12 Little Puppies and Which Dictators Would Own Them

This puppy’s favorite scent is that of the man responsible for the death of tens of thousands of civilians that dared to oppose his presidency.

What better fur-baby for the man that banned all foreign trade in Paraguay than a Border Collie?

The joy this pup feels when he hears the jingling of his owner’s many medals on his return home might be tempered if he was capable of understanding the same man was the Butcher of Uganda.

This little furry friend had no idea how much of a political message he sent every time he chewed up Franco’s boot. His behavioral issues would have been an inspiration to the people of Spain.

Scary guys and adorable dogs is a combination that can’t go wrong. Well, outside of Noriega’s violent, secret control of Panama.

The Golden Retriever is an American classic. Mobutu is another American classic: a dictator installed after the Western-assisted assassination of a democratically elected leader.

Dogs love structure and a tight schedule. His dog would probably say something like, “Say what you will, but I always get walked on time.”

This puppy likely doesn’t share his daddy’s megalomania and cruelty. He does have a cool mustache like him, though!

Explaining why this little cutie should be Mao Zedong’s dog would probably get me thrown in jail in China.

Puppy pictured here on the farm Rosas was exiled to as punishment for his execution of Argentine citizens during his rule.

This puppy’s head just perked up because he heard the gunfire of his mommy and daddy being executed by firing squad due to their role in genocide.

Boring, I know, but he can’t not make the list. Like Hitler, the Dalmatian is a dog haunted by both obsessions with bloodline purity and myriad health issues.