32 of the Wildest Things People Did As Children

‘Hurled a chair across the room at my teacher on my first day of preschool’
32 of the Wildest Things People Did As Children

Childlike innocence is a double-edged sword. It’s nice not to be worried about things like rent, or war, and be more focused on your next source of chicken nuggets. That same happy-go-lucky programming also, however, makes children susceptible to doing things that they’ll shudder imagining later, once their brain has fully developed.

Redditors were asked to share some of the craziest things they did as a kid, and they definitely delivered. There’s stories of everything from adorable goofs to what was probably a stroke of luck away from a manslaughter charge. 

Read below and imagine the expressions on a parent’s face after being relayed these tales.

burritobattlefield . 9y ago I used to climb on top of monkey bars and run across them, like full speed, one foot per bar. If I tried that today I'd probably fall and die
slumbtimes 9y ago Certainly not the craziest, but when I was maybe 9 or 10, the kids on my block and myself set some leaves on fire near a sewer drain. The trail of leaves along the curb burned like a fuse and a small fire started down in the sewer. Smoke started to billow out of the drain, a few surrounding drains as well as sewer caps on the street. It looked pretty insane. Realizing we fucked up, we ran for our super-soakers and did what we could. It eventually burned out, we blamed teenagers and got away with
AthiestBroker 9y ago Once I was out with my gf and was supposed to be home at like 10 or something. Would have been about 15 or so. Around 2am I realized how fucked I was and formulated a plan. How to get my mom to pick me up but not be pissed. My gf lived about 12 miles away from me so walking wasn't an option. Her little brother was hanging out with us. Не was big into karate and shit. So... I had him punch me as hard as he could several times in the mouth. I wiped
sklavko . 9y ago When I was 8 or 9 I intentionally stepped on a rake to see what will happen. Obviously, that wasn't very smart move since my whole face hurt as hell and nose started bleeding. For a moment | also thought I knocked out a tooth because I could taste blood in my mouth and couldn't feel my jaw.
AS PixelonTV . 9y ago . Edited 9y ago I called the police on my brother for not letting me use the Playstation 2.
gensleuth . 9y ago I took a bath with a plugged in TV balanced on the side of tub. I even changed channels. To this day, I'm surprised I'm still here.
Herogamer555 . 9y ago I pushed my then best friend down rock steps because she threw my Butt Ugly Martians toy in to the woods.
 . 9y ago I tried to shave my face when I was like 2-3 years old. I think I saw my father doing it and just figured I should do it too.
 9y ago Either.... I use to shit in people's shoes as a child because I believed there was a monster in the toilet ready to eat me. Or, the fact that I accidentally went to the adult section in a bookstore near my childhood house. Happened to pick up a book about sex, and ran around asking people what these figures were doing.
aubirey 9y ago Grew up in South Africa. In fourth grade, I went outside in the middle of the night to tell off a bull elephant who was keeping me awake by eating the seed pods off a nearby tree. Picture a blonde little girl, gesturing at and berating ten tons of ivory-clad murder machine for waking her up. I can only assume it found my penguin pajamas intimidating.
Bizmark_86 . 9y ago I would secretly eat cheese. Like a block of cheese. There were apparently incidents where I would go missing in the grocery store and be found happily eating a block of cheddar in the dairy aisle. Usually with someone laughing at me for being so oblivious to the situation. So yeah, secret cheese and prune juice was basically my diet from 3-6
peasNcarrots8675309 . 9y ago When I was roughly 4 years old, I would eat dimes and pennies. I would sneak some off of my dad's dresser, climb under my covers, and eat the fucking spare change.
dirrtybirdyy . 9y ago Mom pissed me off, so I peed in her vcr. Got in trouble and couldn't play Nintendo for a week or so.
FrenchTickles 9y ago Edited 9y ago My sister climbed up a 40ish ft grain bin and just sat on the lid when she was five. Dad said he'd never climbed a bin so fast in his life when he saw her.
N/PLACE SnakeEyes1986 . 9y ago | know that as crazy as most, but when | was small, I glued my fingers together with super glue. I was curious as to how strong a super glue is, that I tried experimenting it on myself. Turns out, it was strong, and my father had to slice it off with a knife.
spiffyP a 9y ago Edited 9y ago At 10, telling my mom I was going to the public pool, but then riding the bus a bit longer to the edge of town to go to the Quincy Quarries where we would jump up to 60+ feet into 300 ft deep freshwater. They found lots of bodies in it, too many to keep track of. Same quarry from Gone Baby Gone.
loveyourneighborman 9y ago As a preschooler at recess, I became curious what was on the other side of the playground fence. So each day | dug more and more until I had dug enough to squeeze my body under the fence towards freedom. About halfway through, a teacher caught me and stopped me. From there on out, that area of the fence was known as the tunnel.
amphetameanwhile e 9y ago When I was pretty young, all my friends were losing baby teeth and none of mine were even wobbly yet. I felt like i was missing out so I sat underneath my dads trailer and dug out one of my own teeth with a rusty nail that I found.
 9y ago Around the age of 12, I had to write an essay on who | want to be in the future. Everyone I knew was into fantasy at the time and so was I. So I wrote in great detail about who I want to be in the future. Later the teacher set up a meeting with my mom to discuss my essay because she got terrified. Joke's on me though because over a decade later, I still didn't become a Necromancer.
racinggerbils 9y ago A friend and i accidently i set about a quarter mile of dry grass on fire on the side of interstate 79. Bottle rocket, weird flight path equals 5 alarm fire . Who'd a thunk?
Madmagican- 9y ago When I was 4 I grabbed the keys to the car, started the car, put it in reverse and started backing down the street I'd thought it was a dream until my parents told me it was real this past Thanksgiving, but apparently I got pretty far
You know those older cars with those press electruc lighters? you push them in and 45 seconds later they pop back out red hot and able to set things alight? Yeah I stuck my thumb on that shit. I dont actually remember after the incident too well.
payton6 . 9y ago Every time I got out of the bath | would take a piss on my hallway carpet. For no fucking reason, I just loved pissing on that carpet. I never got caught but I one day stopped because | asked myself, why the fuck do you get joy out of peeing on your hallway carpet?
catpoopstinks . 9y ago Hammered 22 cal. bullets until they exploded. Liked the sound they made. Had no clue. Probably 5 yrs old. Miracle I wasn't hurt.
TheWeirdGirl143 9y ago Drank laundry detergent powder becuse i thought it was drink mix. I was told i couldnt have anything else to drink that night and I was still thirsty. Lol i didnt tell my parents until years later
manolid 9y ago At around 10 years old we would wait till my parents went out then take the spare key to my mother's car from where it was hidden and take the car on the expressway and try to max out the speedometer. This happened more than once and we were able to max it out every time. For anyone wondering, the needle would max out at 140 km/h.
15ItemsOrLess . 9y ago Hurled a chair across the room at my teacher on my first day of preschool
fuckingunique 9y ago When I was about 12 my friend and I used to fill cheap backpack super soakers with petrol. We would then use the super soakers as flame throwers. The plastic tips on the guns would burn for a while and the super soaker would aerate the fuel enough to blow a pretty decent flame from them. We used to go the beach 'for safety' so nothing at home would catch fire. I'm impressed we never blew up. And I'm More impressed that my friend now works for Shell as petrol engineer.
payton6 9y ago I went through a phase in elementary school when I was convinced I was a cat. I would meow instead of talk and made my mom put my water in a bowl and then crawl on my hands and knees to go lick it. A year later, I tried to take it a step further and climbed a tree, which resulted in me falling off and landing on my back. This was when I came to the sad realization that I was actually not a cat.
Kirket . 9y ago Went to investigate a 'dance' between two King Cobras.
ap1028 . 9y ago I tried to see if I could swallow an orange whole. Thank god for the Heimlich Maneuver.
BDKhXc . 9y ago I took a bite out of a stick of butter. I was about 4, I opened the fridge, saw butter and thought about how I liked it on bread and that it's probably just fine by itself. I were wrong.

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