32 Unbelievable Lies People Got Away With

‘Necrophilia is genetic’
32 Unbelievable Lies People Got Away With

Lying is one of the few personal freedoms we still have. I mean sure, if you lie hard enough it could be a “crime” for which you could “go to prison,” but there are also plenty of harmless lies you can fire off without it getting to that point. For instance, one Redditor, who described herself as “about as Chinese-looking as you could get” weaved a tale involving “peasant revolution, traveling mercenaries and shipwreck” to convince an entire classroom of kids that she was half-Jamaican.

Other Redditors have owned up to the biggest lies they’ve told that they still hold dear, including a scam that Apple definitely caught on to after the fact.

fourfuckssake 12y ago Edited 12y ago In the fifth grade I thought it would be cool to convince the class that I had nerve damage in my right arm and couldn't feel anything in it. Every time I told someone this they would test it out by jabbing me in the arm with a pencil or pinching me or even outright punching me and I had to sit there with a straight face to keep up the lie. I was not a bright child, most painful lie I ever told. They bought it though. 397 ...
Bonzer_Time e 13y ago I convinced one of my co-workers that scallops were the midsections of seahorses. She actually cried thinking of all the cute little butchered seahorses. 46 ...
cenicos 8y ago A friend of mine has a running lie going with the hairdressers. The first time he went in there they thought he sounded American and asked if he was from there. His brain must have massively trolled him at that point as he replied Yes. Now everytime he gets his hair cut he has to talk about how much he misses America and how different England is whilst pulling off a terrible accent. It's been like 4 years... He's in too deep. 141 ...
qwertysac 8y ago Edited 6y ago got married 4 years ago. There's this guy at work who's one of THOSE people. The type that keep asking you when you are planning on having a baby once you're married. Since we didn't really have much in common and he heard i got married, that's the only thing he could come up with to start a conversation. It was just water cooler banter. kept telling him when the time is right... but he still kept asking me every time i ran into him. So, any kids on the way? Hey, expecting any
privateryguy 8y ago In elementary school I told everyone that I was allergic to bees so that when a bee came near me and I ran away their thought was it's a life and death situation not that pussys afraid of bees I moved away in middle school, maybe 4 years later, and didn't retell the lie because I had overcome my fear of bees 576 ...
cogitoergognome 13y ago In 4th grade, a friend jokingly bet me that I couldn't convince our social studies class that I was half-Jamaican. (I'm fully Chinese and about as Chinese-looking as you get; think a less attractive Michelle Kwan in glasses.) I did, via a convoluted and highly detailed story that involved a peasant revolution, travelling mercenaries, and a shipwrecking. Ya mon. Friend paid up in fruit-by-the-foots. 32 ...
foreverhalcyon8 13y ago Edited 13y ago I have a huge scar on my back from surgery in my childhood; from one side all the way around to my chest. It's stretched and looks crazy. Since I'm from the Northern California coast, the vast majority of people I'm acquainted with after high school think that it's from a great white shark attack while surfing as a child. I've gotten so deep into the lie that I have formulated the entire situation in my head and can recite the scenario perfectly. It's now a lie I can't undo. 860 ...
Nacho_Average_Libre 13y ago My dad died when I was little. When I was in college I felt that I'd explained this enough for everyone to know so when my room mate asked what happened to my dad I (totally jokingly) told her I was a test tube baby and I never had one. I'd forgotten all about it until last year (four years later) we were at a bar and I mentioned something about my dad. She thought I was joking and made an off color joke about 'my dad' in front of a bunch of friends. The table turned
zachaboi 13y ago My great aunt lives in the village in Wales that Tom Jones was born and grew up in. Whenever he comes up in conversation (not very often) I tell everyone that he always comes to the annual summer BBQ my aunt has and brings his secret recipe coleslaw. Everyone thinks i've met him countless times. I haven't. 256 ...
UnholyDiver 13y ago When I was a kid, I told my classmates my dad played for the Chicago White Sox. Instant popularity. 697 ...
squidbill 13y ago I had a warrant out for a failure to appear. There were about ten people in my parking lot just hanging out and drinking. A cop rolls up as I walk out and asks if this is Squidbill's house. I put on the poker face and say Yeah, but you just missed him, he went to the store to get more beer. You want me to tell him you guys are looking for him? Не said no, they'd catch up with him eventually. And that's how I stayed out of jail for another month. 959 ...
LeConnor 13y ago Edited 13y ago I once told some kids lighting fireworks at Devil's Lake State Park that I was an off duty park ranger and that if they gave me their fireworks they wouldn't get officially reported. They gave them to me and let me search their backpack and I said they were good to go. And that is how I impersonated a federal officer for my own gain.
LEIFey 13y ago I told someone that I was a Norwegian exchange student and they believed me for 2 years. You should know that I'm Chinese and I'm from Philadelphia and I don't speak Norwegian. 714 ...
bradalay 13y ago My friend and I were ransacking a construction site for signs to decorate his room with (we were 15) and before too long a cop pulls up and asks us what we were doing. My friend freezes up in fear (he was too young for a license), but I found a talent I never knew I had. Without skipping a beat, I thanked the officer for coming and explained that my dad was in charge of the site and had received reports that people were stealing from the site. Не asked me to come and clear out
lesserantilles 6y ago I needed some more gym credits to graduate high school. Sorry, I was busy taking a language and music class for 4 years and I was on a school sports team, but it wasnt good enough. Luckily we had an option to take online classes offered through a Mormon university. So I took jogging online. Which meant I swore on a code of honor to actually do the jogging. Which mean I sent the Mormons a spreadsheet of miles I didn't jog so I could graduate high school. 3.2K ...
Paladin_IPG 6y ago I accidentally broke a window when I was doing target practice with my crossbow in the backyard. So I told my dad that someone threw a rock threw the window while i was inside making food. I planted the evidence, aka, found a big ass rock outside and brought it in and made the hole a bit bigger to fit. 2.5K ...
TheConflictPigeon a 6y ago . Edited 6y ago Our local news station announces school closings for snow and ice. Apparently they believe anyone who emails them. I was the principal of ten or so different schools. Ended up getting like 4,000 kids outta School the next day. 1.8K ...
 6y ago I was 20 when I got my first internship. I was eating lunch when everyone in the office started talking about their pets. Someone asked me if I had a pet and I reflexively answered yes. No idea why my brain panicked and did that, but it's weird to say yeah I have a dog. I mean...no I don't. So I just went with it. Turns out, there are a lot of pictures of cute puppies on the internet and it makes a great excuse to leave early when Chester has an appointment with the vet. 5.5K
LimeLizardz 6y ago One of my teachers in 8th grade gave me a 0 for a project I didn't turn in. I told her I did it and handed it in. She said that she felt bad that she lost my work and that I wasn't getting credit for all of the effort I put into the assignment, so she gave me 100 for a project I never did. I'm a goody two shoes, so the fact that I did that AND got away with it still blows my mind to this day. 2.7K ...
junkeee999 6y ago Not biggest, but most amusing. My wife and I were in Mexico, stopped at a convenience store to get some snacks and stuff. The clerk told her how much it was, in Spanish. My wife looked confused for a moment, so I repeated the total for her in English. I could tell it made an impression on her. For a long time after, when talking about foreign language she would tell people how quickly I pick up on it when travelling. I know this was when she first formed that opinion. I've never told her, I read
13a841 . 6y ago I got pulled over for speeding, 70 on a 45. I spilled my water bottle on my pants, before the cop walked up to my car. I told him I was trying to get to the bathroom, and he told me to go. 6.7K ...
jpterodactyl 6y ago I told some people in my elementary school there was a secret level in super mario 64. I was jealous that everyone had a nintendo 64 and my family couldn't afford one. So I convinced people not only that I did have an N64, but also that I had found a secret level that they didn't know about. 9.7K ...
nabokovsocks 12y ago I convinced a boy at school that Necrophilia was genetic. 100 ...
myusualavataristaken . 12y ago I had my ex-fiance of four years absolutely convinced she continually fell out of bed. She was fairly light so on average once a month or so I would lift her out of bed and put her on the floor. She only woke up once whilst I was doing it and I told her I was putting her back in bed. 278 ...
 12y ago A college girl from Oregon once asked me what language they spoke in Canada, and I replied Canadian. I told her I spoke Canadian, she believed me and asked me to speak it, so I started speaking an unintelligible language and she was amazed. I wonder if she ever found out the truth. 1.3K ...
fartsn1ffer 0 12y ago e Edited 12y ago I got the original iPhone for my birthday years back. I dropped the son of a bitch and shattered the screen two days later. I felt horrible, so I won't home and connected it to the charger and 15 minutes later proclaimed that the charger had somehow shattered my screen while I was away. I called AppleCare and they said they had been having reports of this happening. My jaw almost hit the floor.
Blahblkusoi S 12y ago My brothers and I, in middle school, convinced a kid that cats were illegal now because of the high amount of allergic people, and he'd have to take his cat down to the police station to get it registered and deported. 704 ...
Rowley_Birkin_Qc . 12y ago Told a guy in secondary school that I was colour-deaf. Не would randomly shout colours at me for about 2 years and I would pretend to be oblivious. Fun times. 1.1K ...
eothins 12y ago That I was Amish and on rumspringa 616 ...
 12y ago Me and a friend convinced this girl that Haggis was a real animal, indigenous to Scotland. Like a pig/sheep cross breed whose hind legs were bigger than its front ones. It roamed the hazy moors of Scotland like a lopsided, majestic emperor. 392 ...
Emperor_Pupienus 12y ago I told my elementary school principal that I had firecrackers in my pockets because my grandfather had instructed me to use them to scare off any woodland creatures that might attack me on my way to school. The principal, wanting to expose me as the liar I was, dialed my grand-dad and asked if this was true. Grand-dad backed me up & chewed out the principal for challenging his parenting methods. 887 ...
DeaconPDX 13y ago 00 My fiance still believes that a giraffe's tongue is poisonous. 52 ...

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