13 Funny Jokes and Bits About Ghosts
Boo! Were you scared? Probably not, but do you know what’s actually scary? Ghosts. Whether you believe in them or not, the ghastly hauntings from those who have shuffled off this mortal coil provide a creepy creative well to draw from. The result is some comedians even using their own experiences with ghosts for their acts or sketches.
Click right here to get the best of Cracked sent to your inbox.
Here are just a few of the funniest jokes, sketches and scenes featuring g-g-ghosts…
Langston Kerman Doesn’t Understand White Women’s Belief in Ghosts
“My white woman believed in ghosts. Do any of you nice white ladies believe in ghosts? Why? Have you ever seen a ghost? No. Never once in your life. You just want to be scared when you’re shitting and stuff.”
Ghost Tour
I Think You Should Leave believes that “no rules” means “NO RULES” or else you should make some. Especially if you don’t like swearing.
Spooky Song
Saturday Night Live recognizes that maybe ghosts don’t want to sing about how they died. Not because they can’t carry a tune, but to hide the embarrassment of their passing.
Paul Mooney Wants White People to Stop With the Ghost Content
“White folks, there are no ghosts. If there were ghosts, slaves would come back and fuck you up.”
Poltergeist
Baroness Von Sketch Show brings up a different type of ghost than typically discussed.
Peter’s Ignored Ghost
Family Guy knows that if your house is haunted by a colonial woman who fell down the stairs, the best thing to do is just let it be.
Erik Griffin on the ‘Paranormal Activity’ Films
Griffin has one solution for all the victims in the Paranormal Activity films: Leave the house.
Awkward Ghost Run-In
Key & Peele goes into how awkward it can be if you’re haunted by the ghost of a guy you kinda, sorta knew but don’t remember.
John Mulaney’s Mom Saw a Ghost
Haunted House
Saturday Night Live understands that ghost-hunting shows are full of farts. Sometimes literally.
‘He Slimed Me’
Ghostbusters is considered the best ghost-based comedy film of all time, which, admittedly, isn’t heavy with contenders. What helps seal its spot in pop-culture infamy is this hilarious scene featuring the iconic Slimer.
Roy Wood Jr. Knows How to Talk to Ghosts
“If talking to the dead is real, at minimum, it’s rude. It’s disrespectful. Fucking bothering people in Heaven. I’m dead; what the fuck else do you want? It’s rude; you’re dead, and you’re in Heaven having a good time, barbecue, lap dances! Then here come the waiter, ‘Uh, yes, you have a call from the Earth phone.’”
Jimmy O. Yang Will Avoid Ghosts Via Renting Apartments
“I don’t want to buy a house. I live by myself, and I’m scared of ghosts. I have seen enough Hollywood movies to know that ghosts only haunt rich people’s houses in the suburbs, preferably with a newborn baby. I live by myself; I ain’t got nothing to lose. A ghost comes to haunt me, I’ll just move. What’s the ghost gonna do? He’s gonna follow me from unit to unit? Start knocking on my light fixtures and shit? I’m like, ‘Go ahead, dawg, it’s not even mine. You fuck around, we’ll both get evicted.’”
