43 of the Funniest Tweets from Friday, September 27, 2024

We’d all tune in to watch this
43 of the Funniest Tweets from Friday, September 27, 2024

Celebrities may have been marked as safe from Joan Rivers’ no-holds-barred roasts for a decade now, but the fiery comedian’s spirit continues to live on. In fact, Dead Funny and Melissa Rivers are preparing an All-Star Tribute to Joan Rivers to kick off the 20th annual New York Comedy Festival next month. Nikki Glaser, Michelle Buteau and Rachel Brosnahan are just some of the names who will roast the late comedian and fundraise for one of her favorite charities: God’s Love We Deliver, a meal service for those too ill to cook for themselves.

Meanwhile, Donna Kelce offered some interesting advice to her son Travis as the NFL superstar tries his hand at acting. The Kansas City Chiefs tight end is getting some actorly practice reps in with Ryan Murphy’s latest psychosexual, otherworldly crime thriller Grotesquerie. About Travis’ acting debut, Mama Kelce noted that parental instincts lend themselves to cleaning up their kids’ messes, “but sometimes it’s better to just let them fail.” Although she commended her son for always trying new things, it’s safe to say she doesn’t think an Emmy nomination is in his future anytime soon.

Another piece of sound advice is to check out these hilarious tweets — hell, your mom might even find a few of them funny. Today’s funniest include those about the sacrificial onion layer, the carabiner you can’t tread on and some real horsepower.

A Boggie Wit daudi @Weeeeen... 1d ... Sacrificing the first layer of the onion to avoid unnecessary struggle>>>>> 301 19.7K 195K 3.2M
Chölo Sevigny @xXnarcissistXx 20h ... Me with the actors in a haunted house 365 ART GIRL 11 396 12.3K 298K
C Roy Wood Jr- Ex Jedi @roy... 14h ... Costco said don't drag me into this shit. Renee @PettyLupone.20h I AM SCREAMING!!!!!!!!! A spokesperson for Costco tells TMZ ... none of the company's U.S. locations carry baby oil, even though Diddy's attorney Marc Agnifilo previously claimed the rap mogul may have bought the item in bulk at the members-only warehouse retailer. 45 403 4,295 178K
Austine @theereal_one 1d ... first time it did this i thought i woke up in hell Araaa @shawntifying.1 1d Yall phone ever did this? .... 14 APRIL 12 11 1 SMTWTFS 10 2 1 2 3 4 5 6 9 3 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 8 R 7 5 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 6 28 29 30 538 15.3K 167K del 6.1M
Dalton Deschain & the Traveli... 21h ... now, using the power of AI, we can finally unlock the possibility of charlie brown having hoes WOKE DEI NAYSAYER 1d Y'all know she calls him Charles. Looks like Charlie Brown has a new Boo 44 1,692 37.7K 1.3M
McRib @McR1B69.23h ... Chappell Roan should tear up a picture of the pope when she goes on SNL 79 2,321 36.8K del 807K
johnny @kudosdunce. 12h it insists upon itself actually being the perfect way to describe so many things 8 295 4,387 57.6K
lina @evermoresivy 9h lana del rey picking a husband What the hell, sure. 178 2,837 52.8K 829K
LESEDI @_Hybreed_. 1d ... Redd @ReddCinema 1d how do u say ??? in real life 58 11.5K 53.1K 4.6M
gale na @poisonjr 1d ... i like that Mike Wazowski was polish for no reason 57 1,259 26.4K 633K
carl @NightlifeMingus- 15h ... possibly the worst burger i have ever seen. not a single good decision on display STA3 STIUS A LA CARTE 59 145 4,564 99.9K
Jenni Tolls 8 @jenni_tolls.23h ... Republican cousins from Ohio are visiting next weekend and want to 'see what my Brooklyn apartment looks like' Estrogen Sex before Marriage Lab Lounge weed Trans smoking Bathroom Gay Room Patio (boy)wife kitchen abortion 12 281 7,716 169K
Peter Twinklage @Pete... 21h ... who wants to go to the Four Seasons Istanbul? Eric Adams: 20 1,480 28.2K 786K
estel imane @REGINAVGEORGE - 1d ... REDUCTRESS MAY 24, 2021 'I Love Reading!' Says Woman Who Loves Owning Books By Estella Van Sant @REGINAVGEORGE PIZZA ICTION Kate BeastieBoys Bush ART How yoo QU To Be DO Invisible BeastieBoys Book BeastleBoys Book INTERIOR DESIG MICHAEL INNERS THE - New Un LEWIS AKE ALL SUBTLE ART OF - - THENT - NC f THE FIFTH RISK Zucked ROGER MUNAMEE LEE - - - AMERICAN THE SOURCE OF MESSIAHS Hard to SELF REGARD Love - - TONI - Deport ASUN MORRYS MORRISON MIGHT EGRET Hgt TO Change THIS Your Mind - 60 5,447 49.8K 1.6M
charlotte bancroft a.k.a. elly dj 18h ... COME AND TAKE IT Kit:) @normallOve.22h if u have an email job go ahead and take that carabiner off ur pants. be serious 2 502 7,860 200K
CDTVthaGoose @CDTVPro....23h ...  Now, I don't know what the hell this song is talking 'bout FALL OUT BOY, THIS AIN'T A SCENE, IT'S GENIUS AN ARMS RACE (KANYE WEST REMIX) tiddymelk @ufunnyafb... - 1d HATE when someone is featured on a song and they go complete off topic from the original concept 42 1,708 26.8K 1M
drew janda @drewjanda 1d ... What's been fun about out this is that every time someone shits the bed in society my notifications go crazy drew janda @drewjan... 12/11/23 The haters said I couldn't do it. And they were correct. Honestly great call from the haters 19 746 17.6K 501K
ugly childrens @uglychildrens 1d ... My ex-boyfriend's bike that he locked in front of my apartment 2 years ago and never came back for 95 613 19.6K 697K
Krown City King @KrownCityKi....1 1d ... A reality show where boomers apply for jobs using all their own outdated advice and compete to see who lasts longer before breaking down completely... 334 8,451 81.8K 2M
media from the camera roll of... 1d ... 5G HORSE A horse made of 5G energy has been appearing on our lawn & staring at our home 82 6,015 84.2K 1.6M
Leigh Giangreco @LeighGiang... .20h ... I want to throw myself out of a window enprece when I read old reporter's memoirs from WWII because they're like I was a high school dropout in rural Mississippi when I walked into my local newspaper and they asked 'How'd ya like to go to Paris, kid?' And so began my 80-year career. 303 4,049 82.2K 2.7M
S @propaganda91.22h Cinderella.... 223 6,171 66.2K 2.2M
.0 just bit Greentext Reposter @Gree... - 15h ... Anonymous Anonymous 05/04/22(Wed)19:00:06 No.2543988 file.png 75 KB PNG >genie light comes on >wish for infinite wishes >engine explodes shouldnt have tried to fool him >>25439915 # >>25441515# >>25444652 # >>25447053 # >>25455269 # 27 1,916 38.6K 723K
Zen Ren @zenbyhand 1d ... y'all my partner didn't grow up in america and just found out tonight that buffalo wings aren't called that because they're meant to look like rained-on buffalo in the bright red mesas he invented an entire lore???? 17 65 1,474 40.5K
GOOPert Gottfried @arielleaty.21h ... Mayor jovan @ehjovan 2d who is hiring in nyc? i i need 350k a year and i have no skills and im not likable most days 21 3,254 56.4K 1.4M
Jefferson @VirginiaPosting.20h This guy looks like if Islam originated in Cuba Žarówka @BivouacChillin 23h It's so weird to see this guy on Fox News. Не looks like how gay furries draw Bowser LIVE MERICA'S NEWSROOM MERICA'S NEWSROOM AURANMA TYRUS FOX NATION HOST FOX NEWS ND SCHOOL BOARD VOTES TO STOP PLEDGE OF ALLEGIANCE channel 85 3,681 50.7K 1.9M
Teagan tell me Wy stan Acct(... 15h ... A real man never speaks ill of LIFE'S TOO CHI R Trill Withers @TylerIAm 18h Eating garbage and acting surprised when you feeling bad>>>> 2 115 723 79.5K
Wasted Water Pipes @PeaceRo... 1d ... A hit from the jong on the jofa would cure me 200 7,869 77.3K del 2.9M
Anita Mahn @jes_dll.19h 7:11 77 Post I Pray for the Carbz...From Day to Day ... @sissythatpatch I would let anyone smash right about now 4:42 PM 5 5/6/24 From Earth h.3.4K Views 30 Likes 3 Bookmarks #1 vivi of loona defender is LUMI... 2h genghis khan?????? 1 6 333 I Pray for the Carbz...From Day to... 2h ... Come on bruh like what sense does this make 18 2,781 36.4K 604K
carmeb @therealcbrad.14h I hope this email kills us both 90 20.1K 78.6K del 1.5M
nat @dunstz - 20h ... Molly gordon and Rosalia: Katrina Waters @MsKat... 1d People say we're alike, that we fucked the same bear 15 951 19.4K 537K
david ehrlich @davidehrlich - 1 15h I feel so bad for tv critics. Ryan Murphy makes so much stuff. 25 299 5,812 del 177K
jay @cervidswag 19h ... no way french is a real language LA CIGARETTE CAUSE LE CANCER 299 6,279 99.8K del 2.1M
rev @whyrev. 21h ... Move over pete davidson there's a new sheriff in town GALA 21 @21metgala 21h Jeremy Allen White and Molly Gordon in Los Angeles. 156 4,314 104K 3.5M
mrs papaw @mrsballs69.1d ... un - This is so beautiful 818 16.7K 266K 7.5M
Snullu Connoisseur @herman... 21h ... hello please call me on my bhone (bunny phone) 57 2,689 18.5K 379K
Bree @DuasDancefloor .1 1d Oh cannibalipa... Post Dua Lipa Hungary @dlipahungary @DUALIPA tells @iHeartRadio that her favourite Christmas tradition is cooking her friends and family 66 1,896 25.1K 607K
Florence @FreonCat. 1d ... Is the 2nd image like his album cover or something why was it included Dexerto @Dexerto.2 2d New Mozart music from the 1760s has been found in a German library WHOA 77 4,484 132K del 2.1M
Courtney Ellis @courtney... 20h ... The pediatrician: What do you eat at your house? My 5yo: MOSTLY NACHOS Me: I mean, that's not ALL we eat, hon. 5yo: YOU ARE RIGHT. WE ALSO EAT COSTCO PIZZA 90 223 9,435 164K
solé @layxsnv 21h ... Arguing over text will have u like this in a random place 106 6,664 45.6K . 1.2M
@FSUmollz.22h Molly Don't shoot your gun at the hurricane the government says. I'll do my own research thanks 29 464 9,754 390K
abby monteil @abbyemonteil -1 1d ... applying to harvard with a 1.5 gpa FILM PORTES Film Updates @FilmUpd... 1d Marvel will be campaigning 'DEADPOOL & WOLVERINE' for awards consideration, including acting categories: Ryan Reynolds for Lead Actor Hugh Jackman for Supporting Actor (Source: variety.com/2024/film/ awar...) 95 2,358 71.4K 2.2M
warrior cop @wyatt_privilege 1d I hate how people pile on chiropractors just because they're fake and dangerous 125 3,045 66.6K del 2.2M

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