12 Farm-Fresh Trivia Tidbits for Monday, March 3, 2025

The BBC has reported that police were called to Derriford Hospital because a literal child was impersonating a doctor. They won’t spill what kind of Doogie Howser-ing he did, only that he was “de-arrested" and “given intervention/education work.”

After the UnitedHealthcare CEO was killed, cynical tech dorks rushed to market an app called Protector that was already in development. It’s been nicknamed “Uber with guns,” and allows you to reserve an armed guard and driver for $200 per hour. You even get to dress your security detail like a Sim.

Actor Gary Crotty, aka Biff Wiff, has passed away after a battle with cancer. His career spanned nearly 40 years, but he recently achieved fame and meme-dom for his roles in I Think You Should Leave as Shirt Brother, Detective Crashmore (Santa Claus) and more.

Two parallel phenomena spell unending disaster for America: the legion of federal workers fired by the new administration are being actively recruited by Russian and Chinese firms; meanwhile, North Koreans keep tricking American companies into hiring them for remote positions so they can siphon data for Kim Jong Un.

A lunar lander launched by Intuitive Machines is carrying a 4G wireless system built by Nokia. If all goes well, we could have Wi-Fi working on the moon by March 6th.

Authorities in Düsseldorf were tipped off by food inspectors that something weird was happening at a local pizza shop, and upon investigating, found that the #40 was their most popular order. They discovered that it was a code word for cocaine after they knocked on the door of a customer, and he threw a bag of cocaine out his window.

In protest of a law in the U.K. that would allow companies to train A.I. models on copyrighted works, 1,000 notable British musicians collaborated on an album called Is This What We Want? It’s 12 nearly-silent tracks of empty studios.

Two window washers in Manhattan were stuck swinging in the wind on their scaffolding like a bucking bronco after their safety lines broke. Firefighters were able catch them and pull them in through a window, but their scaffolding continued flopping around, shattering sections of the building’s glass facade and dropping shards onto the street below. Miraculously, no one was physically injured.

Due to the layout of NBC Sports Philadelphia’s score graphic, anytime the Phillies and the Pirates played each other, it would read P00P until someone scored a run. The station is changing their graphic in a way that eliminates the possibility of a P00P.

The owner of a chintzy Harry Potter-themed Airbnb property went viral after renters trashed the place. If it’s not a hoax, the owners will obviously fine the guests, but the outpouring of condolences from Disney adults is probably medicinal to this type of dork-ass landlord. Among the indignities suffered are once-floating candles on the floor and “Fanta splashes all over the walls.”

After a volcanic eruption in 2019 killed 22 people, the owners of the property it was on were found guilty of failing to keep tourists safe, and ordered to pay restitution to the victims. A court just threw out the conviction.

Ramsay just opened up a new restaurant in London, and so many people have stolen little maneki-neko cat dolls from it that he estimates he’s already lost 200 quid.