32 Unintentionally Funny Things Said by Children

‘Hey girlfriend, do you wanna see my Pokemon?’
32 Unintentionally Funny Things Said by Children

Though we live in a world of uncertainties, we can always rely on children to be funny. Whether it’s intentional or not, they have a knack for saying the right thing to lighten the mood. For instance: One Redditor was on a car ride with his child, and the child asked “What’s that?” as they passed by a cemetery. When the father replied that it was a cemetery and explained that it’s where dead bodies are buried, the child sat quietly for a few minutes before following up with an important question: “Where do they bury the heads?” 

Other Redditors have shared the hilarious quips they’ve heard uttered by kids, including a little girl who was pretty confused about what a tail is.

John-Henry-Eden 7y ago e My three-year-old semi-accidentally poked her four- year-old sister pretty hard in the belly button last night. The four-year-old spent the next fifteen minutes complaining that her sister had hurt her in the uterus. + 1.4K ...
littlefactory 7y ago My five year old discovered dancing, and was dancing constantly. At bedtime: Take off your clothes. It's time for jammies. Ok daddy, but I dance while I take off my clothes. + 1.4K ...
 7y ago 0 My daughter at maybe 2 or a little under proclaimed to our family that my daddy (me) has a front tail 4.1K ...
twec21 0 7y ago Literally 5 seconds ago a little girl asked me Are you Melissa? I am a 250 pound bearded man. I am decidedly not Melissa 3.3K ...
Teh_Chap 7y ago . I was explaining to my 4 year old son what muscles are and asked him to look at my biceps. Не said hold on I need to go get my magnifying glass. I didn't even know what to say and my wife is still laughing about it. 2.4K ...
vigpounder 7y ago I guess I was three or so and pretending to work on my toy semi when I started throwing my tools and said God damn piece of shit won't start! Not much has changed. + 2K ...
rachel_mary 7y ago when i was 4, i was running around the dining room when i hit my elbow on a chair. i proceeded to tell my mom, ouch! my testicles!!! i'm a girl. 1.4K ...
MyNamelsNotRyn 7y ago MOMMY, CHECK OUT MY COOL NIPPLE Belly button. The word she was looking for was belly button. 5.9K ...
 7y ago Son's name is Skylar... daughter is 6 years old... wife was going back to college and we were talking about scholarships and we notice that our daughter is crying. I mean she's wailing and sobbing. After we get her calmed down we ask her what wrong. She says she doesn't want us to send Skylar to the moon. Wtf? Why would we do that we ask. She responds, Why else would you need a Skylar ship? 6.4K ...
bedwelld 7y ago As a child, my Brother didn't like peanuts. As a treat after dinner one Sunday we had Cornettos, my brother peeled the wrapper off and then turned to my Dad and said, Daaaaaad, can you nibble my nuts off? My aunt wet herself laughing. 8.3K ...
yehetsohorats 7y ago My little 6 year old cousin told me that his mom laid an egg and he hatched from it when explaining how he was born + 8.7K ...
claycat 7y ago At the zoo watching a Rhino and a young family is next to me...out of the blue the Rhino got an erection, something brought to my attention by the young boy yelling Whoa, Look at his weiner! Is yours that big daddy? The father turned bright red while the mother laughed her ass off. + 14K ...
 7y ago I'm a mailman and one day a little girl came to the door to get the mail. She looked up at me with a big smile and said thank you, whaleman! I spent the rest of the day thinking about how much more interesting of a job that would be. 12K ...
He_Was_Just_A_Ham 7y ago . Went to McDonald's once and headed for the bathroom. Just before I opened the door this small child busts through with his friend and he yells I ain't washing my hands, I'm a baaad boy! This happened 4 years ago and I still laugh about it. + 9.5K ...
RyFi17 e 7y ago Uncle had a tick in his ear when we went camping. my nephew pronounced tick as dick and would not stop shouting uncle toms got a big ol dick in his ear over and over again. + 12K ...
scottydoeskno 7y ago I worked as a teacher's assistant for a year and I have a weird last name so I got the kids to call me Mr A if they couldn't pronounce it, but some kids still tried to say their interpretation of my name. One of the kids said, Mr A im gonna start calling you mr avocado. Because i cant remember your last name, and i dont like avocado. 9.3K ...
SuddenlyAshley 7y ago So my almost 4 year old has a speech delay, and she pronounces horse as whore and she has a my little pony toy that she takes everywhere. Anyway, she dropped it in Walmart one time and I didn't notice and was walking away (she was in the cart) and she yells MOMMY MY WHORE! Get my whore!! Oh god I laughed so fucking hard, as did a lot of people around me. Obviously had some nasty looks, but whatever. She thinks she says horse. We're working on it. + 15K ...
fooduvluv . 7y ago One little girl asked her friend, Does your mom have a baby in her belly? (the woman was quite overweight). The kid says, Oh, there's every possible thing in there
fooduvluv E 7y ago o One little girl asked her friend, Does your mom have a baby in her belly? (the woman was quite overweight). The kid says, Oh, there's every possible thing in there
pablo_pogo 7y ago Me: How old do you thing Grandpa is? 5 yr old nephew: erm....12 Me: No, he's actually 62 Nephew: OOooh, he's going to die soon Me: 8 + 18K ...
OnyxAce 7y ago e I once heard my son (Who'd just watched the old star wars series) ask my grandfather (British WW2 vet) what side he fought on in The war and my grandfather responded with The Empire My kid cried for days because he thought his great grandfather fought for the galactic empire. + 17K ...
TheAnswerlsGrey 7y ago . Edited 7y ago 3ish year old girl on a airplane loudly announced my daddy left me and mommy...and I don't know where he went. Then she pointed to her mom's tummy and told everyone there is a baby in there too. The mom had to remind her to tell the rest of the story, that daddy had taken another plane to a different city for work, but would be meeting up with them in a few days on their family vacation.
Princ3ssP3n3lop3 7y ago . We were bringing lunch to the teachers at school and my daughter announced that we made a special soup for Mr. S because he's a virgin. Mr. S is a vegan. + 30K ...
 7y ago My partner's 5-year-old daughter was watching me do my makeup in the mirror and she said You look like an angel. That's the sweetest thing she's ever said to me, so I gushed like a teenage girl and thanked her with a big grin on my face. Then she elaborated: You look like you're dead. + 24K ...
 7y ago My niece was 3 when my nephew was born... She came up to me and my girlfriend when we visiting my sister in hospital and said so am I not allowed to punch the baby in the head? + 21K ...
 7y ago My 7 year old son slept on the top bunk of a bed with his brother down below. He's a bit of a tank and was hitting around 28kgs. One night he asked me to put him to bed, and I said mate, you're getting really heavy, I'm not sure that I can lift you all the way up that high anymore!. Не looked me straight in the eye and said Dad, you just need to believe in yourself. + 23K ...
angelasroses 7y ago . Edited 7y ago I used to work in a preschool, and a little boy heard me say that one of my friends was visiting Baltimore. The kid immediately gasped and went you aren't supposed to say his name!! Не thought that Voldemort was named Baltimore, and was horrified that someone I knew was visiting Не Who Must Not Be Named. I didn't correct him. + 2.1K ...
pinheadmaximus 7y ago Family went to Olive Garden restaurant. Waitress delivers the obligatory bowl of salad with the salad tongs. I proceed to start mixing up the salad with the tongs. My 4-year old daughter sits up and stares into the bowl and then looks up at me and asks, What are you looking for? + 34K ...
kingdeuceoff 7y ago My wife and I take our children to see Santa in Macy's NYC. We have a five year old boy and a three year old girl. We get on the elevator to go up and my son says to a twenty something girl as she gets on ... Hey girlfriend, do you wanna see my pokemon? + 541 ...
NeckroFeelyAck 7y ago Edited 7y ago 'Dad what's that?' 'Thats a cemetery' 'Whats a cemetery? 'Thats where they bury dead bodies' 'Oh' (A few minutes pass) 'Dad?' 'Yeah?' 'Where do they bury the heads?' + 11K ...
 . 7y ago Driving through lowa with my 5 year old. There's like 100 corns here, daddy. + 6.8K ...
Friendaim 7y ago My daughter when she was 3 walked into the bedroom wearing a shirt, undies, no pants, Barbie high heels and a carrier bag on her shoulder. I asked her where she was going and she says to work and then to weight watchers 1.3K ...

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