25 George Wallace Tweets to Make You Laugh and Whatnot

‘We grew up so poor, we could only watch Marley OR Me’
25 George Wallace Tweets to Make You Laugh and Whatnot

George Wallace has been doing stand-up comedy since 1977, and over the years he’s been in films, TV shows and become a resident comedian in Las Vegas. On Twitter, he’s been dishing out jokes — some political, some just plain silly — for years. Here’s a bunch of his funny tweets from this year alone.

George Wal... @MrGeorgeWa... Oct 29 ... What the hell is the wayside, and why does so much shit fall by it and whatnot? 11 32 351 14K
George Wal... @MrGeorgeWa... Oct 28 G ... Shout out to E.T. for taping a few everyday devices together and using that shit to call a Space Uber and get his ass back home and whatnot. 13 48 706 19K
George Wal... @MrGeorgeWa... Oct 28 ... Shout out to all the operators who are standing by and whatnot. 9 25 484 18K
@MrGeorgeWallace Oct 18 George Wallace G ... Shit. Accidentally went to the Chicken a la King March. Food was good though. 21 56 918 23K
George Wallace @MrGeorgeWallace Oct 17 G ... They're scrubbin' the hell outta the Epstein files. Gonna put Bill Clinton's name everywhere like MadLibs. Every flight, five Bill Clintons were sittin' there while Bill Clinton flew the plane. Bill Clinton leavin' the island as Bill Clinton lands. Bill Clinton wavin' to himself 21 87 777 18K
George Wallace @MrGeorgeWallace Oct 17 ... If y'all are shocked by the racism of the Young Republicans, I got some bad news for your ass about the older ones. 256 2.7K 18K del 203K
George Wallace @MrGeorgeWallace Oct 17 G ... We grew up so poor we could only watch Marley OR Me. 9 50 482 37K
George Wallace @MrGeorgeWallace Oct 8 ... I am canceling tonight's antifa pot luck due to the tumor I got from taking the measles vaccine. I appreciate privacy during this difficult time and whatnot. 72 224 3K 50K
George Wallace @MrGeorgeWallace Oct 8 g ... We are changing our antifa secret handshake to slap- slap-fistbump-fistbump. Then you snap your fingers once, eat everyone's pets, and make everyone within 50' instantly become trans. Pass it along. 36 209 1.5K del 27K
George Wallace @MrGeorgeWallace Oct 8 g ... They call it Prime Day but that shit is actually two days. Thank you for your attention to this matter! 10 12 258 del 14K
George Wallace @MrGeorgeWallace Oct 7 G ... I saw this racist bullshit coming the second our classrooms switched from blackboards to whiteboards. 15 41 743 19K
@MrGeorgeWallace Sep 18 G ... George Wallace It's sad 'cause my niece named her daughter Antifa in 2002, and now folks think it's a political thing and whatnot. 17 53 657 del 21K
@MrGeorgeWallace Sep 15 G ... George Wallace It's bullshit that Elton John only sang about a tiny dancer. Just once he coulda dropped a jam about a fat-as-hell dancer. 28 36 512 20K
@MrGeorgeWallace Sep 5 George Wallace ... I love it when a forklift operator tweets at me to stick to comedy when their feed is straight up orange Kool-Aid. Stick to forkliftin' bitch. 29 156 2.3K 36K
@MrGeorgeWallace Sep 5 George Wallace ... Where did that leave no stone unturned shit come from? Shout out to whoever hid something under a stone then forgot which one. 9 24 416 15K
@MrGeorgeWallace Aug 19 George Wallace ... Shout out to Mr. Drummond and whatnot. 23 19 539 lil 69K
@MrGeorgeWallace Aug 15 George Wallace ... Whoever stole the polka dot Labubu I hang from my rear view mirror, y'all got until midnight to return that shit without consequence. After that it's your ass. 10 28 437 18K
George Wallace @MrGeorgeWallace Aug 10 ... Shout out to knees, the elbows of the leg world. 16 70 829 del 27K
@MrGeorgeWallace Aug 3 George Wallace ... Shout out to corn, surviving the entire digestive process, then waving up at us from the toilet like I'm still here, wockaflocka! 25 85 1K 37K
George Wallace @MrGeorgeWallace Jul 27 ... We grew up so poor we could only read The Gatsby. 49 139 1.4K 80K
@MrGeorgeWallace Jul 10 George Wallace ... I'll straight up call something a doohickey when it's clearly a thingamajig. I really don't give a shit anymore. 46 221 2.2K 50K
@MrGeorgeWallace Jun 17 George Wallace G ... Why did they only sell Sea Monkeys? Shout out to all the Fresh Water Monkeys who never got a fair shot and whatnot. 13 61 689 del 22K
George Wallace @MrGeorgeWallace Jun 3 G ... Shout out to everyone who thought this fly as hell picture meant I was dead and whatnot. 7 BE THINKIN 39 88 2K del 34K
@MrGeorgeWallace May 27 G ... George Wallace You only hear about folks being ruthless. No one's ever like, That dude is straight up full of ruth. 37 120 1.3K 39K
@MrGeorgeWallace May 4 G ... George Wallace Wanna honor Star Wars but I'm still mad they never cast me as Lando's wacky uncle. And I keep coming over to borrow something but I always forget what I came to borrow and whatnot. And instead of using the force I have a grabber and I just move stuff with that. They blew it. 37 95 1.1K del 27K

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