12 Slugs Share Their Deepest Hopes and Dreams
Even a lowly slug has larger dreams than melting in salt, despised.
See Their Name in the Broadway Lights
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“I can imagine it now… STARRING: A SLUG.”
Dunking A Basketball
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“Once I learn to gain momentum in any way, I’m nearly there.”
World Peace
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“Why can’t we all get along?”
World War
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“This world demands a cleansing fire.”
To Be Less Beautiful
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“I just want to be able to walk around the block without being mobbed by model agents looking for the face of their fall collection.”
A 1970 Ford Mustang Boss 429 Fastback
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“And a stretch of open road to really let that baby purr.”
To Steal A Snail’s Shell and Join Their Ranks
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“If I can pry that sucker off, he’ll forever be demoted to our lowly status, while I’ll be living it up in Snail City!”
A Girlfriend
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“Not a slug either. I want a HUMAN girlfriend, I want her tall, and I want her to step on me!”
Escape Generational Poverty
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“This society exists to prop up the slugs born into upper-middle-class families’ gardens, and leaves behind those of us born behind a 7-Eleven dumpster.”
Get A Bit of That Sno-Cone
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“Just a lucky drop… I don’t know what that sweet blue is, but I know it would send papa to another plane entirely.”
A Complete Overhaul of the U.S. Office of Veteran Affairs
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“I fought for this country, and when I got back, they kicked me to the curb. Literally!”
???
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“What’s a slug? I’m a slug? What does that mean? Hello?”
