33 of the Funniest Tweets from Monday, July 22, 2024

Does the club have a lumbar pillow?
33 of the Funniest Tweets from Monday, July 22, 2024

Despite outlandish Sex and the City plots that included a brief tryst with a water-sports-loving politician and a run-in with a shoe-loving mugger, Carrie Bradshaw isn’t going on a date with Mr. Bean in Season Three of And Just Like That. As the sequel series shoots its latest installment, fake notices have popped up all over Manhattan detailing some rather bizarre plots. One notice claims that Carrie hired Jim Carrey’s Liar, Liar character after a hit-and-run, while another has Carrie admitting to being Garfield (yes, that Garfield).

No one has taken credit for the hilarious street art yet, but we can safely rule out Kim Cattrall, as the actress shared she won’t be returning to the show this go-around. 

Speaking of fictional advice columnists, Andie Anderson once set out to teach women how to lose a guy in a little over a week. If you’re wondering what she’d think of next, that answer may arrive sometime in the near future. During an appearance on Watch What Happens LiveKate Hudson revealed that she and Matthew McConaughey have spoken at length about returning for a sequel to their 2003 rom-com How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days, and that “all that matters would be the script,” which echoed McConaughey’s thoughts on the matter back in 2020. 

Anyway, here’s some real advice: Check out these hysterical tweets if you want to start off your week with a good laugh. Today’s funniest include those about a squeaky clean memorial offering, a glass closet and one strict Uber driver.

Collie @collie2b . 1d ... I can't be the only one who feels let down whenever I open a game case to this D SWITCH NINTENDO HERCULE POIROT LA-N-AYZLA-USA 1,436 1,693 29.9K 643K
@RICKYRAGE.1 1d can film a whole marvel movie in that bathroom Owenn @Owen_player1.4 4d shut the fuck up I cleaned the mirror x.com/Owen_player1/s... egwe piv enillso E - D tauto bnA BRUSH your TeeTH 67 7,333 174K 2.1M
lunacy @_Iunacy- 1d why does he look like tyler the creator Mike Truk @WpgHotDog. dd 141 6,773 94.4K 1.5M
no context memes @weirdd... 17h ... albert @albert12798 . 3d ... what was the question? Sam Octane Larew @Octa... .3d SHE SAID YES 1,072 14.9K 227K Jeffery Perkins @JefferyxBball-3d will you marry me? 24 908 3,563 albert @albert12798.3d ... ?? no 50 3,146 88.4K 1.5M
chefkids @girlflopping- 1d ... what if we all just made new movies with new plots FILM PIPORTES Film Updates @FilmUpd... 1d Kate Hudson says she and Matthew McConaughey are both open to returning for a sequel to 'HOW TO LOSE A GUY IN 10 DAYS.' (via @BravoWWHL) 156 14.2K 173K 3M
SLUG @generalslug 15h this is what medieval artists thought crocodiles looked like Mike Truk @WpgHotDog. dd 61 7,309 134K 1.7M
Roy @CaeDios 1d these are things squidward himself would paint Remy Boydell @slimgiltsoul• 1d my friend is having some kind of squidward Related midlife crisis 17 5,386 72.8K 902K
mikey @mikey_747. 1d That's definitely bread Jeff Soon2B Bezos @J... .4/8/24 mayonnaise or jam? CG 27 3,869 140K 2.7M
dinosaur @dinosaurs1969.1d ... every morning i wake up to a main quest marker 235 13.4K 294K 2.4M
@marantmuse 1d ce n'est pas erica @sourhoestarter girls on tik tok after paying $100 on depop for a 2006 abercrombie henley 14 680 14.8K 214K

 Image provided by Cracked

Sword @MasterSwrdRemix. 16h guy who has to turn every discord message into a joke AeroArtwork Today at 5:32 PM | need that list again Sworb Today at 5:33 PM santa after checking it once 156 7,201 118K 1.4M
lib @ChezzasSoldierX. 1d the closet was literally glass lib @ChezzasSoldierX.7 7/20/15 #GrowingUpaCherylstan getting weird looks off everyone who came in your room because of these CHENN 10 150 10.8K 569K
collin @collinofthe219 - 1 1d Couldn't believe my fuckin eyes yesterday LOS HELL YEAH BHOTHER At CLUB sac 16 331 3,069 154K
Smol Cat @OneSmolCat-1d ... ISN'T THIS BEAUTIFUL? W DRIZUNG Ha THIAH RAVIOLIBOI SON AREN'T YOU GLAD YOU CAN SEE? ND.ORG 15 3,439 25.7K 377K
gabby. @xogabbyelle_.16h CNN hitting a button & teleporting Wolf Blitzer mid mimosa to the studio is literally the funniest thing ever. 18 3,047 34.6K del 410K
Gem + o @Fluerchuu• 1d ... How do people sleep naked like what if a ghost fingers you?? 2,513 15.2K 129K 3.6M
ava! @F41rygirl - 1d  yes i would like to party 44 14.1K 91.5K del 1.8M
Catrina, CEO of Asajj Ventress 17h ... We're at the computer history museum today and I just had a visceral reaction to the retro gaming exhibit 252 ANOS PlayStation 2 PlayStation.2 FINAL CANTASY X Grand theft auto OTTE worldwede I Photograph The time CO liamy SONY DVD ACH FSF ROM And properlis PLAYSTATION 2 outself Servy / support accessary to - decided and - 30 the - - bestselling graphics - - the worldweled Playination Ninterals I - the With home - Converiable - signature console and Swhich - system million doubles party 1 - Ado units Y - - - SanAndreas OK A
IT GIRL @aliyahInterlude - 10h ... bruh why was i singing a song in the uber and the driver was like nah u havin too much fun and changed the song ???? 79 364 8.8K 148K
Ashtyn Butuso @lil_buts 14h My bf bought CFB 25 at the same time | started watching Love Island USA and we have not seen each other in a week. I don't even know if we're still together 23 423 18K 747K
Owen @miseblock 14h ... Reading in bed with the weed pen resting on the other pillow 23 2.4K 27K del 716K
alan @dvlingz 1d ... reading a book you dont enjoy but wanna finish it anyway A$AP conrow @ogcon... 4/8/24 Whats harder than this? CC . EF EST 280 27.4K 216K 4.3M
Motivational Pictures With Re... 17h ... Dad is killing it in the family gc My meme for today: In case of emergency Break glass F Ceiling 11 241 9,226 147K

Image provided by Cracked

clifford carmichael @former_gc... 2h ... I asked my grandma if she had a hard time moving to nyc from Poland as a teen & going to hs in bk knowing 0 English, & if ppl didn't wanna be friends W her, etc. & she held my shoulder & looked me in the eyes & said, Austyn. I was gorgeous. Everyone wanted to be my friend 18 329 10.2K del 160K
noob dog @noobdoggy 1d ... This is still the best image covid ever created 63 1,139 32.8K 390K
Nefarious Bits @BitsHammer +1d ... conan-doyles-carnations Follow 'In 1778, two Irish gentlewomen put on men's clothing and ran away together. Lady Eleanor Butler had received several offers of marriage but was determined to share her life with her friend Sarah Ponsonby.  They spent the rest of their lives in a black and white house called Plas Newydd outside Llangollen, cultivating their garden, improving their minds and filling the house with clocks, cabinets and whirligigs of every shape and hue.  a little dog called Sapho.' blottsandquill Follow Friend 206 5,992 69.2K 747K
Moringa @tostoneside 21h ... Now they need to perform beautiful liar Pop Base @PopBase.22h Hillary Clinton endorses Kamala Harris for President. 59 1,956 20.2K 676K
Young Prince @YoungPr... 19h ... You do fanduel picks too ? starheal @starheal-8/11/20 Kamala Harris will be 60 in 4 years. I see her running for President in 2024 since this coincides with her Saturn return. 92 3,718 19.1K 1.2M
i have never heard of philoso... 16h ... When I was a teenager working in the deli they wouldn't let me slice the prosciutto cause it was $19.95 a pound, it gave me respect for prosciutto 3 27 1,231 del 17K
ava! @F41rygirl . 19h i would do absolutely anything for my friends except answer their text messages 87 7,523 31.1K 639K
Tommy Bayer @tommybayertime 1h ... woke up in the middle of the night to write this down < Notes ... Done Babies in strollers on a racetrack getting their diapers changed really fast by nascar guys 19 164 3,275 54.8K
Dr Greenbean @trash_ebooks.3h ... marking you down as none vittorio @IterIntellect... 1d my political ideology is whatever leads to this 9 124 7,170 92.2K
@bigdawgbully1.2h Boy yo daddy could've sold me a heart attack at age 13 and i would've asked for it for Christmas Billy Mays III @infinitethird.2h lol just got to pittsburgh and someone left oxiclean at my dad's grave BELOVED HUSBAND FATHER AND son BILLY MAYS 1958 8 - 2009 - PITCHMAN OXI CLEAN 76 - IF TEARS COULD BUILD STAIRWAY . AND MEMORIES A LANE PD WALK RIGHT 17.TO HEAVEN WRING YOU HOME 28 3,275 17.3K 481K

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