55 of the Funniest Burns from the Month of September 2024

Everybody noticed, dude
55 of the Funniest Burns from the Month of September 2024

Though fall is underway, a heat wave persists. I’m, of course, referring to the digital burn victims from the month of September. Every day, Twitter’s most ruthless users dole out roasts that are worthy of Hall-of-Fame status, and given the state of the world, it’s our duty to laugh and gather them up for your viewing pleasure. 

Whether it was the Minecraft trailer, Eric Adams or the entire state of Pennsylvania, these were the most brutal, hilarious burns we encountered last month.

malcoholic @lepetitereboot. 21h MEN WORKING Kay @KaylarWill. 1d Ladies what's yall fav sign for a man? I wanna know! 56 3.8K 12K 506K
Future Winfrey @CaressLepore 2d They look like people dressed up as Wendy and Charlemagne SinnamonSCouture @SinnamonCouture. 2d Wendy and Charlemagne were truly a moment! Whew you can tell that they had a time!!!!! DED bee G Con 1949 432 10K 92K 2.7M
Peter Raleigh @PetreRaleigh 1d ... Truly no offense to him but this is like learning that the role played by Antonio Banderas in The Mask of Zorro was originally offered to, say, David Schwimmer V Variety @Variety - 1d David Schwimmer Says Rejecting 'Men in Black' Offer Was a 'Brutal Decision' and It 'Would've Made Me a Movie Star'; Не Chose to Direct a Film Instead variety.com/2024/film/news... 57 1.1K 22K 885K
@PEACHYBLACKG0RL 3d they should add this mohawk to the charges Tev @TevRebranded . 3d 34 years old x.com/el_budget/stat... 1.2K 21K 165K del 7.7M
Carter (Chilling) @Absurdosic 3d There is no greater kiss of death for a NFL team than a fat comedian showing up to their home games NFL @NFL. 3d NFL Shane Gillis in the building for the @Eagles home opener EAGI IGLES W WHY YC S SOMETH NEVER D 39 1.3K 76K 11
@katehasinsomnia•2 2d it's like trying to communicate with a kindergartner 10:58 LTE zzz Tanner < NEW TANNER Why are your boobs big ME i i keep riddles inside of them 358 7.1K 196K 5.4M
no @plznoah 3d ... idk about you guys but i'm super excited to see katy perry for $25 on her next tour POP FLOP Pop Flop @PopFlopHQ.3d Katy Perry's new album 143 drops in 4 days. -There is currently no hype for the album. 99 493 15K 815K
Lxl Awacc @comptonasstre 3d i'm not settling down W nobody named Gretchen. i'm sorry IlyDari @ilydari0z . 4 4d Just wait til i settle down Gretchen 995 4.9K 54K 2.9M
Sherman McCoy @wasphyxiation - 1d Putting this on my Volkswagen David F. @NJGuitarBoy . 4d Replying to @elonmusk This sums it up. Bought it before we knew how awful he is. 477 9K 247K 7.8M
aLec robBins @alecrobbins - 1d ... you gotta separate the art from the artist. like, for example, sometimes the artist is really nice but their art sucks 151 4.6K 66K del 1M
i make beats t @DonDadaNYC. 1d ... Tshego what waist m @_tshego_m . 2d Raw bacon is so good! 282 25K 370K 11M
Ghost City Press @GhostCityPress 1d GHOST CITY DO NOT tell the poets PRESS Pop Base @PopBase.2 2d Earth is set to temporarily obtain another moon on September 29th. The asteroid known as a 'mini-moon' is expected to make a single orbit journey around Earth, ending on November 25th. 26 502 3.7K 118K
Saddington 3 (in production) @2Saddington 17h when I bought these the cashier gave me a promo code for Better Help LIMITED EDITION EDITION OREO OREO ZERO SUGAR KOREO Coca-Cola ZERO SUGAR 10 LIMITED EDITION Mini Cans Coca-Cola OREO Fizzy Cookie Flavored ZERO SUGAR 10-7-5-FL 07 ml SCAN EBESTIEMODE ENERETOS UNLOCK OREO Coca-Cola Coca-Cola WITH POPPING CANDY ARTIFICIALLY FLAVORED SERVING SIZE 2 COOKIES serving 140 85mg 12g 2g ADDED SAT FAT CALORIES SODIUM SUGARS TON DE 4% DV 24% DV SLIT APPEARS WHEN OPENED SANDWICH COOKIES NET WT 10.68 OZ (303g) 120 34K 1.4K 992K
horse massacre @torqpenderloin 13h ... i'm the guy who created all the rideshare areas at america's airports and i'm clinically insane 7 51 1K 23K
Morne Lalvo @20Kylies . 2 22h IK you couldn't wait to tear up them oranges at halftime DRUSKI @druski . 1d MORE LIFE R RUSSELL S 633 14K 257K the 8.3M
auntie Neeka @astoldbyneekz 22h ... Не look like the fish off SpongeBob that hid the pickles under his tongue CHANEL @chaanelgogetit - 1d #NewProfilePic God There 926 6.1K 72K 4.1M
Larisha @bylarisha 4d kind of comforting to know that no matter how bad of a day you might be having, kendrick lamar is going to make sure drake is having a worse one POP CRAVE Pop Crave @PopCrave.5d Kendrick Lamar to perform at 2025 Super Bowl Halftime show. i NFL SUPER BOWL 359 42K 466K 9.6M
caleb @calebstark 1d because he can't <3 Page Six @PageSix - 1d Page Six Britney Spears' ex-husband Sam Asghari reveals why he did not read her memoir trib.al/IcOHi9G 30 1.5K 50K the 1.2M
Advit @advitwake.3d Pushing 30 and not having a career outside spider-man is crazy levels of washed Pop Base @PopBase. 3d Tom Holland is officially returning for Spider-Man 4. Al MARVEL STUDIOS 14K 22K 348K 47M
Got СТЕ from playing Peek-a-Boo @doulbedoink.2 2d ... Не looks like Zachary Quinto playing Hasan Piker NEW YORK New York Post POST @nypost.3 3d 'Friends' alum Adam Goldberg slams show for its 'insane' lack of diversity: 'Incredibly unrealistic' trib.al/ ObjtdL3 We Trade Security Four 5 8 963 37K
oily footjob pls @vt1nz. 3d N E why are you eating like you live in minecraft Yuta @ylevi . 4d Lunch 112 9.8K 189K 3M
Scott Sweeney @SkipSeasoned 3 3d He's in seventeen fast and furious movies but learned nothing about family DF DiscussingFilm @DiscussingFilm 3d Tyrese Gibson has been arrested for failing to pay enough child support. The judge has handed him an opportunity to avoid jail time if he pays $73.5K within 48 hours. (Source: hollywoodreporter.com/news/general-n...) 527 21K 224K 8.8M
gabbi (toxic version) @its_GOP.4d whoever did this to the patriots cheerleaders is diabolical imagine being excited for new uniforms and expecting a cute skirt and instead get handed the paul revere starter pack 87 411 10K 417K
Miami Vice Apologist (extraction 3 #1 fan accou... 4d ... I love the modern television trend of me not being able to remember anything that happened from the previous season that was released 2+ years prior DF DiscussingFilm @DiscussingFilm - 5d 'PEACEMAKER' Season 2 will officially release in the second half of 2025. 646 9.3K 138K 4.9M
Rob Fox III @RobFoxThree 4d ... Mahomes and Kelce look like the dipshit henchmen in a Jason Statham movie. GUCCI ULCC 1.9K 9.7K 172K 6.5M
mkb @MatthewKBegbie 4d I, for one, just learned that Pasek and Paul look like they do pranks on TikTok. DF DiscussingFilm @DiscussingFilm.4d Benj Pasek and Justin Paul have just achieved EGOT status. They are the minds behind songs from 'La La Land', 'The Greatest Showman' and 'Only Murders in The Building' 14 347 13K 350K
caro @stylesgala 4d ... oh i just know these three never shut the fuck up Shark CREW VA BEAUTY A J.C h 40 3.4K 87K 1M
kae @starwarsfur 44 kanye west with a microphone in his hand while the entire country watching is 100% a national threat i cant hold ya LMFAO AKW @allkanyewest.5 5d RESPECTFULLY YE WOULD BE THE GREATEST HALFTIME SHOW OF ALL TIME. NFL 1.2K 44K 15M 515K
Bolu Babalola is genuinely on leave & @B... . 4d ... His estate should sue Lexa @nosebooplor . 6d close enough. welcome back freddie mercury 3 197 5.2K del 144K
Pander Shirts @PanderShirts 5d this is just breakfast in england Medical Talk @TheMedicalTalk.9/4/24 A gallbladder with multiple gallstones 63 4.3K 40K 1.5M
Pookie @PookiesParadise 4d y'all gotta stay off them youtube shorts Sosa @ihysosa.4d y'all not ready for this conversation 554 18K 10M 416K
WE'RE BARAC waka fawksa flame @dumbledonk 4d this is america's final punishment for ww2 Mike Golic Jr @mikegolicjr. 4d Germany, look away. NFL Munich Game NFL Net ny 11/10 Giants Panthers 0-0 0-0 6:30 AM Gamecast Tickets Play Fantasy Football 134 7.9K 118K 6.9M
m @mar3uss 3d *bath tub k. @blkwatcher.3 3d they should be at the club :( M.G.W TARE NET CU CAP. 3.7K 147 87K 1.7M
M.E @Emmys9/5/24 ... Told my 56-year-old coworker that I'm a bit anti-social and he said yeah I noticed that about you, you don't necessarily light up a room 1,302 18.9K 357K 8.4M
- annie :-@lesblannie-2 2h ... chappell should have been gay famous not mainstream famous straight people ruin everything 37 2,147 19.7K 212K
Liv @Liv_Agar 2h There is nothing funnier to me than Christians who are actually afraid of Halloween 81 620 9,603 del 119K
م و abbie @mattysbff.18h Piss off a bisexual girl and the first thing she does is posts lyrics from 1975 a song. Girl fuck you AND Matty Healy 2 403 3,543 87K
soren @finnereaux. 17h ... Lmao this is one evil ass photo goddamn William H. Holla @here2_b... . 19h x.com/phil_lewis_/st... 0 llow OT OR DIE! 24 1,765 8,139 278K
Jane Schoenbrun @sapphicspi.... 3h ... MEGALAPOLIS is the movie equivalent of when u go to an old person's house and it has a weird smell 42 354 8,504 251K
Cohen is a ghost @skullmandi... 6h ... chappell roan was a lotta people's new favorite parasocial cuddly toy and then she went hey I'm a person give me some space and also here are my extremely reasonable political opinions and some of the Can't Make a Phone Call Squad are really struggling with that 102 7,624 61.5K 941K
cmdibley @cmdibley 1d ... A little boy in Target this morning came up to me and took my hand. 'I've lost mummy. Can you find her?' 'I'm sure I can.' 'Mummy said that if I get lost to find someone who looks like Grandma and I will be safe.' We found mummy. I guess the plan worked. 790 8,266 231K 6.3M
goth ms frizzle @g0thgoblin 19h ... being intimidated by your girls vibrator is insane. why are you scared of your sous chef... 241 3,130 49.8K 1.4M
Bonolo @bonolo_rm 9h Their best, they're doing their best HRH N*mp*** @Nampree. 1d My friend just got her PhD. She is now a DOCTOR!! What are your friends doing??! 38 8,784 32.7K 736K
Brooklyn Summer @BrooklynSummer_ 1d She is serving Serbian granny from a lost village madonna ... ESARVE AVLENPRIN 19 AVC EMCOSICIVLI COLONIAX 34 995 17K 344K
Маделейн. @normalmadeline. 23h the best part of all of this was that nobody ever mentioned the movie ever again Pop Base @PopBase. 1d 2 years ago today, 'Don't Worry Darling' premiered at the Venice Film Festival. FRED MOSTINA INTERNAZIONALE THE FESTIVAL MATOURAFICA NSIDER TO FB 31 2.3K 1 55K
esra @1989healy. 17h Не looks like a dipped teabag be so fucking serious Tiffani @PALLOTAYVIS 20h Не ate with this fit 49 763 27K 664K
gavin ivanovich @gmoult . 2d ... every city in pennsylvania is named like its 1892 Minersville Factoryville ork St 8 E Main St Oil City Mechanicsburg W Main St 114 E Simpson St OIL CITY SOUTH SIDE HISTORIC 459 4.7K 95K 2.3M
will @siteprotagonist 1d poly people are NOT waking up at 8 am Tori Thee Goddess @ComfyGoddess.2d MONOGAMY POLYAMORY 8:00 8:00 MORNING BEAUTIFUL MORNIGN HONEY! MORNING MY LOVE:** GOOD MORNING CHUBBY WAKE UP, SWEETIE! HAVE A GREAT DAY BAE! LOVE U, PUPPY :D ELS_COMICS 368 3.7K 121K 2.7M
PointlessHub @HubPointless 2d ... It's Jumanji but fucking terrifying to look at Minecraft @Minecraft. 2d Be There and Be Square. #MinecraftMovie - only in theaters 2025. A CRAFT V 24 TEASER 39 32K 1.6K 522K
Dollip THE BIRTHDAY GAL @DollipDaze 2d she looks like a republican's wife that was progressive in college but changed her mind when she got money 2.9K 49K 747K 186
Reevie @reevierat. 2d *curb your enthusiasm theme plays* DiscussingFilm DF ... @DiscussingFilm Jared Hess says his live-action 'MINECRAFT' movie aims to avoid an ugly Sonic situation. I just can't disappoint the 10-year-olds, or they're going to murder us. (Source: sltrib.com/artsliving/202...) 4.8K 342 74K 1.3M
mia @arrivalleneuve 1d joaquin phoenix left likely thing for him to do FILM UPDATES Film Updates @FilmUpdates 1d Joaquin Phoenix left the #JokerFolieADeux Venice premiere a few minutes before the 11-minute standing ovation ended. 0:05 17 738 20K 503K
harrison @harrisondubay.2d Child Left Behind Woah Vicky @woahhvickyyy 2d Why does democract have the word demon in it Readers added context It does not. merriam-webster.com/dictionary/dem... Show this note 28 1K 22K 738K
char @marshalssoup 2d why are these the only faces rob mcelhenney can do 10 201 3.9K 68K
KILL @broztitute 22h that chicken died for nothing Don Julio. @ItsLungadonsa . 1d Chicken briyani 695 21K 253K 7.4M

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