54 Funny Tweets About the Rich That’ll Have You Laughing All the Way to the Bank

They may be worth billions, but these tweets are priceless
54 Funny Tweets About the Rich That’ll Have You Laughing All the Way to the Bank

Whether they want to admit it or not, business titans like Jeff BezosMark Zuckerberg and Elon Musk all share the same secret to success, one spanning well beyond the stereotypical claims of “hard work” and “perseverance”: exploiting their workers

Even though billionaires present themselves as business savants who have pored over Rich Dad, Poor Dad more times than you can count, they really spend most of their time cutting corners to avoid providing their employees with adequate health insurance and a living wage. After all, why care about someone else’s well-being when you can take hundreds of millions of tax-free dollars and sail away on your fourth superyacht?

While we aren’t rich, we’ve found a much more ethical way to cement ourselves into the ever-fabled wealth mindset: rolling in the riches of hilarious posts. Whether it’s about a child discovering wealth or someone who did a “business 9/11,” these tweets will have you laughing all the way to the bank.

taurus supreme Subscribe ... @jaxajueny They're begging Kim Kardashian (the billionaire) to help Luigi Mangione... 11:33 PM Dec 11, 2024 48.2K Views 19 73 3.7K 42
Liam Nissan™ ... @theliamnissan A South African billionaire wants to cut your social security payments 11:19 AM Dec 6, 2024 1.4M Views 2.1K 12K 83K 1.2K
Feru Subscribe ... @ferupity Imagine you win the lottery and suddenly you're the only billionaire getting properly taxed @willclapyogirl - Nov 18 Record setting $2 billion jackpot was won by one person in Altadena, California. The person received $424M after taxes. MONDO MILLIONS MENCE 11.00 Stake GAMBLE RESPONSIBLY #AD Readers added context This tweet contains a hidden ad for Stake, which is against the TOS for being an undisclosed gambling service, which is prohibited on this site. help.x.com/en/rules-and-p... Do you find this helpful? Rate it 10:21 AM Nov 18, 2024.3.8M Views
Drew ... @GeneralGraveous How you a billionaire and can't afford a good wig POP CRAVE Pop Crave @PopCrave Nov 1 Mark Zuckerberg as John Wick for Halloween. 3:26 PM Nov 1, 2024 13.5M Views
Sarah McGonagall ... @gothspiderbitch There is literally a billionaire-funded dystopian nightmare building sitting in the middle of New York City that cannot reopen because so many people keep killing themselves there. Aaron Ginn @aginnt Feb 23, 2023 What data centers look like in China... lots of evil empire vibes 0:04 3:49 AM Feb 26, 2023.8.4M Views
Tired Peasant ... @HorrorGorl The billionaire class ADAM @AdameMedia Dec 10 What is the biggest threat to Earth?
Michael Sainato ... @msainat1 An Amazon warehouse worker's 'thank you' bag for working Prime Big Deal Days earlier this month THANK YOU! Starburst-Thanks for being a super star! Tootsie Rolls-Thanks for rolling with the punches! E ktra Gum-Thank you for working extra hard! Lifesaver Mint-Thanks for being a life saver! Pixie Stix-Thanks for sticking with us! 10:21 AM Oct 29, 2024 from Florida, USA 10.3M Views
big money salvia ... @kahtrinuh Okay so. What exactly is rich people's plan when their baristas, waiters, drivers, dog walkers, nannies, etc. can't afford to live in their cities anymore? Because cities would crumble without service workers 4:32 AM Apr 30, 2022 1.8K 22K 198K 2.7K
Dean Withers ... @itsdeaann We need a libbed out rich billionaire to counter Elon Musk. Last edited 9:21 PM Nov 12, 2024 4.8M Views 6.8K 2.1K 36K 861
evan loves worf ... @esjesjesj Only a billionaire would think regular people need to use their IDs every day Elon Musk X @elonmusk 6m The only people strongly against voter ID in America are those who want to commit fraud. Everyone knows that ID is required for basic daily activity and voter ID is mandatory in almost all countries. Why not here? Mike Lee @BasedMikeLee. 2h Progressive Democrats keep saying the SAVE Act isn't necessary because noncitizens are already prohibited from voting in federal elections.... 976 2K 9K 312K 12:14 AM Aug 30, 2024 1.8M Views
matt ... @mattxiv i don't expect a billionaire to lead the revolution or anything i'm just confused as to why one would make a movie about standing up for what's right at any cost only to literally never stand for anything again 20 MET GALA 21 @21metgala.Sep 8 evian 8:58 PM . Sep 8, 2024 16.8M Views
@ThatsLudaChriss 1d 1 I ordered something off Amazon and it was delivered 2 hours later. Jeff bezos will never see the pearly gates Imao 157 6.7K 115K 3.8M
Josh Ellis @jzellis 1d elon musk pennywise the clown has beef with children strange body owned by stephen king can be defeated funny by bullying hates gay people clown 53 6.1K 68K 1.1M
kira @kirawontmiss•3 3h Jeff bezos created amazon with just $300,000 from his parents. Taylor swift turned into a musical star by simple networking with her dad who gave her label $300,000. You don't have $300,000. give up. 308 4,445 58K - 1.4M
evan loves worf @esjesjesj· 17h ... The immediate cost of 9/11 was around 35 billion dollars. This is how much Elon lost with Twitter. Не did a business 9/11. Culture Crave @Cul.... 19h Fidelity estimates that Twitter (X)'s value has dropped to $9.4B A 79% decrease since Elon Musk took over X 531 8,793 118K 3M
brandon* @brndxix 1d ... posting like this with no checkmark is true passion and dedication for the interaction game Azix @ilyazixxx 2d Your THIRD emoji is your response... Elon Musk now E | accidentally sent you $100,000... can you send it back? 186 2.6K 126K 11M
Spaghetti @SpaghettiC11.23h - Elon Musk should buy Linkedln and run that to the ground too 142 3,436 34.2K 619K
Carol Lombardini @ItsMeCarolAMPTP .1 16h ... boy math is losing billions of dollars just to end up almost tripling your offer AMPTP OFFERS (as of 5/1/2023) TENTATIVE AGREEMENT (9/25/2023) provided writer follows applicable company policies. Company cannot require writer to use Al software (e.g., ChatGPT) when performing writing services. Company must disclose to writer if any material given to writer has been generated by Al or incorporates Al-generated material. Guild reserves right to assert that exploitation of writers' material to train Al is prohibited by MBA or other law. ESTIMATED VALUE OF DEAL $233 million/year $86 million/year 12 710 3,924 189K
Hurt CoPain @SaeedDiCaprio - 6h I love when he changes things like removing headlines and it backfires on him For you Following And pudding person @JUNIPER.1 10h NEW SCOOP: evidence showing elon musk is a pedophile mounting quickly VIVA VIVA V TECHNOLO TECHI fortune.com 496 3,350 1M 33.4K Thor Benson @thor_benson•9h Wow 1971- 2023 cnn.com 64 2,923 43K 1.2M
evan loves worf @esjesjesj 15h ... Easy. Не doesn't actually do any work at any of the companies and he doesn't raise his kids. a molson @Molson_Hart-2 2h someone needs to figure out how this man runs 6 innovative, intensely competitive companies with 12 kids, multiple baby mamas, and still somehow finds the time to go sporting events and play video games Sawyer Merritt @SawyerMerritt-3h Elon Musk with the Founder and Former CEO of Activision Blizzard at the US Open today in NY. 428 152 3.2K 280K 927 12.4K 150K 1.9M
DatNoFact 7 (@datnofact.bs... 21h ... KEEP STOP hello I'm new to the stock market is it good when the intel ceo starts praying Pat Gelsinger intel @PGels... 1d Let your eyes look straight ahead; fix your gaze directly before you. Give careful thought to the paths for your feet and be steadfast in all your ways Proverbs 4:25-26 217 11K 103K 5.9M
sockdem @sock_dem 13h No, it's because the average business book is 70 pages long and titled Whying Your How: A Winner's Guide to Success chase @_chase 1d the average CEO reads 52 books a year yeah bc they don't have a JOB 55 2,401 33K del 1M
Dave Itzkoff @ditzkoff 4d Canceling this game as a tax write off jackson @cheaperby12film.4d ANICKS DAVID ZASLAV PRESIDENT & CEO WARNER BROS. DISCOVERY 38 1.2K 18K 984K
naomi @lachancenaomi27-2 21h I got hired to be a waitress at a retirement home. Did one shift and calculated you would make $100+ more at Olive Garden. When I quit the lady said oh we're a nonprofit so I looked up their 990 and told her how much their CEO makes 101 3,385 96.3K 2.5M
derek guy @dieworkwear 12h imagine thinking you're rich and kim's friend and north looks you up and down and says, $2 POP CRAVE Pop Crave @PopCrave. 1d Kim Kardashian tells GQ that North runs a lemonade stand where she scams people that she knows: If a random person stops, she will charge them only $2. If she knows you, she will fully scam you. l'll get calls from my friends saying she charged them $20 for a lemonade. She'll... Show more 16 134 4.6K 394K
Squeaky Emmy (COMMS OPEN???) ... @NighttimeMuffin me: god i wish i had a rich sugar mommy to dote on me and gift me all the stuff i want my wife: hey hun would you like me to make you some lunch? me, sobbing profusely: n-no dont worry about it i dont wanna be a burden 3:43 AM Nov 4, 2024 287.5K Views 22 2.4K 24K 1.3K
Dividend Hero @HeroDivid... 16h ... Get rich then get off the grid Linkedin edition Experience Goose farmer Self-employed Jul 2023 - Present 10 mos On-site Microsoft 22 yrs 4 mos Principal Performance Architect Full-time Jul 2022 - Jul 2023 1 yr 1 mo Chehalis, Washington, United States Principal Software Development Engineer Apr 2001 - Jul 2022 . 21 yrs 4 mos Redmond,WA Azure Performance Team, August 2017 - Present Office 365 Foundation Engineering... see more 135 64.8K . 2.7M 5,594
Lex Vaughn @AlexaVaughn 2 21h ... You'll never guess the name of Boeing's senior manager of local and government operations. - My Edmonds News @myed... 1d Boeing Company's Rich White to speak at Edmonds Chamber Community Update event April 11 dlvr.it/T5LI3X BOEING 53 2,582 24.3K 1.5M
Hurt CoPain @SaeedDiCaprio -2 2h ... bro is acting like the money isn't going right back into his bank account JD Dexerto @Dexerto 22 Netflix cofounder Marc Randolph revealed he pays for his subscription NETFLIX 81 3,175 1.5M 57.1K
Amber Berry Carr @bloodbe... 2h ... i watched The Menu and i liked it but Anna Taylor-Joy is the least convincing poor person i have ever seen. most born- rich looking human possible 132 1,020 35.5K 644K
soul nate @MNateShyamalan 17h sorry but if you spend the koch brothers' money on onlyfans subscriptions think they should put you on mount rushmore philip lewis @Phil_Lewis_. 1d Ethics report: George Santos used campaign funds to pay for OnlyFans, Botox, Sephora ethics.house.gov/sites/ethics.h... On October 21, 2022, RedStone's bank account received a $25,000 wire from an account affiliated with Contributor 2. 154 From there, $25,000 was transferred from RedStone's account to Representative Santos' personal checking account. 155 On October 26, 2022, RedStone's bank account received a $25,000 wire from an account affiliated with Contributor 1. 156 On the same date, the
or @notr4b.20h he's so done Today 20:25 Father Everyone I have an announcement Change my name on your phones To Bank Because that's all I am A bank That gives cash 94 2,186 59.1K 692K
Dr Adam Rutherford @Adam... 10h ... Dude is gonna die like the rest of us, but will have had a miserable time getting there. Mail Online Daily Mail Online 3/19/24 Millionaire biohacker Bryan Johnson (who already has a cult-like following) plans to start his own NATION for anti-agers... where pizza, donuts and alcohol will be illegal trib.al/Zt08oCG 124 619 22.5K 642K
Rodger Sherman @rodger 3d RoadRodge Nothing gets you to adopt the evil billionaire mindset MoneyLion quicker than dynasty mode in sports video games. I was 12 years old price-gouging my fans on concessions and cutting franchise icons because they wanted too much in free agency Bruce Matson @MetricScout . 4d I miss changing hotdog prices on Madden. L R GIANTS ny GIANTS STADIUM AT THE MEADOWLANDS FAN SUPPORT OUTDOOR/GRASSY TURF STADIUM TYPE N/A AVG ATTENDANCE $- 11.75M CURRENT ASSETS PRICE vs EXPECTED HOT DOGS $8 HAMBURGERS $5 PIZZA $5 7 72 1.6K 158K
Jason, ex Inferis @benedictsred.1 1d ... The spelling of bourgeoisie was intended as yet another means of oppression 241 10.1K 68.5K 1.4M
Wookieelndex @WookieeIndex 1d The true measure of wealth is not your private equity portfolio, it's this: THICAL HAPPY GGS HENS SMALL FAMILY PARMS BAY INTENDED BY HAND RAISED Vital PASTURE FARMS 18 LARGE EGGS GRADE FRESH AIR FORAGE OUTDOORS 14 undem a SUNSHINE YEAR HOUND 108 or TENDED BY HAND 11 SMALL FAMILY FARMS FER HEN 18 NITERCY Vital THR PASTURE-RAISED LARGE FARMS RAO'S RAO'S Kernygold MILK FROM GRASS-FED cows SINCE 1896 Kerrygoló RAO'S offr HOMEMADE PURE IRISH BUTTER All Natural, Premium Net Wt. 8 OZ (227g) MARINARA NET WT 15.5 OZ (440G) 434 4.2K 49K 2.6M
ely kreimendahl Subscribe ... @ElyKreimendahl took my 6 yr old to the bathroom at a friend's yesterday & she looked around & said wow.....this bathroom is so pretty & shiny & then she wiped & was like mom you HAVE to try this toilet paper; it's so thick and soft!!!!! and long story short my kid just discovered wealth 9:37 AM May 26, 2024 2M Views
t. @thandoau 1d ... i i don't know if this year was just overall an expensive year or if we aren't getting paid enough or if i'm mishandling my finances or if the inflation rates are just too high but whatever it is, it MUST never happen ever again. 49 6,923 24.2K del 570K
~/mike @minkbazink- 1d We need a slur for beginners in a hobby who already bought the most expensive gear 4,681 9,432 142K 10.4M
hunter @hunter_hhhh.2 20h ... waited 10 years for a game i'll never be able to afford. gutted is an understatement. Pubity @pubity.22h GTA 6 to cost between $1-2 Billion, making it the most expensive game of all time grand theft Лодое COMING 2024 WWW.ROCKSTARGAMES.COM/VI
katie @katefeetie3 3h ... the first person to invent a browser plug- in that blocks you from having to see any Al art is gonna be a millionaire 14 664 8,017 del 56K
Terminally Online Leftist @... . 1d ... gn Weon United 2 hrs-25 Why can't die? Mike Try a metal fork Like - Reply hr Weon oh look at me the millionaire that can afford metal cutlery Unlike Reply 4-1 hr 12 2,476 71.2K 664K
Jarrett Carlen @JarrettGC.1 16h ... BLASTED to Sports YEAR BRO SPORTS ungo Goldfish FLAVOR BLASTED SY S RETIR Sharms Charania f a n @SharmsCharania 22h An anonymous Akron billionaire is reportedly purchasing a 33 percent stake in the Boston Celtics, sources tell @TheAthletic @Stadium. 185 8K 98K 3M
evan loves worf @esjesjesj 1d ... Pornhub PH https://www.pornhub.com> view_... Dick Suckin Olympics Champ at Work Pico Paco @PicoPaco17 - 1d Replying to @DionysianAgent and @yifever What Elon has achieved is far beyond Buddha. He's a higher form of life. Had he been a wealthy prince with no responsibilities, I have no doubt he... 174 9,268 138K 4.2M
Anti-Fascist Turtle @TheAntifa... 1d ... If scooby doo taught us one thing, its that the real monsters are Land owners and rich people 64 17.5K 122K 1.3M
Paul McCallion @OrangePaulp.4h save us less bad billionaire POP CRAVE Pop Crave @PopCrave 19h Mark Cuban tells @WIRED he would buy Twitter/X if he could. X 163 3.9K 99K 1.7M
jon drake @DrakeGatsby 1d ... Linkedln is where the real posters are thriving Real Estate Investor and CEO at Subscribe to newsletter 1h My kids owe me $15,000 each. They're all under 10 years old. 45 2,447 43.9K 817K
Ken Klippenstein ... @kenklippenstein Hedge fund CEO: I lost $3 billion, my company, my home, and now my wife Me: Have you considered budgeting? 9:18 PM Jan 27, 2021 4.2K 60K 466K 1.6K
Josh Gondelman @joshgondel... . 4h ... The gate agent just offered $1,700 for anyone traveling to Indianapolis to take a later flight, and no one took it which means that manifest is full of wealthy people who need to get to Indiana NOW. 71 91 3,803 del 179K
Esther @estrogenbf.20h ...  i wouldn't say my parents were rich growing up. we were comfortable ..... 2 350 5,479 del 106K
төя CHIA @kingtorc• 1d ... If I win the lottery, no one around me will be broke, and I truly mean that. I will move to a wealthy neighbourhood. 137 9,122 86.4K du 2.7M
Nerbit @Nerbit_13098 3d Our annual tradition of sacrificing billionaires to appease Poseidon is going well I see Dexerto @Dexerto 3d Tech billionaire Mike Lynch is missing after $18M yacht sank off Italian coast 1K 86K 755K 16M
cold @coldhealing 18h ... yeah that 16 month gap in my resume is the time i spent in the woods in new hampshire where eventually god revealed to me that my purpose in life is to be a wealth manager here at wells fargo :) 18 607 9,756 del 217K
eidel @orbitsasylum. 1d mind you francine actually has a husband and children that love her Hunter @poshspicelatte. dd MONEY WEALTH TALKS WHISPERS 123 1.7K 28K 1M

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