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30 ‘90s Things That Thankfully Stayed in the ‘90s

Trust us — the wave of ‘90s nostalgia is just cherry picking the acceptable stuff

30 ‘90s Things That Thankfully Stayed in the ‘90s

November 10, 2023

“You, you and you… Come with me. The rest of you can stay right where you are.”

That was our impression of a time traveler who landed in 1999 with the mission of bringing ‘90s nostalgia to the 2020s. He cherry-picked dial-up internet and Saved by the Bell, but… Oh god, how did “I’m too sexy for my cat” get here, too?!

30

If there was one cut that defined the '90s, 1990 92 1995 199 it was the Rachel. 1998 1999 1990 1991 1992 1993 1994 1995 1996 1997 1995 1996 1997 1998 One way 1993 hairstylist 1994 estimates that 1999 40% of her mid-90s clients 1995 992 1993 wanted that Rachel look. 1991 1992 1993 1994 1995 1996 1997 1998 1999 NOW YOU KNOW: THE '90s CRACKED.COM — Source

29

In the '90s, we 198 wore stupidly- 1991 1992 1999 1990 199 oversized jeans. 97 1998 1999 N5 1996 1997 And if you've 1992 202 got 1001 $300, 1997 1995 you can buy them now. 1993 1991 1993 1994 1995 1996 1997 1999 NOW YOU KNOW: THE '90s CRACKED.COM — Source

28

Crime Dramas

In the '90s we 994 1995 15 1992 1993 1994 watched crime dramas 1996 199 199 like 1990 Diagnosis: Murder. 1999 1991 1992 1993 1994 1995 1996 1997 will 1000 PART And Jake and the Fatman. 1998 1999 1997 Because there's nothing more 1995 entertaining than formulaic 1993 crime-of-the-week bro dramas. 991 1992 1993 1994 1995 1996 1997 1998 1999 NOW YOU KNOW: THE '90s CRACKED.COM — Source

27

Beverly Hills, 90210

Beverly Hills 90210 spanned the decade, 996 airing from 1990 - 2000. 1002 1002 1004 1005 1006 100 1485 1997 1998 19HR 1990 1991 In one fell swoop it 1997 1998 1999 pioneered the 1991 teen soap 1996 1997 1994 1995 drama and spawned a 1992 1993 small army of 1995 copycats. a and 1991 1999 CRACKED.COM NOW YOU KNOW: THE '90s — Source

26

Miss Cleo

Miss Cleo wasn't Jamaican, named Cleo, or toll-free. 100 EAT TING ME? Unlike her clients, Youree Dell Harris avoided any charges. She died of cancer at 53. CRACKED.COM — Source

25

The Hamster Dance was created to win a bet. THE HAMPSTER DANCE dance the night away Art student Deidre LaCarte created the website in a bet over who could get the most views on a site. Gonna go out on a limb and say she won. CRACKED.COM — Source

24

Skydancers were recalled in 2000. 8.9 million were recalled after about 150 reports of injuries, from eye injuries to facial lacerations to a broken rib. CRACKED.COM — Source

23

Pogs

Pogs were a rip-off of the Japanese game Menko. Menko's been popular since the 1600s, travelling to Hawaii when Japanese people imigrated in the early 20th century. CRACKED.COM

22

Sea-Monkeys

Sea-monkeys are actually brine shrimp. THE LIVE Inc. ES Sea-Monkeuse OCEAN-ZOO The World's Only Include Port E TIME JIME Institut Sea-Monkeys Life Parch OCEAN-ZOO The Morid's Only Instant Pits! Commenteed to adidas The species (a cross-bred version of brine shrimp) doesn't exist in nature. They breath through their feet and grow a second eye in maturity. Gross. CRACKED.COM — Source

21

CRACKED I'M TOO SEXY FOR MY CAT RIGHT SAID FRED BUDD PUK Never listen too closely to this song, which is really a bleak portrait of self-defeating narcissism, but this pet-owner relationship is even better left unexplored. — Source

20

CRACKED NEW KIDS ON THE BLOCK HAD A BUNCH OF HITS, CHINESE FOOD MAKES ME SICK P LFO M LIN This summer jam reads like Jason Mendoza attempting a stream-of-consciousness exercise. — Source

19

CRACKED SWEET LIKE A CHIC-A-CHERRY COLA SAVAGE GARDEN Mr. Garden has a very different relationship to Cherry Coke than we do. — Source

18

CRACKED WE KISSY-KISS IN THE REAR VIEW BUSH We let Gavin Rossdale get away with a lot in the '90s just because he looks like that, including actual baby talk. — Source

17

CRACKED BLACK, WHITE, RED, BROWN, FEEL THE VIBRATION MARKY MARK AND THE FUNKY BUNCH YEYYORK The I don't see color vibe is bad enough, but there's a key color missing there, and if you know Wahlberg's history, it's... glaring. — Source

16

CRACKED PURE BLACK PEOPLE, MAN, THAT'S ALL I MAN KNOW SNOW Dear white dudes: 1) Never say this under any circumstance. 2) Definitely not right before admitting you come from Toronto. — Source

15

30 ‘90s Things That Thankfully Stayed in the ‘90s — Source

14

30 ‘90s Things That Thankfully Stayed in the ‘90s — Source

13

THIS CANDY TREAT LETS YOU FRENCH-KISS JAR JAR BINKS. dioc I CANDY JPS Binks ARS WARS STAR ORICAN I adidas We're assuming it tastes like thinly-veiled racism. CRACKED.COM — Source

12

CRACKED.COM APRIL O'NEIL WILL SHOW YOU A GOOD TIME. Hey, do you remember that episode of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles where April was a streetwalker? Neither do we, but that didn't stop Playmates Toys from releasing this Ravishing Reporter action figure, complete with detachable skirt. — Source

11

GO TO THIRD BASE AND BEYOND, WITH THIS BUZZ LIGHTYEAR FUNTIME TUMBLeR! Comment de OF NO BPA ING 400 - - The version that's currently available for sale has the straw on the other side, but reviewers confirm that with a firm twist, you can enjoy Buzz as pictured. CRACKED.COM http://www amazon.com/Zak-Designs-Lightyear-Funtime-Tumbler/dp/B004B5B26G — Source

10

CRACKED.COM OREO BARBIE DIDN'T LAST LONG ON THE SHELVES. Oreo Barbie, born in 1997 from a cross-promotional partnership between Mattel and Nabisco, came in both white and black versions. You can tell every person involved was white because nobody knew that MA Oreo is a derogatory OREO term in the African American community for a black person who is ORE white on the inside. — Source

9

Collectible Bubbles Beanie Babies CANT SINCE 1 I 24 No once doint - ready Jon run away by - ml - In the late '90s and early 2000s, Beanie Babies were all the rage. People were willing to pay huge amounts, with some even going for six figures. But eventually, the market cooled off, leaving many people with a lot less than they had invested. CRACKED — Source

8

Pogs

Collectible Bubbles Pogs Pogs were incredibly popular for a little while, but so many companies started making them-and the designs weren't very good-that the bubble burst. CRACKED — Source

7

Collectible Bubbles a JO I ESPRS 00 topes e A Sports cards - The worth of a lot of collectibles from the '80s and '90s, like sports cards, has gone way down since it was at its highest in the early '90s. So much for pop culture ephemera as investment vehicles. CRACKED — Source

6

CRACKED.COM Lost Tropes Going postal After a series of incidents during the '80s, '90s comedy was full of mailmen just losing it and shooting up people. You know, before shootings got a bit too real for laughs. — Source

5

GRACKED COM Lost Tropes Extreme '90s anti-heroes. How badly has this aged? Just ask Rob Liefeld, who has become a joke for his radical characters with bloated muscles, childishly designed weapons, and, erm, suits full of pouches. Pouches are rad! — Source

4

Kid Me: This is the greatest show of all time!! Adult me: ....why did i watch this... CRACKED.COM — Source

3

Yep! I'm the guy who bought their first album. Smash mouth In 1997, SMASH MOUTH were surprisingly edgy, with tracks such as F**K IT LET'S ROCK After their 1999 follow-up made them known as The SHREK band, this quietly migrated toward the back of the CD cupboard. CRACKED.COM — Source

2

SUPER TRENDY HAIRDOS (FROM ANY DECADE) JON BON JOVI www.h LOOK RIDICULOUS NOW GRACKED.COM — Source

1

Car Stereos

CRACKED.COM HIGH WATTAGE CAR AUDIO SYSTEM THE DISTRACT YOU FROM THE OTHER DRIVERS, CONTRIBUTE TO HEARING LOSS, MAKE CAR PARTS BUZZ, AND NO ROOM TO TRANSPORT ANYTHING ELSE SOUND SYSTEM.

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