12 Trivia Tidbits for Tuesday, May 21, 2024
We’re slightly over-indexed on whale facts in today’s batch. Barring some unforeseen dearth of non-cetacean facts, you have our word that you won’t read a single tidbit about whales, Wales or Wall-E for the rest of the week.
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Ancient Sky Creatures Were Way Freakier Than Ancient Ocean Creatures
The blue whale is the largest animal on the planet, and also happens to be the largest animal to have ever lived. It’s kind of a bummer that we’ll never find some kind of ancient super-whale. But in the sky, 67 million years ago, there were basically flying giraffes: the Quetzalcoatlus is often compared to a fighter jet.
The Nile Used to Be Way Closer to the Pyramids, Which Explains a Lot
Weirdos attribute ancient pyramids to aliens, because it’s hard to imagine ancient humans transporting huge blocks of rock over vast distances. But there’s increasing evidence that the Nile was once as close as half a mile from the Giza Pyramids (and four other pyramid clusters). Engineers would have been able to use the river for easy transport, and may have even built a series of temporary dams to float the stones all the way to the top.
Model T Pig Racing
The Pig ‘n Ford is a nearly century-old race at Oregon’s Tillamook County Fair, where racers have to grab a pig from a pen, crank-start a Model T Ford and hold on to the pig while they complete three laps of a track. Lots of teams are three generations deep by now.
A Taiwanese Lawmaker Tried to Skedaddle With a Bill to Prevent It From Being Passed
As members of the Taiwan Parliament were arguing over a controversial reform bill, one member grabbed the printed bill and tried to run off with it. That was merely the centerpiece of a crazy scuffle, with lawmakers physically fighting, pinning each other to the ground and one guy being hospitalized after falling off of a platform.
Scientists Are Practicing for Aliens With Whales
The past decade has been a big one for the advancement of understanding what whales are always squeaking and roaring about. There are at least two organizations at the forefront of whale communication research that are linked to SETI, the Search For Extraterrestrial Life, and they’re hoping that these advancements will come in handy when aliens come a-squeaking.
Chuck E. Cheese Is Firing Its Band
The company announced that it’s sending all the weird freaks in its animatronic band to live on a farm upstate. By the end of the year, only two of its 600 locations will feature terrifying robots like Rolfe DeWolfe, Uncle Klunk and Frog.
America’s First Black Astronaut Finally Made It to Space
Ed Dwight became NASA’s first Black astronaut candidate in the 1960s, but he was passed over for any actual trips to space. We may never know why. At 90 years old, he finally exited Earth’s atmosphere on a Blue Origin flight, breaking William Shatner’s record for oldest dude in space.
New York City Pizza Is So Special, It Needs Its Own Trash Can
To deal with mounting waste from da greatest pizza in da world, OH!, Central Park is installing pizza box-shaped recycling bins. They’re the perfect shape for an emergency urinal, which surely won’t derail this environmental initiative.
Walt Disney Is Rolling in His Cryochamber
Disneyland cast members, specifically characters and parade performers whose jobs are unrelenting and desperately underpaid, just voted to unionize in California. Walt Disney hated unions so much that he testified to Congress that his union employees were Commie scum. Also, he was cremated, not frozen, so we’ll never have to see that shitty little mustache again.
Pizza Hut Is Committing Quesadilla Erasure
Pizza Hut’s bold new innovation is the “Cheeseburger Melt”: basically a big slice of pizza that comes pre-folded, and serves the same function the quesadilla has since 1521.
Kyle, Texas Humiliated the United States and All of North America
Kyle, Texas attempted to break the world record for most Kyles congealed in one place. They gathered 706 of them, less than one-third of the record Bosnia set in 2017: 2,325 Kyles.
Coca-Cola’s New Bottle Design Is Like Stepping on a Rake
Coke released a new bottle cap that stays shackled to the bottle, currently available in Europe only. Immediately, they’ve been inundated with complaints that the cap is just poking everyone in the face with every sip. Coca-Cola, a company that releases 5.5 million metric tons of greenhouse gasses per year, says the point of their facial torture bottle is “to recycle together.”
