30 of the Funniest Tweets from Friday, August 1, 2025

Why is he doing that…
30 of the Funniest Tweets from Friday, August 1, 2025

We didn’t necessarily need further confirmation that Ellen DeGeneres was a menace, but Adam Carolla couldn’t pass up the opportunity to offer up his two cents on the disgraced talk show host’s reputation. 

On a recent episode of After Party with Emily Jashinsky, Carolla recalled the backstage experience that clued him in to DeGeneres’ reign of terror. 

DeGeneres’ segment producer approached Carolla to review the approved conversation points, and nervously confirmed multiple times that Carolla wouldn’t go off-script and discuss anything that would upset DeGeneres. In particular, they asked, “You’re not going to talk about meat or beef or anything like that, right?” 

“No, I’m just going to talk about the stuff we talked about — going on vacation at Christmas,” Carolla replied.

Not long after, the producer came back to reiterate the off-limits topic for DeGeneres, who is a vegan: “Don’t talk about beef or meat or anything.”

“Oh, this guy’s scared to death,” Carolla realized at the time. 

He also remembered talking to another former Ellen employee, and asked them, “How’s Ellen?”

“Worst person,” they responded. “Not the worst person I’ve worked for. Worst person I’ve ever met.”

At least she’s consistent.

Thankfully, the funniest people on Twitter are also incredibly consistent. Today’s funniest tweets include those about Frodo’s Labubu, a new dictatorship and a day in the life of an unemployed person.

s ... Rory II #1 Desert Song fan @rxrycoreX3 . 21h my father is grilling burgers in his bedroom??? 157 1.9K 24K del 284K
@dc2trill . 17h Drank Baby ... White & Smh album delayed till I figure dis out PN Daily Noud @DailyNoud 1.22h Dc2trill reportedly put both of his fingers inside a Chinese finger trap and has been stuck for the past five hours. BALENCIAL 99 6.4K 149K del 2.4M
@faeriebites 18h s ... Spooky Can I come stare at u like 55 2.1K 16K 400K
Starry @StarryxMarie Jul 31 s ... the show must WHAT THESHOW MUST GOON 133 5.7K 89K 944K
Jacob Silverman @SilvermanJacob.7 7h G ... Maybe it's good AFP @AFP . 7h AFP News Agency Tiny shards of plastic called microplastics have been detected accumulating in human brains, but there is not yet enough evidence to say whether this is doing us harm, experts have said. u.afp.com/SM4b AFP 1C362W Fred Tanneau/AFP/File 86 1.5K 34K 950K
Conor Rogers @conorjrogers . Jul 31 O ... Republicans: we don't use pronouns Also Republicans: Coal is a girl U.S. Department of Energy @ENERGY Jul 31 She's an icon She's a legend And she is the moment SHE IS THE MOMENT U.S. DEPARTMENT IMERE of ENERGY 47 2.5K 48K 798K
robitussin technician @lorem3sum .21h O ... Girl I met in group therapy keeps on posting pictures like this on her instagram ADITER 73 UNKK 17K 734 205K del
Hannah G ... @haphazardlyyyyy 18h stopped by my mom's to do laundry and she's making an army of little frogs??? 253 1.1K 25K 215K
hubert plant emoji @postedinthecrib .14h S ... Let me kno if u need the methods Your Electricity Usage Summary Amount $11.00 The dollar amount does not include taxes, fees, service charges, etc. Your energy use by appliance* Laundry & Cleaning $3 Lighting $2 Refrigeration $2 Always On $2 Entertainment $1 Cooking $1 tippity @tippity Jul 31 PSEG C Good Afterno my $1700 electricity bill $1,713.51 $2,099.93 3 ip Enroll in Pregrams Svarybody رددادش the broker ألنا boy y alamistry will منلس Wouldn't trup (س show 194 1.3K 65K 4.4M
G ... amy et al. @peachofababy 19h I swear my birth control has a new fucked up name every time I pick it up. What the fuck do you mean LoJaimiess R NDC 70700-207-87 Rxonly LoJaimiess® Levonorgestrel and Ethinyl Estradiol Tablets, USP and Ethinyl Estradiol Tablets, USP 0.1 mg/0.02 mg and 0.01 mg Manufactured for: Xiromed, LLC, Florham Park NJ 07932 Made in India Rev: 11/2024 207-87-00 GUJ-DRUGS/G/28/1297 1 extended-cycle blister pack IROMED containing 91 tablets 47 333 14K 283K
vm * @tentwentysixpm 21h ... i'm shocked the tesla diner has a kids menu since nobody who would eat there has custody. 40 741 13K 173K
trumaniac @HSTrumaniac. 23h G ... My favorite thing about this tweet is that people were basically saying it to Lincoln all the time when he was alive Sasha von Didkovsky ... @sashavond i've never met anyone who even kinda looks like this 1.3K 7K 204K 15M
tomi @scrungeonmaster Jul 31 ... Google how to get matcha out of corduroy All Short videos Videos Images Forums Shopping - tomi @scrungeonmaster - Jul 31 just had to google some shit that would get me relentlessly bullied on here 33 1.1K 54K del 1.1M
S ... Strictly 4 My X'ers @Lizzs_Lockeroom . Jul 31 But no wasps were found. DITATION AHIMAL IPEAK I I BIBLE philip lewis @Phil_Lewis_ Jul 31 Workers found a wasp nest with a radiation level 10 times what is allowed by federal regulations at a South Carolina nuclear facility, but no wasps were found huffpost.com/entry/radioact... del 4.3M 259 10K 147K
S ... chini @Aunty_Gay Jul 31 i just don't think you can ask a question about astrophysics and then forbid astrophysicists from answering Poe's Law, Esq: Poe's Lawyer @dyingscribe.. Jul 30 What does a half fox half rabbit look like? Furries are not allowed to respond to this foxy DAD 36 6.7K 111K del 1.6M
Luhaenten @luhaenten Jul 31 S ... Just me and the dreams cling to in order to live CHRIS TC 3 1.6K 11K 180K
jos @josiahhughes . Jul 31 ... thought of a joke that some of you could try: Spotify didn't ask to verify my age because I listen to so much basically you would just fill in the blank with an artist that is associated with older people. i'm not interested in trying it myself, so i'm paying it forward. 56 322 12K 195K
С-Во the Eggman @CBoTheEggman 4h ... So shocking that a Republican president is driving the economy into a recession just like every Republican president has done for the last 50 years. 54 3.2K 25K 326K
@reverso13 . 8h G al.gr ... Hey honey, wake up! a new dictatorship just dropped G. Globe Eye News @GlobeEyeNews.13h El Salvador officially abolishes presidential term limits. POBLICA DE IL REPUBLICA DE THRINGS KI SALVADOR THEINE DE PRESIDENCIA ت REPUBLICA EL SALVADOR 6.2K 60K 51 800K
+ Domi .+ @DOmomingo Jul 31 S ... what Doomsday is gonna look like after rdj ate all the budget Neb @NebsGoodTakes Jul 31 Dragonball Evolution (2009) GIF II 24 2.2K 46K del 949K
AH - ... - POPER Keith @nagy_minaj. 5h S PO The The White House WHITE HOUSE @WhiteHouse Call it the Trump Effect. NEWS NewsWire WIRE @NewsWire_US.6 6h 26,000 U.S. manufacturing jobs lost in May and June 5 1.7K 28K del 446K
Ben Clarkson @benclarkson Jul 31 S ... God that's hot...*snifft...Cambodia was a calculation, maybe not my best...you're a great interviewer Astro Americana t @aiden22theastr1.Jul 30 36 1.7K 33K 1.3M
ven @waanxu . 2 23h ... average unemployed person activity X X > 5h 49m TikTok 2h 28m 23 7.5K 33K 842K
milk @milkinhisbag 19h ... Al could never steal company time the way i do 28 5.5K 51K del 1.1M
kylie @sunderedseas 12h ... in some ways, gollum is frodo's labubu 95 5.2K 30K del 978K
s aj @trafficparadise Jul 31 ... HORIZO with OME wtf??? orioles yo can u pitch now 31 749 21K 945K
g @34rths 23h ... I get paid tomorrow What do you guys want 2.1K 3.2K 39K del 1.1M
Kristen @slitkris e Jul 31 ... fool me once, why would you do that стоn thats mean. fool me twice, what the heck stop it. fool me a third time, come on we talked about this 26 3.1K 16K del 250K
No Context Super Mario @SuperMario00C85-23h S ... tinder M SUPER MARIO BROS MOVIE MARIO,Rile AHBHRGG WiilD SAPER MARIO Color Splash BDS Wii PAPRO APRIO PAPERI A ADVANCE Jean-Michel 33 Ladies, I own all Mario RPGs. Including remakes. x 163 37K 2.9K 923K
hannah @dumbandfunn.20h G ... baby you can go to the bar any day of the week, you don't have to be Dua Lipa @lipapictures Jul 30 Fan account dua lipa and callum turner going to the bar on a wednesday... i want what they have 0:07 22 884 35K 761K

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