32 of the Funniest Tweets from Wednesday, October 2, 2024

There is only one true Kermit
32 of the Funniest Tweets from Wednesday, October 2, 2024

If you’ve ever wanted to have a little pillow talk with Michael Che, you may soon get your chance. When he’s not stuck behind the Weekend Update desk, the Saturday Night Live news anchor has been workshopping a late-night talk show called Don’t Sleep with Michael Che from Manhattan’s City Winery, the nebulous concept of which is said to feel more like John Mulaney’s Everybody Loves L.A. than The Tonight Show. Should Che successfully package and pitch the show to networks, he would join the likes of Seth Meyers and Jimmy Fallon in continuing the long line of SNL alums taking on a weekday late-night gig. 

Meanwhile, FX is all in on Sterlin Harjo. The network ordered the Reservation Dogs co-creator’s currently untitled new drama, which will take place in Tulsa, Oklahoma, with Ethan Hawke in the leading role as a “guy who knows too much.” No further details have been released.

Over on the timeline, no workshopping or development is necessary — the comedians there are just letting it rip. Today’s funniest tweets include those about an abstract relationship status, a philosophical six-year-old and secret Nicole Kidman.

Tumi @Tumi213.- 1d Nobody forgets the first time this happened to them. Your life flashes before your eyes Amke. @amukelani_02.1d i didn't know cockroaches could fly???? 444 14.1K 104K 3.4M
gwen ellis bell @wuthrinheights - dd ... I am looking for a wealthy husband!! About me: - 27 years old - no money - no prospects - а burden to my parents -frightened 170 11.7K 100K del 1.8M
Stephen Hopkins @phil_lol_og... 21h ... Thank heavens for community notes Bojan Tunguz @tunguz 17h We are selling our baby trebuchet. We only used it a couple of times. PM me for a quote. Readers added context @CNviolations This is not a baby trebuchet. It is a baby catapult. Trebuchet has a counterweight dictionary.com/e/trebuchet-vs... 172 3,801 34.4K 950K
zach silberberg @zachsilberberg.1 11h ... worst online experience has gotta be finding a reddit post that outlines your exact symptoms and every comment is like you should go to the hospital and someone says any update OP? but the OP hasnt posted in 5 years 8 101 3,777 del 44.3K
-;- @htvzn 23h i'm smarter than the host BBQ Chiefs @BBQChiefs. 1d The Trailer for Are You Smarter Than A Celebrity? has dropped CG TRAVIS KELCE Hello, everybody I'm Travis Kelce, and welcome to Are You... 3 2,680 63.2K 1.5M
YOOM/BONNIE @jani... . 1d ... you could not pay me to delete this app + 583.1K ... 2,304 22.7K X 2,304 comments baby stein the girl with the pearl airpod 130 13.1K 261K 2.2M
julloween (justine) @scr... 1d ... oomfs it's almost the one year anniversary of this photo kira :) Today at 7:53 PM hey, so like... can you stop posting goku on instagram and twitter?? have a friend who ships herself with goku, and when she saw your accounts she literally had a mental breakdown :/ppease do everyone a favor and private yourself or delete everything. you're being selfish and insensitive. she thinks goku hates her now and is cheating on her so pls do what's best and delete everything or go private poke-a-joke Today at 7:55 PM dawg what 954 10.4K
Community Notes Violations 1d ... ??? The_Titans_Vision @TitansVision If the woman really loves the man, as soon as her genitals reach the man's, she silently sucks up his organ within herself. @CNviolations The man has no need to make any effort. If the woman's love is strong, her body sucks up his organ as air is sucked up into an empty space. D NEWS Readers added context they thought people might want to know what the fuck? 532 7,440 184K 3.7M
Tolu Of Canada @Not_... 1d ... 5 Precious @temyyszn 1d 9-5 again tomorrow, When will it end 272 6,629 65.2K del 1.5M
roby @bumpasshell 15h why aren't you my wife yet 12:39 PM Idk what to tell you Take initiative 1:18 PM •Sent you seem taken not literally but in an abstract way 1:42 PM 25 720 10.8K 185K
Kiss my Fat Ash @Tobi_Is_Fab.1d ... My 6-year-old asked where the music goes after we listen to it. I didn't know whether to go into how sound waves travel, or explain that music isn't tangible in the way he might think. Maybe this is just a philosophical question. Where DOES the music go? 2,504 7,762 101K 2.4M
Boots, 'with the fur' @afraidofw... 1d ... Subject: Re: Noise complaint Dear Neighbor. I realize I've made this excuse before, but I'm serious this time. I'm going to kill myself tomorrow-if you could let this one last farewell party ride, I would appreciate it. (Next morning) Subject: Bright New Dawn Great news, 3 487 7,443 154K
bi-onic rad-neck @danielleradf.... 1d ... Megalopolis is a lot of things, and one of them is like if Baz Lurhman made a Batman movie but lost the rights half way through production 88 1,101 19.6K 734K
Ozzy @ozzyetomi 1d I'll never not be amazed by how quickly people fall in line when the internet decides you're the next most hated. all too larky @oft... 3d girl.... these are NOT good pictures to promote a hair care line 982 8,242 174K 10M
ellis @sum1saiditinnit-2 23h he's in the denial phase Salone Bobo | Career... 1d Losing women romantically is hilarious, oh no I've lost the opportunity to pay for everything- how will I survive??????? 205 7,822 111K 2.4M
Mr. Chau @Srirachachau.1 1d ... Overlook Hotel July ath Ball 1921 Coosa LIGHT So you come crawling back, you cheap sack of shit. FILM PIPORTES Film Updates @FilmUpd... 1d Daniel Day-Lewis has seemingly come out of retirement. ... 15 553 9,751 481K
Swimma @rachie8aa 1d .. We cannot all be trying to head home at 5:00PM. We have to start going home in groups 638 25.1K 230K del 7M
mrs papaw @mrsballs69.22h ... eco i This billboard speaks to me INJURED? HAVE YOU DEAD? ARE YOU FUCKED UP? WHATS WRONG WITH YOU? Ghenanca -Set Fall doro ID - CRUCCE HOA 20 992 10.9K 281K
Work Retire Die Finday @WorkRe... 1d ... Congrats on hitting your Q3 numbers. Here is an even bigger Q4 number that you will be fired if you don't hit, you fucking moron 42 1,589 27.3K 1.5M
drusilla @nocturnalbones. 1d ... Does everyone in their 30's have the same core memory of when someone made them listen to Dance With the Devil by Immortal Technique in a car or 244 905 4,798 286K
saw facts @sawfacts . 1d they gave me a fuck ass bob 4F DiscussingFilm @Discus... . 1d First look at Billy the Puppet in Fortnite. GAME OVER 670 24K 288K 7.6M
Kristen Mulrooney @missmul... . 23h ... Drove by a daycare and my 4-year-old said That's where I used to go. I told her she's never gone to daycare and she asked Then who took care of me? and I said I did if any parents were wondering if anything they do matters. 227 2,082 82.5K 2.2M
(200)) Jack II @childishb... . 1d ... i'm built different. like incorrectly ithink - morkegaming 7 2,726 26.1K 772K
niecy nyash @devilisalyer . 1d ... I remember when I had to leave the class crying cause someone said boo boo the fool real name was booboolius j foolious j 371 11.6K 110K 2.3M
$ Dan Toomey @dhtoomey.21h ... CE PRI $ HOPENTOWORK 31 2,431 49.4K 1.2M
lucyfree @_lucyfree 1d kermit the frog is more iconic than mickey mouse bc if u heard someone was named mickey u'd just be like ok sure. but if someone said their name was kermit u would be like huh ????? like the frog ????????? 150 6,634 106K del 1.3M
Janel Comeau @VeryBadLlama.2 22h ... me reading the all-staff friendly reminder email that is absolutely about me 17 2,181 33.8K 623K
Chris @cdmukasa.14h a comment George Santos @MrSa... 14h Walz is falling so hard he resembles a comment entering the atmosphere... 17 931 47.8K 986K
William Shatner @WilliamS... .14h ... Not after reading this. Bleeding Purple Guy @Bl... .19h Replying to @WilliamShatner You good Captain? Copilot Here are a few more notable celebrities who have passed away in 2024: William Shatner: The legendary actor best known for his role as Captain Kirk in Star Trek, passed away at 93. 2,660 6,820 93.4K 2.4M
Wendell @RhodeToLove 17h why is there a second, secret Nicole Kidman on letterboxd Nicole kidman x Cancel Ims Reviews Lists Cast, Crew or Studios Memb Nicole Kidman Star of 118 films including Eyes Wide Shut, The Killing of a Sacred Deer and The Northman Nicole Kidman Star of Troglejuice and GARP 66 704 36.3K 487K
chase. @cfree94.23h ... had to call my bank's customer service line and they asked the security question (the name of my first significant other) and i said the man's name and the girl on the phone said oh! how interesting! 30 434 28.4K 566K
Zombuddy @budbuddyguy - 1d ... Please stop slamming into the back of my Dragula. My insurance rates are so fucked, please stop. 50 6,464 32.3K 625K

Tags:

Scroll down for the next article
Forgot Password?