31 Classic ‘Changing a Light Bulb’ Jokes to Lighten the Mood

‘How many optometrists does it take to change a light bulb?’
31 Classic ‘Changing a Light Bulb’ Jokes to Lighten the Mood
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When Thomas Edison invented the light bulb, there's no way he could have known he was indirectly also inventing an entire genre of joke. If he had seen that coming, he probably would have smashed his prototype to save us all. 

He did not, however, and the “changing a light bulb” joke is forever enshrined in the halls of comedy. He and the guy who invented the doorknocker will atone for this forevermore.

How many surrealists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two. One to catch the fish, the other to change the bulb.
How many optometrists does it take to change a light bulb? One... or two? One... or two?
How many coders does it take to change a lightbulb? None, that's a hardware issue.
How many Amish people does it take to change a lightbulb? A what?
How many Mac users does it take to change a lightbulb? None, they just buy a new house.
How many therapists does it take to change a lightbulb? One, but the lightbulb has to WANT to change.
How many moths does it take to change a lightbulb? Just one, but good luck keeping the rest away.
How many flies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just two. The problem's getting them in there.
How many Germans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. They're very efficient, but not very funny.
How many mystery writers does it take to change a lightbulb? Just one, and the twist at the end is amazing.
How many Marvel fans does it take to change a lightbulb? Which version of the lightbulb are we talking about?
How many depressives does it take to screw in a light bulb? Who cares, it'll just go out again anyways.
How many Freudians does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two. One to change the bulb, the other to hold the penis I MEAN LADDER.
How many senators does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, if you'll agree to an increase in defense spending.
How many Jewish mothers does it take to change a light bulb? None, son... I'll just sit here in the dark... alone...
How many marathon runners does it take to change a light bulb? Just one, but you'll hear about it forever.
How many IT workers does it take to change a light bulb? Sir, by any chance, are your eyes closed?
How many magicians does it take to change a lightbulb? Depends on what you want to change it into.
How many Vietnam veterans does it take to change a lightbulb? You don't know, you weren't there, man!
How many tech CEOs does it take to change a lightbulb? What if they told you you'd never need to change a lightbulb again?
How many robots does it take to change a lightbulb? Two. One to remove the bulb, and one to plan the funeral.
How many Republicans does it take to change a lightbulb? Change is what got us into this mess!
How many mafia members does it take to change a lightbulb? I dunno. Who's askin?
How many reindeer does it take to change a lightbulb? Eight. One to change it, and seven to hold Rudolph down.
How many divorced men does it take to change a lightbulb? None. She got the house.
How many lawyers does it take to change a lightbulb? How many can you afford?
How many Batmen does it take to change a lightbulb? Just one, but now how are you gonna signal him?
How many colonists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just one, but what are you doing in his house?
How many art directors does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Does it have to be a lightbulb?
CRACKED How many Teamsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Six. You got a problem with that?
CRACKED How many people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two, but they'd have to be very small.

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