38 of the Funniest Tweets from Friday, July 12, 2024
![38 of the Funniest Tweets from Friday, July 12, 2024](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/6/6/0/1113660_320x180.jpg)
One would naturally assume that Ellen DeGeneres was “done” after her very abrupt shift out of the spotlight following allegations that painted her as “one of the meanest people alive.” But even with a canceled talk show and crumbling empire, the comedian wasn’t actually done — until now, that is. During the Santa Rosa stop of her Ellen’s Last Stand… Up tour, DeGeneres gave a status update on her career, telling the audience that “this is the last time you’re going to see me.”
That means if Pixar wants to make a Dory sequel, they’re going to have to reach out to someone else to voice the affable blue tang.
Rest assured, though, we haven’t seen the last of Donatello, Michelangelo, Leonardo and Raphael. While plot details are still under wraps, Seth Rogen provided an update on his take on the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and the follow-up to 2023’s Mutant Mayhem. The Sausage Party creator told Comicbook.com that there’s already a title, an animatic and a storyboard version of the whole movie. Although Rogen couldn’t share the title with anyone else, he “stood up and cheered” when he saw it pop up on the screen. Viewers will be able to experience the same excitement come October 2026.
We also got our fair share of tweets to close out the week, and they’re quite the laugh riot. Today’s funniest include those about Joe Biden’s Ross-like gaffe, a friend who should clean more often and the reason house parties aren’t as popular as they used to be.
![Grant Brisbee @GrantBrisbee 19h ... that must have been a really long game Baseball Reference @b.... 19h Today in 1985, Nolan Ryan became the first pitcher to record 4,000 strikeouts. obe Life Field ОТАЯКО 38 274 13.1K 403K](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/5/9/2/1113592.jpg)
![Josiah @bed_jartlet98.1 15h ... Yesterday a girl at work said I just don't want the colonisers to win. Go Spain! about the Euro final this weekend 941 5,159 124K 4.4M](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/6/1/5/1113615.jpg)
![Vivid Void @VividVoid_ 19h Self-fulfillment needs Solo walk home lasting approx 40 nt Psychological mins on a needs warm evening as the sun is Basic beginning needs to set 41 5,885 43.5K 1.1M](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/6/1/0/1113610.jpg)
![PikminLuffy @PikminLuffy·2 21h ... It's absolutely insane that someone has this tattoo on their body 103 1,824 25.5K 457K](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/6/0/8/1113608.jpg)
![Sam Saulsbury @SamuelSauL... 19h ... Should we still make good movies? We'll have to wait and see how 'Stupid Movie No One Would Want To See' does at the box office NASA Dan Mcfadden/Apple TV+ Can Movies for Adults Still Sell Tickets? 'Fly Me to the Moon' Is a Test. The throwback film is the kind of movie that isn't supposed to succeed in theaters anymore, at least if you listen to franchise-obsessed studio executives. 5 MIN READ 19 254 3,745 90.1K](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/6/0/0/1113600.jpg)
![:( @itsoverkitten . 1d I am wasting away my life and I have horrible posture and I'm too scared to drive on the highway 175 17.2K 111K 2.5M](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/5/9/9/1113599.jpg)
![Blaque Zinfandel @ClassyAlwa... 1d ... X 'IDon't Want Somebody in My House' By Claire Landsbaum Duke @gmakLVG.2d What happened to house parties 35 5,230 33.1K 1M](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/6/0/1/1113601.jpg)
![Bre'on @_BayBey 1d Bitch, I thought this was Adam Sandler Tennis The Letter The Tennis Letter @T... . 1d. Novak Djokovic for Vogue Adria. VOGUE SUMMER 2024 N°005 THE GREATEST OF ALL TIME Novak Djokovic 302 7,418 88.1K 1.8M](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/6/1/3/1113613.jpg)
![dille @nescartridges 1d Bro I'm American this is 15 minutes max noah @kayvonbanks... 4d Can you eat this in one hour with 100k on the line? Culver's E WELCOME To DELICIOUS' Culver's THE NEED. CULVERS.COM WELCOME JAE OUS Culver's® 332 2,472 44.7K 828K](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/6/1/7/1113617.jpg)
![Orwell & Goode I $TREN @O... .1 1d ... I would torture this dude in a shipping container for up to a year Lewis @black_earth1 Oct 19 Show this thread would you date him has lots of house plants wants to travel the world trying to learn french can't cook always hugs you from behind loves knows coffee a lot of random taller facts then you gentle with 278 3,511 60.3K 2.4M](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/6/1/2/1113612.jpg)
![Brooks Otterlake @i_zzzzzz 15h My wife wants me to stop referring to every person as a fellow inmate in the prison of flesh 12 211 2,283 60.2K](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/6/1/8/1113618.jpg)
![beef bowl @AGoldmund. 1d What about like...hate island 293 8,551 65.7K 4.2M](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/6/0/9/1113609.jpg)
![ryo I-/ @ryothecreator. dd ... my boyfriend just compared me ovulating to when the minions turn purple and evil 236 8,747 162K 3.9M](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/6/0/5/1113605.jpg)
![blythe @1TSONLYR1GHT.1d LMAOOOOO x 1,283 comments Cat Barry Keoghan looks like Dylan Minnette's bitmoji 1d Reply 4,201 View 64 replies 32 781 30.8K 521K](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/5/9/6/1113596.jpg)
![Travis Woods @aHeartOfGould 19h ... I thought this was going to be a small standee for my desk. His the las any WEM and every MILE 9 SEAGELOVE S Tim You PACINO 12 SEAOF LOVE I and - DE ТОЛЕ RICHARD GERE in BREATHLESS STEREO - - WITH MCCS La CHACK I MARINE 43 73 1,318 50.2K](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/6/1/1/1113611.jpg)
![Dildo Baggins @EmmaTolkin 16h ... Them: I hope this email finds you well! How the email finds me: 23 0:20 38 3,529 21.3K 486K](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/6/0/4/1113604.jpg)
![Dan Canobbio @DanCanobbio 22h ... The homeless man outside the CC supermarket watching me ride the coin operated horse after I told him I didn't have any change J A #FU 184 5,518 68.2K 3.4M](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/6/0/2/1113602.jpg)
![M1das @M1das_OW2.1d elon is gunna get like 2 million dislikes and remove the feature cause he got upset Dexerto @Dexerto . 1d X/Twitter is reportedly testing a dislike button X 102 4,467 85.3K 1M](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/5/9/1/1113591.jpg)
![Women Posting W's @wom... 21h ... Well, looks like Matilda Jones, aged 7, is the new ruler of Great Britain sorry I don't make the rules comwallive.com Schoolgirl finds sword in Cornish lake where Arthur left Excalibur Matilda Jones, aged seven, was paddling waist-deep in Dozmary Pool on Bodmin Moor when she came across the blade By Charlotte Becquart 82 3,168 40.6K 440K](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/6/1/9/1113619.jpg)
![Beautiful Mountains @luxardo_...* 1d ... Why hasn't anyone bought tickets to the baby screening of Longlegs yet LONGLEGS 2024 R 101M ALL BABY DAY SHOW SENSORY FRIENDLY TODAY TUE 7/16 12:30PM BABY DAY SHOW THE SCREEN SENSORY FRIENDLY с is C is с с is is is с 12 231 5,220 175K](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/6/0/6/1113606.jpg)
![Will Donnelly @Will_Donnelly. 4h ... What were the recent events?? DUE TO RECENT EVENTS OUIJA BOARDS ARE NO LONGER PERMITTED ON THE PATIO ALT 22 141 1,071 34.8K](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/6/0/7/1113607.jpg)
![Edward Ongweso Jr @bigblac... 19h ... at least once a week I laugh to myself thinking about how he got asked how many genders are there then replied at least three then when asked to name them said don't play with me Brandon Streussnig @Brn... 21h Remember when Biden said listen here, Fat.. to that guy 59 2,842 60.4K 2.5M](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/6/1/4/1113614.jpg)
![TATIANNA @TATIANNANOW.1 18h One time a friend of mine was cleaning his hot mess of a room and found a whole rotisserie chicken under his bed. I didn't answer his calls for 2 days after he told me that. I needed space. 82 456 10K 300K](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/6/1/6/1113616.jpg)
![dunt @hehehehlolhehe• 1d If I'm high don't put no dude named Kevin around me 70 1,691 15.2K 621K](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/6/0/3/1113603.jpg)
![@tinndfishmon... 20h ... jawn didion My proposal for the Democratic presidential ticket: 32 715 10.3K 319K](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/6/2/1/1113621.jpg)
![via @talkwallets 15h i just have no words left Comments 1,357 Likes 8,232 Friends 2h Gypsy Rose Blanchard Left Ryan March 23rd, had a period April 17th, made love with Ken and only him April 27,28,29,30 conceived on May 4th and @shawtychu positive test on May 24th. KENIS THE FATHER 122 1,634 46.2K 1.7M](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/6/2/0/1113620.jpg)
![josh terry @JoshhTerry • 22h finding out that some people choose to watch movies at 2x speed has chilled me to my core. not to sound hyperbolic but how do you live with yourself 260 3,060 42.9K del 994K](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/5/9/3/1113593.jpg)
![MtH @ FUNNY RAVE: FROZEN... 1d ... this is one of the best informative graphics ive ever seen btw something something goes poorly goes well worry suffer suffer about twice once something don't suffer don't worry about suffer once something 192 11.5K 98.6K del 2.2M](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/5/9/5/1113595.jpg)
![no context memes @weirdda... 1d ... You wake up in 2060 for 10 minutes and you get ONE google search, what are you going to look up? nickiminajfan666 13w women kissing 7,797 Reply ice_saitama 9w Digusting 20 Reply nickiminajfan666 8w @ice_saitama cleanup in isle my pants 300 Reply 97 2,931 89.6K 2.3M](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/5/9/4/1113594.jpg)
![Consumer Time Capsule @co... 15h ... Consumer Time Cagania The Big Mac: the most iconic burger, the most iconic hat. (1984) M @consumertc 52 692 6,237 187K](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/5/9/8/1113598.jpg)
![alison lohman @ActwithAlis... 2h ... did not get paid enough for this close-up BeatlestarGalaxian 4/28/23 Who's the hottest anyone's ever been in a movie? (horror edition) Alison Lohman in Drag Me To Hell (2009) x.com/houseofchaos18... GIF 201 492 10.3K 388K](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/5/9/7/1113597.jpg)
![Nefarious Bits @BitsHammer 1d ... Man develops app to reveal what women look like without makeup MakeApp Man Develops App to Reveal What Women Look Like Sans Makeup nymag.com Jamilah is 34 @JamilahLemieux Men who have actual relationships with women usually know this because they see us without makeup and even naked sometimes. 59 5,686 91.4K 710K](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/5/8/8/1113588.jpg)
![no context memes @weird... 19h ... Large SILENCE, playlist Same 5 songs is talkinc 128 16.4K 156K 2.2M](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/5/8/4/1113584.jpg)
![Haus of Decline @hausofdecline 3h ... GODDAMMIT AMELIA BEDELIA, THIS IS NOT WHAT I MEANT WHEN I SAID 'SUBWOOFER' ALT 79 2,039 21.2K 353K](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/5/8/9/1113589.jpg)
![mattie lubchansky @Lubchan.... 17h ... do you think the end of the roman empire felt this boring to live through 119 1,199 24.9K del 566K](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/5/9/0/1113590.jpg)
![Justin Myers @theguyliner. 19h take thee, Putin... ALT 171 4,865 46.3K del 2.4M](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/5/8/5/1113585.jpg)
![Devin Duke @sirDukeDevin 1d ... Seeing Andrew Tate responding to Elmo, yes Elmo, is just the most pathetic thing I may ever witness. Elmo @Elmo Mar 8, 2023 Happy international Women's day from Elmo! 4.8K 23.5K 612.5K Andrew Tate @Cobratate Mar 8, 2023 You have poisoned the minds of young boys for generations. Vilifying masculinity and what it means to be a man. May you and your Sesame Street become reduced to a pile of burning rubble. Up yours vile creature. 854 3,362 30.4K 838K](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/5/8/7/1113587.jpg)
![Tara Jane O'Reilly @tarajaneo... 19h ... Biden just did the political equivalent of saying your exes name in bed 12 1,280 27.1K 662K](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/5/8/6/1113586.jpg)