 year old. And this woman tells me to stop crying because it is enough now.
SharplyFrantic . . 2y Не didn't say anything, he yawned. ... 124
KungFu-omega-warrior • . 2y I wouldn't think too much into it. You're just tired. Go home and get good sleep. ... 414
llexAquifolia . . 2y I shit you not Have you heard about Pizzagate? The things they're doing to children... ... 51
HarshlyHanna . 2y Video games are addictive and dangerous...in a very critical, negative tone. ... 166
dy74n . 2y oh how interesting. I think you may be in the spectrum 7 mins into our first talk. ... 4
SquilliamFancySon95 . 2y My therapist chewed me out and told me I should be ashamed of myself for wasting her time. ..All because I didn't check in 5 minutes early. Obviously I stopped seeing her after that. ... 46
ellaayatess ОР в 2y i'll go first: a therapist in training once told me maybe you're not depressed- maybe you're just hangry ...because i also have an eating disorder... it was the first and last time i saw her ... 590
Anitaih . 2y all the problems you have all stem from exam stress I was 13, it was nowhere near any exams, I had a lot of childhood trauma and she dismissed me. I then got worse and worse. Genuinely her fault for a lot that happened ... 60
bluebirdware12 . . 2y Have you tried not thinking about it? Asked in response to my explaining that fears of death and my own mortality were keeping me up at night. Gee, why didn't I think of... not thinking about it? ... 2
Relevant-Door1453 . 2y Very late to the party here but... My therapist told me that I had to stop coming to see her as I was obviously using her as a substitute for my (estranged) mother. This was maybe our third session? ... 2
Theaddybaddy . 1 2y one time I had a therapist who tried to tell me I wanted to marry my dog. all I told her was how I had a very loving relationship with my dog and he was my favorite thing in my life... she proceeded to go on a 10 minute rant about how she wants to marry her dog and how I want to marry my dog.. never went back lol ... 1.9k
coarsing_batch . . 2y My therapist told me that all of my mental health problems were because I couldn't see. Never mind that I was born without eyes, and the mental health problems started way later in life. It definitely had to be because I was blind. ... 11
pinkyhex . 2y he doesn't sound like a good person I don't want to talk about him in reference to my ex. And while yes the first portion is true, I really needed help getting over him and that line just shut me down and I didn't have any desire to talk with her on it ... 17
gouwbadgers . . 2y During the first appointment, she asked me what my future life plans were, and I told her. When she commented that I didn't mention having children, I told her that children were not in my life plan. She then told me my boyfriend (now husband) will leave me because no man wants a woman who won't give him children. ... 1k
pumpkinpot . 2 2y Sounds like the only time your parents cared about you was when you were playing hockey. So since you can skate do you want to join my friend's roller derby team? They're always looking for more girls, here is some information ... Never went back. ... 2.1k
jaredmogen . 2y On my intake form I mentioned that I have gained a lot of weight over the last few years and the first thing they said to me was You don't look like you've gained a lot of weight, I was expecting to see an obese person! ... 4
mylifeisathrowaway10 2y Not to me but he told my mom I couldn't be trusted near sharp objects because I might have an autism meltdown and stab her in her sleep. Yes because meltdowns totally lead to premeditated murder. ... 267
hgli . 2y I have an uncommon name and combined with my social anxiety it caused me lots of problems growing up. She said, You should be proud of your name, you should stand up and I am Howard and I am proud to be Howard. My name is not Howard. ... 17
Maraidlg . 2y I had very debilitating emetophobia (fear of vomit) and OCD tied to it and she literally said to me why are you even scared of it anyway? I had surgery on my abdomen once and vomited every day and it was fine Like Jesus lol GOOD FOR YOU ... 2
Personal_Conflict346 . 2y Lol my therapist fell asleep while I was talking to him. Of course I left and left him a message saying I wouldn't be coming back. Не then refused to even acknowledge that he did anything and said he was very disappointed in me for not continuing therapy. ... 10
MangoPeyote . 2 2y I was just resting my eyes. Не fell asleep on me in two sessions. Sorry if my life and issues aren't exciting enough to keep you on the edge of your seat. When I cancelled the third session, he had the gall to phone and ask me why. ... 1.9k
2guyshangingoutnaked . 2y Therapist: What do you think happened in your life to turn you bisexual? Me: What do you mean? Therapist: Sexuality is a learned behaviour, often when people turn out gay, trans or in your case, bisexual, it is because of a certain event in their past. Me: ... I made the logical choice of not going back to that quack.
tragiccity . 2y It wasn't all that terrible, but she knew my mom professionally (mom is a mental health provider) and she spent the ENTIRE session talking about how amazingly wonderfully awesome my mom is. I mean, I think my mom's great too, but that's not why I was seeing a therapist. When I told my mom about it afterward, she was like Yeah, so-and-so's not that great of a therapist. Um, you couldn't have told me that beforehand? We still laugh about it, though. ... 1.5k
Metalhart00 . 2y I had a therapist tell me she wouldn't listen to me talk about my paranormal experiences anymore because they were causing black UFOs to hover outside her window. She had previously mentioned she believed in UFOs and that they were literal, biblical demons. Not ships with demons in the. But they were the demons. I'm an amateur paranormal researcher and a UFO enthusiasts and I was like ohh, this is how I sound to most people. ... 812
SoVerySleepy81 . . 2y She asked me, do you feel stupid for missing all of the signs that your husband was cheating? Now I can see bringing that up a bit down the road, but it was literally two weeks after I found out. I wasn't sleeping, couldn't eat, was shaking constantly, dry heaving daily. I was a fucking mess and that question fully fucked with my head. ... 11
Scroll down for the next article

Must Read

VIRAL ON CRACKED

A WEEKLY
NEWSLETTER OF
JOKES + TRIVIA

Forgot Password?