28 of the Funniest Tweets from the Week of October 23, 2023

This is perfect Rodney Dangerfield cosplay
28 of the Funniest Tweets from the Week of October 23, 2023

It’s been a year since Elon Musk purchased Twitter, and during his tenure, he’s tried his absolute best to ruin the funniest app to ever exist. He renamed it to “X” (we will never call it that) and scrubbed any remnants of bird-named features in favor of terms with no chance of gaining brand recognition. He’s had advertisers leave left and right thanks to his ridiculous ideology, tech glitches and general incompetence. And he’s removed a slew of fully-functioning features that people actually used just because nobody had him in their Twitter Circles. On top of all of that, the website is declining in value every month. 

Luckily, one thing that has been persistent — as well as kept many users on the website — is having a place to riff and fire off jokes (often at Musk’s expense). This week’s round of laugh riots include a breakfast other countries should rightfully make fun of, democracy powered by hatred and a lizard that belongs on the Fogo de Chão menu.

Ash @SantanaelChan. 19h I came home to my little sister staring at a photo of Mike from Breaking Bad. She says that she's studying for a Chemistry test and that Mike is there to judge her if she goes on her phone. 2023 72 2,837 25.4K 522K
Josh Gondelman @joshgondel... 2h ... I used to work at a job where we could never decide on music we all enjoy to to listen to during lunch, so instead we just picked something awful that everyone hated equally, which kind of feels like how we ended up with the new Speaker of the House. 5 39 611 18.6K
beetle moses @beetlemoses.2 20h ... @BEETLEMOSES I WONDER IF THAT MOVIE IS ANY GOOD HOOD 100% CLASSIC 1/2 my peenus hort Iloved it! :-) - tight_5_tony -Bob Disneyshill 87,091 likes 85 3,280 48.5K 868K
scott @yo_scoot.22h ... Linkedln in https://www.linkedin.com > jessi-rih... Jessi Rihanna - Unemployed - Chipotle Mexican Grill Brooklyn, New York, United States Unemployed Chipotle Mexican Grill About. I LOVE DOING COKE! Especially at work. Experienced, brilliant, and fascinating. I hate working and | refuse to pretend. I need a job to have a roof over... 1 160 1,801 86.6K
@messedu..... 3h ... messed up foods full american breakfast 132 206 3,060 142K
Jackson Frank @jackfrank_jjf - 16h All you can do is tip your cap at posting like this Jackson Frank @jackfrank_jjf 6m Sixers offense looks quite stagnant for a team that talked about ball and player movement all summer 14 17 91 del 3,469 Gerry Davis @ThoughtsByGerry It's because of liberals like you unfortunately 8:31 PM 10/26/23 from Earth 25 Views 48 157 3,423 117K
VOIDFILL @VOIDFILL3000.1 17h ... Void VIVI Dr. Gay @Coochiebone Bragging to some 24 year old on Tinder that I'm the reason Chuckie Cheese carries Narcan 1 157 1,895 51.1K
Invis @invis4yo 15h ... me going to bed on an empty stomach bc i was too lazy to cook for myself 204 22.5K 112K du 3.4M
Ben Rosen @ben_rosen 15h ... i asked my wife where she was going, she said five nights at freddys. i said have fun at the movie, she said what movie? 65 4,797 42.5K 1.1M
RAISE APPLEBEE'S HELL NMOO NONS PRAISE DALE Kristi Yamaguccimane @TheWapplehouse 18h ... just found this in my camera roll and have no clue why I made it 85 99 1.4K 51.2K
Big Tucson Dad @BigTucsonDad 16h They are preparing for war via mounted battle against golf courses across the south west Russ McSpadden @PeccaryNotPig 12/20/21 Sometimes raccoons ride on javelinas... : Jeff Davis 7 440 6.6K 316K
Comrade Sisko @Pinko69420 18h PHOTOS: BUENA VISTA PICTURES DISTRIBUTION sephiramy the reason Michael Caine and Tim Curry are so good in their respective Muppet movies is that Michael Caine treats the Muppets as fellow actors, and Tim Curry treats himself as a fellow Muppet discuss emmaubler No, no need to discuss your analysis is spot on. 21 1.9K 13.5K 197K
Kei$ha @GlamazonJayyy • 1d Even the horse know they got that shit on! Cornbread Mafia @Soulful1865 - 1d Black America, The Modern Day Black Cowboy, fashion and extravagant culture. 100 C 0:21 29 4.1K 28K 930K
Cartoons Hate Her! @CartoonsHateHer. 1d This is himbo mode rizz and if she doesn't appreciate it she doesn't deserve this treasure of a man Axe @westernunion2k.2d What do you study International relations Very fascinating How are international relations these days Wym? Sent Are they good? Bad? 539 34 650K 14.8K
staid @staidindoors 1d Girlfriend says there isn't room for my 8 ft Daredevil (2003) Affleck banner in the living room. Do I leave her?????? DAREDEVIL 2.14.03 lith MARVEL 1204 34 33 400 19K
dr. olympia kiriakou @thescrewballgrl . 1 1d i don't want celebrities to be relatable, i want more of this The Independent @Independent • 1d Goldie Hawn reveals that she met 'aliens' in her 20s who 'touched her face' indy100.com/celebrities/go... CONCORD DEDIA CONCO ORDIA 17 930 14.3K 540K
toni collette's instagram account stan account 1d ... Hate going to gay Halloween parties what do you mean you're Ann Dowd in Hereditary 3 66 963 44.4K
John Frankensteiner @JFrankensteiner 16h I hope Colbert knows that John Carpenter voluntarily leaving his couch to hang out is basically American knighthood John Carpenter @TheHorrorMaster. 18h There are a few things worth dressing up for, and Colbert is one of them. #colbert LAT SHO 802 13 12K 497K
beef clapton @thetrompwner 1d ... i would love to fry him in a big cast iron with onions and peppers Science girl @gunsnrosesgirl3 - dd This red tegu lizard (Salvator rufescens) C 16 618 11.3K 640K
ahmad @uhhhhmad 1d ... I have that shirt too kinda 7 332 5.9K 144K
buttball @imniceandsmart 1d the lululemon employee after i decline being helped for the 6th time 12 361 7.7K 257K
Rose Dommu @rosedommu - 5 5h Me buying a pair of shoes with Klarna Pop Base @PopBase 14h Taylor Swift now owns 80% of her discography. 2 368 8K 391K
MODEST MOUSE Axe @westernunion2k-23h r/whatcarshouldlbuy 2d Join Is it better to buy a used car nowadays or just kill myself? 23 3,476 24.8K du 520K
/١-- @lovesickdoe. 18h how i look when i say omw ROG 58 24.3K 660K 4.6K
Jane Remover Updates @holzawn 18h finn and jake: help us!!!! The ice king trapped us and we're stuck!!!! Princess bubblegum: CG 0:18 7 514 4.7K 102K
toni @tinyangelette 22h when u get so high u start to forgive ur dad 31 1K 6.2K du 191K
a @aallleeexxxxxx1 - 14h ... r/lorde u/thenowthatisnot . 3h This is my favorite t... Elton John would love to do something with Lorde nzherald.co.nz 5 Share 83 + BEST COMMENTS -xBadlion 2h 1 Award I thought he was gay? 5 111 2.8K 78.9K
The Sigma Female @The_sigma_fem ! 5h justforthedead Follow MICHAEL MYERS WAS 21????????????? justforthedead Follow he should've been at the clubbbbbb........ 10 612 5.2K 62K
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