30 of the Funniest Gifts Kids Asked Mall Santas For

‘All I want for Christmas is ADHD’
30 of the Funniest Gifts Kids Asked Mall Santas For

Though toy commercials would have you believe otherwise, sometimes all a child wants for Christmas is ADHD. Or a vacuum. Or an extensive variety of pickles. At least, that’s what kids have asked to receive from the mall Santas of Reddit. It makes sense, honestly. Kids are enamored with things that are normal to adults. And in terms of the pickles, I think we can all admit that they’re good as hell and should be on everyone’s Christmas list.

To that end, here are more wishes kids whispered into the ears of their mall Santas, and while every single one of them is a head-scratcher, most of them are also incredibly wholesome. 

Simulated_Narwhal . 3y After waiting two hours in line my daughter asked Santa for a hot dog. ... 33k
qbox11 . 10y This year, I've had 3 kids say they want better bladder control... ... 351
Punkidive . . 10y My four year old daughter said rather loudly, want a man! of course she was referring to a minecraft Steve figurine but they didn't know! ... 398
chlsEp0ttr.1 10y My niece asked Santa for a snail. ... 3
zombiezzrule. 10y elf here! weirdest thing asked for was probably a gun to stop the monsters in his bed ticking his feet at night ... 5
Eye_Doc_Photog 3y When I was 5 years old (49 years ago) I asked a Santa in JC Penny's at the time for a real lawn mower, the kind that my dad uses. They had me hold a microphone up to my mouth. My answer (along with every other kid I presume) was broadcast throughout the whole store. I can still hear the laughter from the adults. ... 989
DavelsMyDrummer . 3 Зу Yesterday the big sister asked for a pet mouse, the little sister asked for a snake. ... 1.1k
wls123 . 10y My six year old grandson asked Santa for smoked bacon. ... 6
rothmaniac . 3y Not the weirdest, but my favorite thing I have heard a kid ask for. At my daughters preschool, there was a Santa. Kids were asking for the usual things, like toys and unicorns. One little girl goes up. You can tell she is thinking really hard. She asks for 2 rolls of tape. Dream big kid! ... 2k
BreatheMyStink . 3 3y I remember hearing the girl in front of me in line when I was at the mall as a kid say she wanted potatoes. I hated potatoes at the time, so I was repulsed. ... 244
deepsoulfunk . 3y A piece of toast. ... 13.1k
AntiJoker . 1 10y Well when I was waiting in line for my cousin to take a picture with him, I heard some kid say he wants a vacuum. Не also went into full on detail with it also, which was pretty entertaining. ... 434
taydin . 3y My 9 yr old kid asked for lightbulbs. I am sure Santa wasn't expecting that. ... 2.5k
Pencilowner . : Зу My brother asked for sweet pickles and a Piggin' String. Не ended up with about 8 jars of pickles and 4 or 5 Piggin' Strings because when anyone asked that's what he said he wanted. ... 62
meghonsolozar.1 10y My son asked for a leaf blower (he was a big fan of gardners). Santa just gave me a look and said okaaaay ... 4
kevfucious g 9y I was a mall Santa sometime in the late 90s. After I asked one little girl what she wanted for Christmas, she answered nonchalantly, a dildo. I thought I must have misheard and asked, What was that? She repeated louder, A dildo! I tried to conceal my snickering by ho ho hoing and said, Oh... uhhh... I don't know if Santa has any of those! Then she told me that I should go to Toys R Us because I could get dolls of all the Rugrats characters there, including Tommy's brother Dil. A Dil doll. ... 1.7k
the _kraken . 9y I wasn't a mall Santa, but I was one of the 'helpers, aka photographer and salesman. One time a little girl asked for boobies as big as mommy's. That was choice. ... 2.5k
IAmWholAmMeantToBe . 3y A kid said,All I want for Christmas is ADHD. In my head I was like, Why would you ask for that? Не looked innocent as frick and I asked Is that all you want? And he smiled and said, Yes! And he walked away. ... 44
rosiejames73. 3y My brother asked for Minecraft once. Pretty innocent. Only the santa misheard him Не thought he said Mein Kampf ... 266
Demireius . 10y  The first time I was brought to a mall santa, I believe I was like 2 or 3 years old, apparently I said pork chops when he asked me what I wanted for Christmas. After that, pork chops were Christmas dinner for every single year without fail. ... 595
opinionatedtay . . 3y When I was ~3 years old, the mall Santa asked me what I wanted for Christmas and I gave him a PERFECTLY reasonable answer: purple. ... 66
Daliniues 10y My friend was a mall Santa and one day he was sick so he had me fill in. Honestly there are a lot of kids asking for weird things, but this one kid looked me in the eye and asked for a bushel of dead squirrels. Не was probably six years old. Don't even know how he knew the word bushel. ... 1.6k
tappytapper . 3y My brother once asked for a tiny broken thing, when Santa looked to my mother for guidance she explained he likes fixing things. ... 63
BBQSauceOnMyTitties_ . 3y I was dressed as Santa for an event in a local florist store a couple of weeks ago. A kid asked me if I was alive when Hitler was around and if he was on the naughty list. I said he was right at the top. ... 37
ChannelSERFER . 10y My sister asked a mall santa for pickles and black olives for christmas when she was 7. The look he gave my mom was priceless. ... 777
fluberbucket . 9 9y Not a mall santa, but I had an obsession with walrus' when I was younger and I asked santa for a walrus. Не just looked really confused and moved on to one of my brothers. ... 261
masochisticminx . 3y My 3 year old son asked Santa once for a baby rhino Santa told him that The baby rhinos mama would be very sad to lose her baby though Then my son said, okay, well l'll take the mama too, maybe she can sleep in my moms bed ... 3.7k
thamayorr . 1 10y I used to work as an elf for our Santa, taking pictures and managing the line. One kid asked for a bag of paperclips and some green paint, to this day I have no clue what he planned to do with it. ... 129
The_Calico_Jack . 3y My uncle was a Santa and he told me that one year a kid asked for a coffee maker because he wanted to start his own Starbucks coffee stand instead of a lemonade stand. Apparently business was not very good as a lemonade stand but he noticed a lot of adults drink coffee, so he'd make coffee. That kid is probably a millionaire now. ... 22.8k
LibraryGal 10y My four year old niece asked for an onion and then cackled maniacally. ... 214
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