12 Pictures of Guys With Ponytails and What I Think They Do for a Living

Developing a generative A.I. that writes jazz. Both coders and jazz musicians are trying to have him killed.

Selling fish bait that he taste-tests himself.

Working the front desk at a gym that accepts Bitcoin, drinking a smoothie that looks like a hoarder’s aquarium.

You can hire him to test the strength of your marriage.

I can tell you what his job is not: reading.

Electric bicycle repairman.

Moderating a male fashion subreddit, has never posted a photo of himself.

Owns a bar that he’ll have to sell due to employee harassment claims within the year.

Private equity, but he tells everyone at Burning Man he does “boring money stuff.”

Inventing a new kind of electric bass. He has no electrical engineering or fabricating knowledge, but has some drawings to show you if you want to “give feedback.”

Currently being sued because the activated charcoal health drink his start-up sold nullified consumers’ anti-depressant medication from being properly absorbed.

He’s Native American, and he hates these guys more than I do.