31 of the Funniest Tweets from Thursday, December 5, 2024

Language is so beautiful
31 of the Funniest Tweets from Thursday, December 5, 2024

We’ve got actors on actors on actors on actors thanks to Variety

The outlet announced the pairings for the 21st edition of its Actors on Actors series headed into this year’s awards season. The 12 new matchups include inspiring choices like Amy Adams and Demi Moore, whose films deal with women aging in society, and the inevitable “Glicked” conversation between Ariana Grande and Paul Mescal. The series starts December 9th with whatever the hell Ryan Reynolds and Andrew Garfield have to talk about, which Variety promises is “a can’t-miss conversation.” New episodes will drop daily thereafter for two weeks. 

Elsewhere, another pairing in Hollywood could make SAG Awards history. In the likely event that Prime Video’s Mr. & Mrs. Smith lands on the nomination list for Best Ensemble next month, it’ll be the third show in history to do so with a main cast of just two people. Donald Glover and Maya Erskine would join Key & Peele’s eponymous duo Keegan-Michael Key and Jordan Peele and The Last of Us stars Pedro Pascal and Bella Ramsey, who were nominated in 2016 and 2023 respectively.

Everyone on the timeline is making their own history by crafting great new tweets. Today’s funniest include those about what it means to be in your 20s, a restorative cocktail and the careful consideration of a half-star. 

HollywoodChris™ @Talk_2_Em_Chris + 17h ... That line faint as hell. Girl that ain't nothin but a lil gas you'll be aight the milf. @diosa_vii. 21h Ok fun's over... pregnant not pregnant 710 4K 92K 4.3M
wicked news hub @wickednewshub-2h History repeats itself DF DiscussingFilm @DiscussingFilm - 2h Paul Mescal and Ariana Grande will be doing Actors on Actors together. Releasing on December 10. 930 19 16K 273K
Ediff X @FleshFromFlesh 1d Okay I'm sorry can you pee in peop Videos All Images Forums Shoppir AI Overview ... No, you cannot pee in people; it is not physically possible to urinate directly into another person's body as the human body is not designed to receive urine through the skin or any other external opening, and attempting to do so would be extremely harmful and considered a form of assault. C 379 3.3K 59K 1.1M
aidan @AlDANS_ 18h ... COM the kind of thought that goes into a half a star difference in your letterboxd rating of a film. 2 103 1K del 20K
Adam Pearson @Adam_Pearson . 4h ... What? This isn't how I wanted to find out! Jess @jesshassex.17h Replying to @filmindependent Adam Pearson is not a good actor lol. 25 68 2.1K del 103K
n*yay @yorukxsser 1d ... nvm we are so back Yesterday sup u look mentally ill I think I wanna take care of u I have cats btw 23:48 Accept Block or report n*ya @yorukxsser 2d i think my husband might not be on this app guys 1.4K 16K 54 593K
yammi @sighyam 17h I farted so loudly at my almost empty gym today while struggling with the last rep of my bench press and people turned around and fr looked at the fat dude minding his business omg I had to actually say my bad so that people didn't think it was him 136 1.4K 42K 1.5M
lou @christiansbale 22h when two freaks come together to maximise their joint eccentricity Liam @ghibliam 1d Esquire . 1 835 9.6K 220K
Da Polar Bear @Hughierowlan_ 20h Group presentation for the final in 20 minutes and this chick in the group sent this. НА НА !! ? Im ngl ive been sipping tequila Reply Add Sticker + Copy Translate A x More... 5.5K 31 51 187K
SITA @raspberhrriies . 1d ... i think spotify wrapped just called me a slur Pink Pilates - Princess 255 8.1K 91K del 1.4M
Ciara Knight @Ciara_Knight - 7h They should do a Calculator App Wrapped where it shows you the dumbest calculations you did this year. Real moron stuff like 20% off 20, or 1x8, or 6+9 8 510 7.9K 138K
Demi @demifordc. 21h ... | just need a day between everyday...to recover from the day before... just so I can prepare for the day coming 36 11K 38K dJ 695K
Jack @jrbrownfield.1 17h You know, Barry Keoghan isn't the first man to betray a Carpenter. Let's open up to John 13:21... 107 11K 102K 1.5M
Mariam @MariamSKhokhar.  1d your 20s are for lusting after furniture you can't afford actually 72 7.5K 38K 596K
dj franzia @hawillisdc. 17h her saying this during ariana's caucasian era makes this funnier POP CRAVE Pop Crave @PopCrave.21h Former Donald Trump advisor Gina Loudon accuses 'Wicked' of being racist against white people and says Ariana Grande is obviously Hispanic: The racism and the racial appropriation just thought was offensive, frankly. 254 4.4K 67K
Veles (73k/50k words) @keyo... 16h ... I don't have a dog in this fight : normal, if grim I don't have a horse in this race : less common, but meaning obvious I don't have a dog in this race: subverts expectations; strong imagery I don't have a horse in this fight : spellbinding, transcendent synthesis 127 2,438 29.1K 431K
madeleine @parietines 22h ... After 11 years together, we've finally taken the next big step in our relationship: combining our books. (This is a greater commitment than marriage, I am never doing this again) SPACIFIC WAR i 182 2.6K 36K 883K
Robert Littal BSO @BSO.23h Legendary fumble from George Costanza AuxGod @AuxGod_ 1d AUXGOD Happy 60th Birthday Marisa Tomei 1.9K 301 41K 2.8M
DA MENACE @ricandamenace1 - 1d ... dam ima look dumb as shit !i @diegofye.2d tattoos on aged skin 598 4.2K 55K 4M
Tevin @YourBudTevin 1d His jersey finna hit frat houses like crack in the 80's E Eastern Michigan Football @EMUFB - 1d POSTERNA Needed a stud at LB, and we Noah guy. @KniggaNoah (Noah Knigga) just made it OFFICIAL! #ETOUGH #25OVERDRIVE E costes michigon foodpast Geddes Kmt 25UVERDRIVE 5 e F. a MAC E 10 Ypsilanti 6'2 205lbs NOAH LB KNIGGA SIGNED lawrenceburg hs greendale, in the adida E MAC MAC 10 10 70 5.3K 102K 4.9M
danny g g @GILFXYLE 1d Sabrina Carpenter do you fuck with dudes who make £11.85 an hour @PopBase. 1d Pop Base Sabrina Carpenter and Barry Keoghan have reportedly 'decided to take a break' from year-long relationship (via PEOPLE). 218 5.7K 195K 8M
picasso @deadIesbians. 1d forgot i made this my name on spotify and for a second i was like whoa how do you know that Hi lesbian:) 6.6K 1.2M 173 141K
Josh Trebach, MD @jtrebach . 20h babe wake up your surgery isn't done yet but we can't afford anymore anesthesia POP CRAVE Pop Crave @PopCrave.22h Blue Cross Blue Shield will no longer cover anesthesia for the full length of certain surgeries in Connecticut, New York, and Missouri. If a surgery exceeds a specific duration, anesthesia costs for the additional time will not be covered. BlueCross. R ® BlueShield 390 11K 130K 3.3M
Duane 'Ice-Road' Trucks @DTrucksBurner . 1d ... On January 6, something magical happened. 78 6.2K 141K 2.1M
j*sh o'conn*r propagandist @SPLENDOR1999 . 21h sorry to the CVS worker for making it awkward when i asked you where the contact solution was and you said i don't know and started briskly walking around i didn't realize you were running away from me for multiple aisles i thought you were gonna help me look 231 4.8K 154K 2.4M
Savannah @simpinsassy· 1d hitting my pen in the chilis bathroom bout to float back to my mozzarella sticks like a cartoon pie 12 561 5K 133K
bert @airpippens . 1d the people you went to high school with are putting up legendary numbers for Noah Kahan and Zach Bryan 78 3.5K 51K 1.2M
y @ysmammri 1d ... ion like spotify wrapped bc i'll have one manic episode in feb where i listened to a song 200 times n that be my so called fave song of the yr 107 8K 57K del 1M
Schemes @DJSchemes. 1d ... Just paid my rent for the rest of the year! Boss moves only. Get your priorities straight! 292 6.8K 69K 1.4M
Timothy @deliclit 17h Okay FOOD RECIPES GET THE RECIPE 15 Recipes That Nourish, Soothe, and Restore Activate ancient remedies with these soups, 05 Gin & Tonic drinks, and techniques. of 15 By Food & Wine Editors Published on February 23, 2023 f x P 12 497 7.9K 168K
big diesel @JustBoysLaughin 23h My brother just sent me his Spotify wrapped L0000000L My Top Songs Sounds To Repel Racoons 1 REPELLENT Repellent Frequencies FREQUENCIES Scare Away Raccoons 2 REPELLENT Repellent Frequencies FREQUENCIES Repel Racoons 3 REPELLENT Repellent Frequencies FREQUENCIES Get Rid Of Raccoons 4 REPELLENT Repellent Frequencies FREQUENCIES Raccoon Repellent 5 REPELLENT Repellent Frequencies FREQUENCIES 349 18K 266K 5M

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