39 of the Funniest Tweets from Wednesday, May 15, 2024

Sleep is important, things of that nature
39 of the Funniest Tweets from Wednesday, May 15, 2024

What’s black and white and red all over? 

The Spider-Man: Noir series that featured the beloved web-slinger in an alternate Marvel universe set in New York during the Great Depression

Now, Spider-Man: Noir will swing into the world of live-action, thanks to MGM+ and Amazon Prime Video. Nicolas Cage, who voiced the character in the Oscar-winning animated film Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse and subsequent sequels, will star. It will tell the story “of an aging and down-on-his-luck private investigator in 1930s New York, who is forced to grapple with his past life as the city’s one and only superhero.” The series will mark a first for the prolific Oscar-winning actor — that is, the first time he’s taken on a regular TV role.

Speaking of being red: Tom Brady is experiencing a roastee’s regret. Despite the wild success of The Greatest Roast of All Time, the Super Bowl champ opened up on The Pivot Podcast about some of the jokes affecting his children. “I liked when the jokes were about me,” he explained. “I thought they were so fun. I didn’t like the way they affected my kids. It’s the hardest part about… like the bittersweet aspect of when you do something that you think is one way and then all of a sudden you realize, ‘I wouldn’t do that again’ because of the way that it affected the people that I care about the most in the world.” 

Unfortunately for Brady, all is fair in love and roasting

Meanwhile, the timeline has been filled with hilarious tweets for our reading pleasure. Today’s funniest include those about the confounding nature of Broadway’s leading men, a literature major’s destiny and a connection in the making.

Johnny Boy @JohnTh... 1d ... I really used to think this was the pinnacle of technology سسة Nostalgia @NostalgiaFoL... 1d Poo-Chi robot dogs (2000-2002) 84 6,371 46.3K 1.8M
you gonna wield whatever i pul... 1d ... along with fouls in basketball there should be fairs where nice and kind actions towards your opposition grant you free throws, or you can save them up across games then trade them in to have dinner with a ref 2 155 1,713 27.8K
coolgirlonline @coolgirlOnline 20h ... instead of a devil and an Angel appearing on my shoulder its just this guy telling me to buy candy and soda 23 7,886 44.8K 889K
playoff paint @nba_paint 18h ... hear 3 Chet dressed exactly like a dude named Chet. YUFFS Google NBA PLAYO Pixel Presented by Google Pixel D e Pixel NBO Google P App YOFFS PLAYO Pixel IN Google Pixel 152 2,546 46K del 2.7M
nick, @LouBegaVEVO.18h ... 100% sure my coworker has invented a dog so he can take multiple long breaks daily under the guise of dog walks. never mentioned the dog until 2 weeks ago, now he's brbing 3 walks a day. boss asked to see a pic of the dog and he said sorry it's sleeping. I encourage this. 39 968 26K ils 640K
Tyson @mrtysonw.20h oh you're reading a book about killing your ego? Thanks for letting me know via your instagram story 23 2,119 27.2K 603K
boo joey @joeyonline_. 1d Lucille Bluth: I LOVE MY GAY SON! (I HATE MY STRAIGHT SONS 8 715 17.4K 427K
chekov @notbigracks.1 15h ... went here and everyone said you were an alumni SCHOOL DISTRICT CENTRAL BUCKS GAYMAN ELEMENTARY SCHOOL A GREAT PLACE TO GROW 6 53 1,300 62.6K
Mike Drucker @MikeDrucker 4h ... logo for a $90 HDMI cord Michael French @Michael_... 5h what on EARTH is this logo TOMB RAIDER games CRYSTAL DYNAMICS 37 2,829 43.9K 990K
julia (taylor's version) @hone... 22h ... asked my friends to help me pick a color for an accent wall in my new apartment and it's now tearing our friend group apart Versierd Wereldwonder Kosmisch Blush 303 413 13.5K 344K
Katie D @KatieDeal99-1 16h ... Someone asked my daughter if she had a hobby and her answer was just sitting 82 1,238 16.4K del 414K
(doctor) Alex Grease @dodgo... 21h ... back in the 70s you could get involved in the music scene and within a month or so you'd be watching the sunrise in joni mitchell's backyard. these days you have to settle for pretending to be internet friends with a few guys who at any point could have some allegations emerge 7 222 3,796 del 80.8K
jackie @chimp_simp 23h ... How your email finds me 92 972 25K 3
babar @babaresq 21h me when i take tylenol INDI ELEVEN Fever GOOD LUCK FEVER Wilson Lilly INDIANA Ford 22 dorm kab salesforce orts ch HQ 2NOV ELE AS 11 816 19K 654K
milo edwards @Milo_Edwards . 19h amazing that the shut-down was caused by the new york side, the irish were really controlling the game in the first half but a shock last minute equaliser for the big apple there juju $ @ayeejuju . 2 22h the portal in new york and dublin has been shut down because some girl FLASHED the people on the other side CC 4K 96K 172 5.3M
Yes. multitude container @bartleby_era 21h ive been muttering diet pepi pepi diet mountain dew to myself all morning nee Drinks SODA Diet Pepi Pepi Diet Mountain Dew TEA Pure Leaf Tea & Lemonade WATER Aquafina 49 2.6K 38K 1.3M
Ric. t @ihvamps 1d i kinda like people who trauma dump idk. idc if i just met u 30 mins ago, tell me why your mom lost custody of u. i'm curious. 23 5.7K 34K 689K
falconia @FVLCXNIV.21h once the weather is nice that grill starts to talk to u like the green goblin mask с ripford @cripfordperhaps. dd x.com/cripfordperhap... 16h soapmanwun di Young Thug Millions E fuc it! 6 am asada 11 1.3K 16K 405K
Nick Miller @NickMillerMusic. 1d No more spying. It's time he minded his own business SPEHARDS SpyHards-A Spy Movie Podcast @SpyH... .2 2d You have woken up with full creative control of the #JamesBond franchise... What is your first action? GIF 2 32 611 23K
mae @_phixel 1d my shit crashing so hard the crash reporter crashed LABS (Master 2 - TRACK VOL PITCH RANGE PAN x FL Studio launcher (Not Responding) Windows Problem Reporting Windows Problem Reporting is not responding If you close the program, you might lose information. Close the program Wait for the program to respond 1.5M 100K 7.2K 114
strangleman99 @lukesesh2. 1d ... when your butler makes such an embarrassing faux pas at the soiree that all you can say is what the devil were you thinking old chum 35 2.3K 28K 948K
abhigya @misslawnabanana 1d im a lit major and my classmates are so competitive like chill out a bit we're all gonna be unemployed after we get this degree 56 2.6K 39K 760K
J @_YvngJinsengg 23h ... Snatching it down and asking why sober me thought she was smarter than high me tikli @tikli 2d I need to put this in my fridge 2 Electr Dual Control FOR Refrigerator 5 4 + - You'Re NOT Hungry you're stoned!!! SHUT THE DOOR CARROT NUT CAROTTES ET NOIX 3.3K 46K 51 1.5M
Visible Cow @barnaclebucket - 1 1d ... A couple beers!!!!!! Am I right fellas????? Mirha Afridi @MirhaAfridi - 5/4/24 Women have periods, pregnancy, and menopause. What do MEN have??? 35 1.4K 24K 1.7M
@ftrafilm 22h bailey new phone is set up with all the essentials 13:01 X Letterboxd x 111 3.9K 45K 773K
natalie @american_sicko - 10h ... Some of you Basketball Courts Ave Loop I love basketball court. 6 119 2.4K 60K
Sam Parker @samprkr . 23h DE Don't show this to NYT Connections @holobody.1 1d Shout out to the top 5 systems in the world. Buddy, weather, honor, solar, and nervous 19 2.9K 68K 3M
Chappell Moan(ing) @all_coopedup 20h ... Straight men on broadway confuse me what do you mean you have a leading role in Wicked AND a wife? 20 336 9K 196K
June 25th Lamar @lamarlavishh. dd ... which question are you asking? Weed Twitter banner @therealbannner - 1d Y'all be fuckin high? 166 5.5K 36K 1.7M
Emily Murnane @emily_murnane. 1d ... It is so wild how Facebook started as a way for Harvard incels to play smash or pass and now it's just grandmas getting scammed by robots. What a journey. 23 3,807 48.2K 949K
der wokismus @caoimheism 20h ... sloshed guy at the bar last night was yapping at my friends and i about how hes a hustler and makes so much money and so finally i decided to indulge him and ask ok, whats your hustle and he instantly, no hint of irony, says i steal legos, girl 11 211 2,826 52.1K
MATT MCGHEE @mattmcGhee 18h ... ? what does that even mean НА НА you pushin it Delivered LMAOOOO 57 6,439 60.9K 1.8M
Bean @xoBeanxo_. 1 16h if you can't find your situation on reddit UTL YOU ANTV you are indeed doing too much. 65 5,335 28.9K del 668K
Mike Townsend @townsendyes... 1d ... Nice tabs you got open on your browser that you're screen sharing brother, hope you dont mind if I scrutinise them all and make sweeping judgements about your personality based on what I am seeing 8 252 5,062 del 153K
Bob Golen @BobGolen. 1d ... Bob's my nickname. Robert is my nicholasname. 169 7,516 71K 2.3M
sigh SWOO n @sighswoon·10h ... I think one of the best skills you can have is being funny while complaining 68 3,754 31K 723K
ock sportello @ocksportello 13h every night in the western conference playoffs there's a spiritual battle between aura and the european slob menace. every night in the east they recreate the scene in 2001 when the monkeys learn violence 231 2,918 del 112K
Soham @king26_sk•9h your 20s are all about repeatedly rediscovering basic facts like I feel better when I wash my face or eating breakfast is actually a great idea 53 11.2K 74.1K del 1M
sk @kirkxxs 1d ... the concepts of cousins is so funny... who the fuck are you 6 9,135 109K 4.2M


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