31 of the Funniest Reasons Someone Was Dumped

‘Bread crumbs in the butter container’
31 of the Funniest Reasons Someone Was Dumped

Breakups can be caused by true, deep, emotional betrayals. They can also be caused by almost infinitesimally small details that suddenly make you think, “Nah, fuck this.” The latter make for much funnier stories.

That’s the exact subject of a thread asking Redditors for the funniest reasons they or friends have broken up with a potential partner. Times the final straw may have actually involved a physical drinking straw. 

Keep reading to find out some of the molehills that became insurmountable mountains, relationship-wise.

Frequently Abroad 00 . 5mo ago I knew this guy once. Great guy. But he loved this one leather jacket with a fur collar that I couldn't stand, and I couldn't get myself to tell him | thought it was hideous.
gloveonafoot . 5mo ago When | lived in the middle of nowhere, my buddy drove about two hours each way for a first date. When I asked him how it went, he just sighed and said, It's not gonna work out...she pronounces it 'eXpresso.
Apprehensive_Wrap373 . 5mo ago I was a shy kid and my first boyfriend started to get loudly ribbed with the nickname Stinkbomb by his football team while at school. I broke up with him because the mere thought of them turning that kind of attention on me was near panic inducing. | never told him why.
321lilly . 5mo ago Funniest reason? My friend's ex broke up with them because they 'chewed too aggressively.' Like, sorry for trying to survive on solid foods?
SabrinaSpellman1 ® 5mo ago My cousin dumped a guy when he picked her up because he was in a nice car but it was green (like dark green). She said anyone who spends that much money to get a car like that and chooses GREEN is not for me, wtf. She is a bit of a dick.
ImpressionFront6487 . 5mo ago My friend was married to he's wife for 14 years and she divorced him when he changed the toilet water to blue and she don't like that
1825Tulane . 5mo ago My wife's best friend broke up with her ex because he couldn't throw a football
Prytchard . 5mo ago Summer is a time for street hockey with the boy's. That was the reason he gave.
Rysiok . 5mo ago My ex broke up with me because I was husband material To this day I still don't understand what that even meant, and it was 20 years ago!
SamuelHorton 5mo ago She was a crystal girl/self-proclaimed empath who said I gave off bad vibrations and negative energy. I've since seen her report Lyft drivers for smiling weird in their profiles and has warded off negative presences by casting protection through her guardian angel.
nova4185 . 5mo ago A friend broke up W a great girl because she didn't go to college. She had a great job, better than him!, but he thought it was a red flag!
Osirus1156 . 5mo ago There was a bomb threat at her work so she broke up with her boyfriend over text and slept with her coworker in his car because she realized how short life could be.
NilesDave . 5mo ago I broke up with her because she wouldn't stop eating pickles. Couldn't kiss her with pickles on her breath
aunt-jackie . 5mo ago Friends in high school dated for a while...until Grandma gave them the bad news- they're cousins!
glazyb4alls . 5mo ago my cousin broke up W her bf because the guy intentionally farts in front of my cousin's face. literally faces his ass to her face and farts like a 6 yrs old
dont_shoot_jr 5mo ago A girl broke up with me because I use bbq prongs to reach for things on high shelves. My hand strength is enough that I can grab mugs, glasses, and cans She saw me do it and made her realize how short I am I guess I'll just jump next time
ElvisAaron . 5mo ago She listened to nothing but a compilation CD called jock jams in her car (jeep). Same CD, over and over, always.
talthebratx . 5mo ago Well, in my scenario, he broke up with me cause I was using an android, what's wrong with android, let's be fr... I hate that sick iPhone mentality fgs
No-Month502 . 5mo ago Bread crumbs in the butter container.
broodstories . 5mo ago My friend broke up W her boyfriend because he wouldn't go to the ren faire with her, because he doesn't like how they call women wenches. There were other reasons but this is my favorite one
codenamethechin 5mo ago My friend dumped a guy for using a metal fork to scramble eggs in her nonstick pan.
arseflare . 5mo ago . Edited 5mo ago Had friends break up because they supported rival football teams. These were people in their 20's
5mo ago Xenovitz Her reason: He's always got his nose in a book. This man used to gloat about making it through school without reading a book. Being with her turned him into a reader so I see it as a plus for character development.
HeapsFine . 5mo ago A friend broke up with a guy because he didn't have a toaster (there were other reasons, but the toaster thing cracked me up).
 . 5mo ago 9/11. She said it made her realize what was important.
SassyCatLady442 . 5mo ago One of my sorority sisters dumped a great guy because he's a Gemini and our planet rotations are going to be out of sync. I can't have a relationship with that uncertainty. Yikes.
Kabian321 . 5mo ago My buddy and a girl he dated in 2011 broke up with him because he wouldn't switch from Horde to Alliance and raid with her.
 . 5mo ago Не broke up because she ate pizza crust first - said it was a red flag for how she approaches life.
GuitarAlternative336 . 5mo ago I had a mate, mid 20s, that broke up with a girl because she (verbatim): 'had the potential to get fat' She was perfectly attractive, I still facepalm at that to this day
bombalapap . 5mo ago They broke up because he kept saying 'we' when referring to his fantasy football team
georgiafff . 5mo ago I broke up because he was addicted to fishing Bro wanted our dates to be fishing trips AND | AM ALLERGIC TO FISH

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