34 of the Funniest Tweets from Friday, November 15, 2024

I’ll never leave your side, bro
34 of the Funniest Tweets from Friday, November 15, 2024

The Oscars have been in desperate need of a friend, and they finally found one in Conan O’Brien. The former late-night-host-turned-podcaster confirmed his new gig saying, “America demanded it, and now it’s happening: Taco Bell’s new Cheesy Chalupa Supreme. In other news, I’m hosting the Oscars.” Academy CEO Bill Kramer and president Janet Yang released a joint statement expressing their excitement for O’Brien’s “brilliant humor” and “remarkable ability to connect with audiences.”

Although John Mulaney turned down the opportunity to host the Oscars, there’s one surprising job he might consider taking. The comedian went incognito mode with GQ for their web series Actually Me and answered questions from all corners of the internet, including one about the popular fancast of Mulaney as Plastic Man in the DC Universe. He very candidly responded, “It’d be a money thing,” acknowledging that “these movies pay a lot.” While it’s not clear whether or not Mulaney was joking, weirder actors than him have joined the comic book movie madness.

Over on the timeline, everyone is assuming their rightful duty as the internet’s comedic relief. Today’s funniest tweets include those about real logistical skills, return of the yap and the world’s worst Jeep.

Emma Szewczak @EmmaSzew... 1d ... This has radicalised me and I think I'm going to kill someone RZSS i Animal welfare Fireworks blamed for baby red panda's death at Edinburgh ZOO Royal Zoological Society of Scotland calls for tougher laws after three-month-old Roxie dies from Bonfire Night stress 336 8,963 101K 2.1M
Sea Pickle @seapicklereal 21h ... I don't really show this side of me at all on here but I'm like pretty well versed in the theme park world and this is essentially the equivalent to Nintendo taking Mario out back and shooting him in the fucking head Culture Crave @Cul... 21h Six Flags Great Adventure in New Jersey is removing Kingda Ka from its park-it's the world's tallest roller coaster It will be replaced with a 'multi- world-record-breaking launch roller coaster' in 2026 Six Flags® GREAT ADVENTURE RESORT 72 3,163 38.8K 1M
rachel @couldberach. 1d Today 11:51AM Ik this is so stupid but im rlly worried Jake Paul is going to beat mike Tyson in their fight This would just feel like another trump win 583 14K 274K 4.2M
Kar @karlogan_ 21h There had to be a better way to announce he's in a new project THR The Hollywood Reporter 1d Sterling K. Brown Accused of Killing the President in Hulu's Paradise Trailer hollywoodreporter.com/tv/tv- news/ste... 99 4,555 37.9K 1M
XTCY (COMMS OPEN) @XXX....21h ... who up zerkin they zoing 36 4,111 38.7K 776K
Sophia Benoit @1followernodad17h ... this sucks for real life delve-heads C. Е. Aubin? @ceaubin 20h POV you're about to grade a paper that definitely wasn't written by Al t delves i 187 4,815 98.3K 2M
philip lewis @Phil_Lewis_ 16h ... Red Lobster CEO says endless shrimp is never coming back because 'I know how to do math' fortune.com Red Lobster CEO says endless shrimp is never coming back because 'I kno... 307 3,570 28.2K 1.4M
@BassieHuma 13h just my luck-yall won't guess who I got again this morning Mr Yappington himself, literally as i stepped in he said I'm so glad we can finish our conversation from yesterday NOOOOOOOOO @BassieHuma 1d Yoh, my Uber driver is such a yapper and I have ran out of yeahs 1,026 8,224 103K 2.4M
derek guy @dieworkwear-11h dear god pls let mike tyson bite jake paul's ear off 190 1,002 18.9K 385K
A Girl Has No Name @Nyx_19 - 1d ... My kid just randomly told me that brushing your teeth is the only time you wash your skeleton 43 827 5,312 157K
The Ginger Swindler (sixer... 21h ... if RFK bans diet coke, i will i make jan 6 look like a girl scout meeting. 29 14.8K 138K 7.8M
Alvin Wagner @big_strong_al.1 1d ... Took 3 years of law school to develop high level logic skills like this. The machines will not win. Country music for drunk driving can't create playlists based on that. Let's try another topic. Country music for when I'm drunk but a 'buddy' is driving 32 958 36.1K 1.4M
B @PercThaGoat. 1d just had a great idea for cemeteries @snaxngl. 1d im high as hell and just discovered i can fit way more dino nuggets in my air fryer if i put them vertically EATH Tourbon American Whister Stake 68 423 9,877 del 201K
(8-1) . 12h ... Marxist Lynchist When someone not paying for the appetizers goes for the load bearing nacho 12 436 14.3K del 210K
lily @hondacrvthe3rd 1 1 18h ... just got the weed i ordered from Temu 55 206 4,873 138K
Burger @stinking_man 3h ... Hitting the club with your boys. Tummy full of Derrick's white. Chills. SELICS LIMITED Celtics Junkies @Celtics... .4h Derrick White is releasing his own beer with Samuel Adams called the (Derrick) White Ale SAMUEL SAMUEI SAMUEI ADAMS SPORT ADAMS ADAMS (DERRICK) DERRICK DERRICK WHITWHITE HIT ALE ALE ALE DIDA! 5.5% 5.3% 11 WHITE direct - .. ... - the ALL - - - - - - - PINT ALE IPINY 68 872 25.4K 1.3M
Exclusive Banks @bandile_b... . 1d ... Please forgive them, they're just kids. m. @haiborands 1d omds the day i catch shein ? my zip just broke while i was having dinner 190 1,723 10.1K 434K
Africa @AfricasThoughts - 1 1d ... they've just ordered pizza for the office. we're not getting our bonuses are we GIF 73 1,246 8,915 174K
droid mom @droidxmom 6h ... my daughter texted me and asked me to pick her up early from school today. when i asked why, this was her reason. Please why? Delivered Because I have some thing to tell you and I might forget about it 24 49 3,533 39.1K
Toad @ItsToad_ 4h My. God. I found the worst Jeep ever. О 50 58 819 64.1K
x_44tb0yTHOTi3_x @vampiric_s... 1d ... online college bully xavier @nahimdifferent.2 2d my online college bully just told me it's cause he didn't know how to ask to be my friend 104 4,479 119K 2.5M
percocet pete @360D0GS .1d Did you just heart react me ? Our bond has deepened . i will never leave your side bro . we will face so many hardships together bro 29 2,901 15.2K 219K
Brooklyn @bklynb4by· 19h i've had 3 cans of coke zero today OHMYGODOHMYGOD OHMYGODOHMYGOD OH DD OH OD OHM ODO YGOD OHM ODO MYGOD OHMYGODOHMYGOD OHMYGODOHMYGOD OHMYGODOHMYGOD OHMYGODOHMYGOD OHMYGODOHMYGOD OHMYGODOHMYGOD 30 673 19.2K 314K
Dr Grayfang @DrGrayfang 4h ... Me after saying no updates from me on my only call of the day 2 429 7,212 174K
celeste @dreampalettes.17h I kinda love when someone is like omg we need to hang and I'm like yessss and then we never do 168 7,084 53.5K del 830K
evan loves worf @esjesjesj 15h ... Probably the one who is a doctor and not the one who ate rancid meat which caused a parasite to crawl into his brain and eat it @Re... . 17h Rep. Nancy Mace Quick: who's healthier? LEVINE @REPNANCYMACE 1,499 8,636 183K 3.6M
@peqrlss.5 5h i blocked him yesterday and i just saw this SEPHORA BLACK FRIDAY SALE 50% Yesterday AC To You WELCOME TO SEPHORA BLACK FRIDAY SALE, ENJOY YOUR CODE FOR 50% OFF CODE:HiDanaCanICall? 151 1,884 24.9K 467K
nikisha @datgyalniki 1 1d ... imagine going through this just for your son to be dj akademiks CG @mommy's Touch Week 25 From non aesthetic things 693 8,187 89.6K 3.1M
luz @vnbvrnt.3h specifying white is so funny like what else can she possibly be as Flop Updates @ThatJLawSt... 1d You know when Jennifer Lawrence plays an unhinged white woman, it's going to be an Oscar-worthy performance 63 386 17.9K 294K
@twaniimals.16h ... 23 3,647 19.1K 500K
A LZRS_87 TAXON @LZRS_87.21h ... I hope the lead I'm mining will be used in your LUNCHLY 3 244 3,090 35.6K
George @GeorgeNicholasK-1 1d These guys look like two Dr. Seuss characters R Leading Report @Leadin... 1d BREAKING: John Bolton calls Trump's nomination of Matt Gaetz 'the worst nomination for a Cabinet position in American history.' 55 1,726 33.6K 851K
alex @GamesEarlPwns-1d ... I'm on Bluesky btw @Intern.... 1d I'm assembling a team of the world's most hideous frauds and perverts 13 3,693 24.2K 487K
Sabrina Cartan @sabrinacartan.1 1d ... this is like watching an amateur house flipper tear down a load-bearing wall Elon Musk X @elonmusk.1d 99 Federal agencies is more than enough DogeDesigner @cb_doge. 1d Elon Musk explains the importance of creating the Department of Government Efficiency. There are around 428 federal agencies. There's so many that people have never even heard of. I think we should be able to get away with 99 agencies. 1:52 TCN 10K 32K 175K 23M 2,135 6,334 82.3K 1.8M

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