12 Billionaires and the Name of the Boy They Get Their Blood From
Ah, blood, the elixir of life. Without it, our body would be weird — and dry. So, if you’re getting old and crusty, and are deeply terrified of death, wouldn’t you want a top-up?
For those of a certain tax bracket, it’s possible! Even if it doesn’t turn out to have verifiable medical benefits, you can still feel a little bit like the world’s worst superhero.
Braylon
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When he saw how lively Braylon looked at his alma mater’s lacrosse game, he couldn’t help but offer him money for a monthly liter of that liquid joie de vivre.
Peter
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Peter was found breaking into his pharmaceutical company’s research lab. He promised not to press charges, in exchange for a little vein-to-vein apology.
Grant
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He saw Grant out of the window of his Bentley, a vivacious young man at 6-foot-4, 220 pounds, sadly living on the street. He offered him room and board. Of course, the room in question is adjoining his transfusion chamber, and is locked except during procedures.
Ryan
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Ryan is his own son, so that’s morally… better? It’s a fair trade: allowance for a bag of that good red.
Rafael
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Rafael was working in the mailroom. He thought company-wide physicals were a nice benefit, but when he was the only healthy employee with the rare O-type blood that the CEO shares, he found out it wasn’t so generous after all.
Roger
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He’s the head of a company that promises to change the world with solar power. Roger idolized him, so it was all too easy to pry some liquid git’ up out of his veins voluntarily. He doesn’t even pay him, just lets Roger call him his “mentor.”
Justin
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The foster system in the U.S. is a mess. It’s so serpentine and poorly regulated that it was easy for one boy to be adopted by a fabricated family, supposedly out of Windsor, Ontario.
Rupert 2
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Human cloning is forbidden, of course. Of course!
Charles Lindbergh (Cryogenically Frozen)
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So that’s where that kid went.
Mr. Hiss
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Mr. Hiss is, in fact, a Komodo dragon. It’s a very experimental procedure, and it’s very not working.
E-2038
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He has no idea, but E-2038 and the rest of his pod are currently executing a successful uprising, and they’ll break free from the basement, leading to his death, by dawn.
One of the TikTok Costco Kids
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You think they got famous for free?
