35 of the Funniest Tweets from Friday, November 1, 2024

Sounds reasonable to me!
35 of the Funniest Tweets from Friday, November 1, 2024

Eddie Murphy is getting funky. The actor is reuniting with Amazon MGM Studios and Dreamgirls director Bill Condon for a biopic on Parliament-Funkadelic leader George Clinton, which will be based on Clinton’s memoir Brothas Be, Yo Like George, Ain’t That Funkin’ Kinda Hard on You? and cover the influential musician’s surreal journey to redefining what funk music can sound like. Murphy has previously worked with Amazon MGM Studios on Coming 2 AmericaCandy Cane Lane and the upcoming The Pickup with Keke Palmer and Pete Davidson. 

Meanwhile, Jamie Foxx is finally answering some questions. The actor is getting “back to the stand-up sort of roots” with What Had Happened Was…, which is set to premiere on Netflix in December. Foxx’s first comedy special in more than 20 years will address his recent medical emergency and the subsequent rumors about his hospitalization. The special comes from a three-night show Foxx performed in Atlanta in early October. 

Over on the timeline, the weekend is kicking off with some seriously hysterical tweets. Today’s funniest include those about the European mind, an ideal bearer of bad news and a wife on a killing spree.

ldg @ojuledg.22h ... learning about math 57 (number) Article Talk XA 57 (fifty-seven) is the natural number following 56 and preceding 58. It is a composite number. 56 57 58 32 600 11K 141K
tomi @scrungeonmaster 16h i'm sorry is the implication that he had a lot of fun the first time N Netflix @netflix.22h First time at the Squid Game Second time at the Squid Game 465 3.1K 111K 2M
Rory Blank (a ghost) @BoneJail 14h ... I saw Jesus walking with a Minion 47 286 3.3K 229K
Jab @jab50yen 19h Came to the right place tonight BREWING MILL $8 COCK Мели Evil 16umby ALLTabs Left Open Will Be 1.3K 15 11K 184K
mo @mofromyt.1 16h lex luthor: i know it looks bad but i promise you superman this burger will change your life. NO CONTEXT HUMANS @HumansNoCont... dd world's most expensive burger 22 3K 43K 655K
KILLER MEG (Interdimensional entity..) @hor... 16h ... The year my best friend went as tobias funke and people asked if she was Gandhi 104 6 5.2K 87K
Ryan Heiniger @FarmrHuntr. 1d ... My wife is now 4 for 4 hitting deer with every vehicle she has owned since we've been married 4.5K 6.6K 196K 5.4M
Bob Vagene @PoopDollaHa... .1d ... i had a friend who's girlfriend made him put his balls in her pussy and he was like it hurt really bad and he almost started crying when he told us 5 1 1 funny baseball memes 7:29 PM 137 2,471 74.7K 2.2M
gnarly rae jepsen 1d ... just said out loud okay dishes are done and then whipped around to see a dirty pan on the stove. sisyphus i get you brother 282 3,416 35.5K
icky! @ickyburd. 1d biden giving that child an unbeatable two truths and a lie answer for the rest of their life NEW YORK POST New York Post @nypost. 1d Biden, 81, bites baby dressed as chicken during WH Halloween event trib.al/xKk2QyM GRIS GRI 119 15.9K 306K 5.6M
Crawford M Horton @broiled... 20h ... ok so this is actually not a costume POP CRAVE Pop Crave @PopCrave 22h Kylie Jenner as Demi Moore in 'Striptease' for Halloween. STRIPTEASE STRIPTEASE 775 12K 403K 11.7M
Sridhar Ramesh @RadishHar... 15h ... Ugh. I hate myself. I hate life. Fuck this shit. Everything sucks. I hope I die. I hope somebody kills me.  Oh wow. Fantastic. I feel great. Now I have the energy to kill myself. 12 186 3,045 54.7K
the pseudonymic dj @xequ... 1d ... is there a stupid questions class that europeans have to take to graduate @WZG1889 - 1d i'm sorry do americans just..drop their ballot into a random box on the street???? x.com/popcrave/statu... 605 6,866 110K 6.1M
gale na @poisonjr 17h .. just walked into publix and said smells like petco at full volume without thinking and a cashier said Yessir 7 249 5,455 del 66.3K
Jill Twiss @jilltwiss 15h ... Unpopular opinion: If something horrible has to happen to me, I think I'd rather be told i was gonna die by a guy dressed as a minion. ScholerinED @ScholerinED 1d As an ER doc, this is a hill I will die on. If you can't take your costume off in 3 seconds don't wear it. Not just Halloween either; Christmas, Valentine's Day, Independence Day... 7 86 2,127 70.5K
Steven Castillo @STEEEZUS... 55m ... It's me, Magneto y'all! POP CRAVE @PopCrave.1 1h Pop Crave Reba McEntire reveals she wants to be in a Marvel movie. MARVEL 36 573 15.5K
mr online @Absolunar 16h Wed, Oct 12 11:13 PM I'm trynna get high so high W you and then you go home You want me to go home? Sent Yesterday 5:13 AM At some point ya 141 3,027 62.7K 1.2M
Seth Pollack @sethmpk 21h City kids will trick or treat anywhere. Realtor, podiatrist, funeral home, whatever. Resilient 31 403 5.6K 134K
1973 elliott gould on the set of the long goodbye 20h ... ireland should have their own birthright thing. they'd make so much money 70 548 18K 386K
ICHIBAN BABY @DemiCaruso 1d ... Spiders watching everyone decorate their houses with fake cobwebs for Halloween after knocking down their webs all year 210 13K 84K 1.5M
athena )) @F1LTHYPOUT . 1d G Gram Look who I met! I originally was not going to vote for her, but she is a very kind lady! Grandma that's Hoda Kotb from the today show... + Text Message SMS The And 177 1.9K 80K 1.4M
MODE ST MOUSE Axe @westernunion2k-1d I Did you know Trivia Francis Ford Coppola financed the entire $120 million film out of his own pocket. Не had done the same with Apocalypse Now (1979) and One from the Heart (1981), and the failure of the latter made him declare bankruptcy. All his subsequent films up to The Rainmaker (1997) were made to pay off his debts. Quotes Hamilton Crassus III: What do you think about my boner? 9 605 8.8K 206K
Jenny Nicholson @JennyENicholson 1d I'm sorry this is the funniest headline Home > Film > News Oct 30, 2024 8:15am PT Jude Law Says 'Harry Potter' TV Show Likely Means 'Fantastic Beasts' Is Dead; J.K. Rowling Gave Him a Note That Dumbledore Sees Himself as a Monster By Zack Sharf - f X ... 59 809 24K 515K
party mom @fifimcfae. 1d ... and you used to have to wear a jacket over your halloween costume because it used to be cold in october 1K 51K 427K 6.5M
cielo @cielosplaylist . dd ... texts with my mom Sent with Siri caler GELATO Meditcremean at UNE PINE(473ML) talen DAIRY-FREE SO Alphonso Ma O:MINT MEDITE 142 TALENTI VANFDGE 10.7 YOU PAY 961311 03r $7.59 276406 YOU PAY 00107 TALENTI CA $7.59 276 A01 00109 01/03/24 mary Gar Chroco Chocol roagh Dark ПОВ Chocolate new CVS has some cold ass ice cream!! 22 1.1K 42K 436K
Bob Golen @BobGolen 1d ... It looks like you're carving a pumpkin. Would you like help? 2.4K 30K 119 da 677K
ol @oeaton14 1d Beggars can't be choosers in this life MAXIMUM 3 PUFFS PER TRICK OR TREATER HATATI'PRO MAX 17K 248K 457 9.6M
ellory smith @ellorysmith 20h But surely this wouldn't happen to me. Like my black spatula is probably fine right The Atlantic @TheAtlantic 1d A Black plastic products-such as spatulas, sushi trays, and children's toys-are regularly made from recycled electronic waste. Many of these products contain concerning levels of flame retardants-and they are leaching into our food, @ZoeSchlanger reports: theatln.tc/ZyySjeEF A Throw Away Your Black Plastic Spatula By Zoë Schlanger 1.2K 36K 1M 51
@CalvesLikeShaq 1d ... Homer when he sees marge naked SIMPSON-PUSEY 66 715 65 22K 1.2M
monica @waystarroyhoe 18h average met gala couple POP CRAVE Pop Crave @PopCrave.20h John Mulaney and Chappell Roan for SNL. 60 5.2K 145K 2M
BIG JALO @JalooThaFool. 1d UPS hire anybody big baby. @jazlynmarie____ . 1d Не for sure getting fired today. THE SURVEILLANCE ups CAU CAU 625 10K 137K 3.2M
flo willie @NOCHILLWILL 1d ... HALLOWEEN Pronoun Gluten-free antifa caramel? candy please do you have Bisexual non-binary Chocolate? treats 159 12K 104K 2.3M
Casserole Eatin' Keaton! @EvilKeaton 1d Complaining that Chipotle is too expensive is so silly when they literally have a shelf full of free food. MOBILE ORDER PICK-UP EX RED CC MAXIMUM prace - OCCUPANCY POILE 54 RED CHI Real SAA INSTE DELL FLOUR 45 FINTO ПЛОМА NATURES NE THY with D TV BEEF A-E - SOTTUNE SALT POTLE BEE T-Z J.D. Banker @DadInvest.2d Today I opened the chipotle app, loaded a tasty burrito into my cart, saw that it was $20.80 before tax/delivery/ tip, and closed the app. Chose leftovers instead. I've seen enough to call it: we're in a
tim hell. @itsTimHell.17h They was giggling down Imao FOX17 NEWS YOUR FoxNashville @FOXNashville - 19h STATION WANTED SUSPECTED SHOPLIFTERS Spring Hill PD is looking for the two suspects pictured here who they believe stole merchandise from Kroger on Port Royal Road earlier today. If you've seen them or have more info, contact SHPD. 185 3.7K 48K 1.4M
lumberjack wharfie @lumbjackwharfie - 1d yr good friend gracie @clothingweapon 1950s guy who just had six martinis for lunch, getting back into his cadillac: i wonder what my bitch wife is making for dinner housewife, completely zoomed out on lithium:  5:13 PM 11/12/23.1.3M Views 52 4.5K 40K 1.6K Marie Frances @marsh_minnow.10/22/24 If you really want to elevate your cooking skills, read older cookbooks from the 40s-70s. Most modern cookbooks don't explain cooking techniques and the science behind them. 82 6.6K 108K 3.7M

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