36 of the Funniest Tweets from Thursday, October 24, 2024

They sound so desperate… yeah there’s no way to tell
36 of the Funniest Tweets from Thursday, October 24, 2024

There’s been next to nothing good leading up to the final season of Good Omens. After being renewed for a third and final season late last year, allegations against series creator Neil Gaiman led to a production halt last month. While Gaiman agreed to step away so that the show could continue, Amazon announced just how long that would be for — a whopping 90-minutes. Instead of a six-episode season like the previous two, the Michael Sheen/David Tennant series will conclude with a feature-length single episode, truly redefining what a TV season can be. 

From the depths of Hell to somewhere no man has gone before, Star Trek: Lower Decks is also coming to an end. Paramount’s animated take on the iconic sci-fi series is wrapping up with a fifth and final season that promises some familiar voices. Show creator Mike McMahon revealed that each episode “builds on inspiration from classic Trek” with some “fun legacy Trek characters” getting in on the mix. It slipped that Voyager’s Garret Wang will have a “really funny episode,” but other possible cameos are being kept under wraps, so fans will have to wait and see if Patrick Stewart finally makes his Lower Decks debut.

This much is certain, though: The funny tweets on the timeline aren’t stopping any time soon. Today’s most hilarious include those about a woman who probably wants to go back into her lengthy coma, a daughter’s haunting birthday card and how it feels to constantly open and close Twitter.

davekat RPF @karkquette - 1d somebody get bro to the playground I WANT TO SEE SAW : 115 14K 149K 1.6M
MADISON в @madisonmbt. 1d ... UPDATE: my puppy has actually has created more problems in my life. MADISON в @madisonmbt.6/11/24 I just feel like a puppy would solve all of my problems 1.3K 13K 218K del 11M
van watches spooky movies @alejandroxpadi. dd ... My cat has a question for Cesar Catalina 41 1.5K 25K 502K
Chopped not Slopped @deadbeatat_dawn. 1d Babe what's wrong you haven't tried your glass bottle red bull CocaCola GRUPO Kola If UP pepsi 200 ml e 8692-7383 I A BY i PHG a B - intico Sex Bed llud b Red Bu жияя YOR ENERGY DRIN heymu otoia oiwyi0 www.redbull pl Zawiera tauryne Ozywia cido a 1.5K 112 22K 783K
Niccole Thurman @niccolethurman 17h ... why does asking people to hang out on your birthday feel like 125 7.3K 94K 1.7M
bri @ufobri 21h ... having guy friends is crazy bc i was crying and they told me lock in and i did 641 22K 289K 6.2M
zaphi @lollypopthot - 1d ... I go to work, I make my coworkers wonder what is wrong with me, and then I clock out 35 13K 70K 1.7M
the x^n files @EnbyHoxha 17h ... the mac and cheese wanter 60 3.8K 58K 764K
vlam @WilliamC2004 - 1d My friend called me out mid group conversation for saying master bedroom instead of primary bedroom. My blood is still boiling That one friend that's too woke TikTok @i its.michele.ok 479 4.6K 161K 3.2M
reynolds woodpussy @CANNIBALMILF. 9h real venomheads know that the lower the score the better the movie DF DiscussingFilm @DiscussingFilm.20h 'VENOM: THE LAST DANCE' debuts with 37% on Rotten Tomatoes. Read our review: bit.ly/VenomDF 50 1.4K 18K 463K
Foosballz Pod @FoosballzPod 10h DOGGRALL ... Season is so cooked he started doing 1088 C SAT prep SNY Jets Videos SNY) @snyjets. 21h Thankfully, we're not to the denouement of this season. There's still a lot of time left. It's important that we all stay as sanguine as possible. - Aaron Rodgers tic tic Atlantic System Health System JETS JETS SNY alth كريم S $ $ Cash App Cash App NY NY Atlantic Atlantic Health System JETS JETS Health $ sh App NY JETS PIX 11 0:29 NEWYORK'S VERY OWN Atianti Atlan I 28 459 12.3K 766K
Una bomb-her @longjoms... 18h ... Bank pissed me off so i took their thing VOL the 106 2,563 52.5K 757K
Sarah York @thesarahyork. 19h ... They'd have to pull me away from this like when a horse breaks into the oats supply at the stable @foodiete... ...2d Food Blogger Mini pan-fried dumplings 3 7,757 85.3K 2.5M
Keara Sullivan @superkeara 1d ... I have no problem with someone driving a cybertruck in the privacy of their own home. But driving a cybertruck in public and exposing children to the loser lifestyle? Now that's just wrong... 8 717 9,128 123K
@thinkergilmore. 1d STARS HOLLOW - - if you didn't get annoyed at every character over the length of the show then you were watching with your eyes closed TAY @moodsofa.... 7/21/23 Which character from Gilmore Girls annoyed you the MOST? 34 107 2,315 30.1K 903K
Trey @treyd3 1d i'm a top i'm a bottom okay??? i'm hilary duff and you're watching disney channel 35 3,055 19.7K 597K
????? @carolineflocka 1d ... ngl if i went into a coma in 2011 and woke up in 2024 id wanna get put back to sleep immediately Imao Bruke @BrukeFasil 1d My aunt woke up from a 13 year coma !!!!! 8 621 12.3K 164K
KAYA NOVA @thekayanova 14h Having a random hobby as an adult is actually hilarious. You'll be having a day delivered directly from hell but then gotta suck it up to get to tap class by 6:30pm. 75 3,036 21.5K del 406K
e jesse pinkman symp... 21h ... 06 Google translate english to french Images Videos Books News Maps Flights English French what the fuck is up X bon the fuck jour x Did you mean: bon thé fuck jour? Translate from: English 245 11.4K 118K 4.1M
BEEZ @bgttibz 15h Big Sean bars that didn't make 'Mercy': Rico @RicozRevenge• 1d her booty take my pain away, call that asspirin 45 3,058 18.1K 578K
Purplepingers @purplepin... 11h ... First of all, I wanna hear from the bottom official NEWS WHAT'S ON ARTS & EN Gay sex in the Vatican has 'never been worse' according to top official INTERNATIONAL 381 3,860 52.1K 1.2M
good reddit @GoodReddit - 19h ... r/Weird Join u/magic_fun_guy 11h i.redd.it This birthday card my daughter made for me 24.1k 786 5.3k + 55 755 17.1K 278K
It secretly eats roast duck @I... 17h ... my life is so much better than the kid from Hereditary's 12 1,292 9,534 217K
°э в° @Cyb4rAnGeL16h closing twitter only to open it back up again. ALUMINUM MERCURY FLUORIDE WiFi RITALIN 134 . 2.8M 18.9K 193K
Corn @upblissed.8 8h ... she seen hitler and kai cenat in the same lifetime BNO NEWS @BNO... 15h BNO News Live Elizabeth Francis, the oldest person in the U.S., has died in Houston at age 115 Courtesy LongeviQuest BNO NEWS Elizabeth Francis 1909-2024 518 12.4K 236K 5.3M
Ari Drennen @AriDrennen•1 15h I thought there had to be another explanation for why they disappear but a repairman just took apart my washer machine AND IT WAS FULL OF LOOSE SOCKS 59 155 5,393 88.1K
Tod Ashby @TodAshby 13h Getting ready to do a deep dive into Calvinism. I hope I got the right edition. THE THE COMPLETE THE COMPLETE COMPLETE calvin calvin الله calvin لحب HObbES HODDES HODbES BOOK BOOK BOOK ONE Two THREE BILL BILL WATTERSON WATTERSON BILL WATTERSON 226 754 10.4K 190K
Pokemon Gems @PokemonG... 19h ... sometimes when I'm eating I turn this episode on and pretend I'm eating with them 29 1,508 15.1K 320K
III. @ProficientMinds 1d Dryer stopped working. Had to hang my clothes up outside like it's the 50s E cc let go I often tell myself 0:09 From Velle TV 83 1,383 22.3K 392K
Hannah Al-Othman @Hannah... .6h ... How your email finds me: 20 1,235 8,927 271K
Alicia Smith @Alicia_Smith19. 1d ... Can't tell if this is an ex, or someone running for President of the United States +15046181822 1m ago I'm desperate I've got nowhere left to turn except to you. Can you help me before midnight: h... 44 1,044 26.2K 535K
gooseworx gooseworx goose... 17h ... Why do so many car headrests feel like this? 660 6,454 150K 2.2M
Jenni Tolls 8 @jenni_tolls.22h The youth long for Craigslist missed connections and don't even know it John Slayer @AtomiccPunk. 1d - جامعة Web Images Sign in Google hot girl at whole foods 10 mins ago x 16 251 4,291 105K
mau @rllydu 20h ... you wear a white shirt and all of a sudden everybody wants to go eat spaghetti 6 491 5,719 87.8K
Kristen Mulrooney @missmulr... 17h ... My dog couldn't find his favorite toy so I got on my hands and knees and crawled around the house for 10 minutes looking under all the furniture, and he was so excited for me to be down there with him, I could tell he was like YES she finally figured out how to walk 10 120 5,481 43.4K
Bore Girl @gOregirlll- 13h Y'all I'm crying at this + I paid 65 bucks for this shi 988.8K ... 9,443 94.2K 637 10.7K 165K 2.9M

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