26 of the Funniest Tweets from Friday, April 26, 2024

Nuggets are great regardless of context
26 of the Funniest Tweets from Friday, April 26, 2024

Although Jennifer Aniston hasn’t worked a traditional 9-to-5 job since well before her time on Friends, that won’t stop her from returning to the office. The actress and producer is developing a 9 to 5 remake with Oscar-winning Juno writer Diablo Cody set to write the script. The 1980 cult classic starring Lily Tomlin, Jane Fonda and Dolly Parton was previously adapted into a five-seasons-long TV series in the ‘80s and a Broadway musical in 2009.

In other remake news, Lily Gladstone’s first big project after Killers of the Flower Moon is already getting Emmy buzz. The actress, alongside Saturday Night Live’s Bowen Yang, will star in a remake of Ang Lee’s The Wedding Banquet. The reimagining of Lee’s Oscar-nominated rom-com will reunite Yang with Fire Island director Andrew Ahn and be based on a screenplay by Ahn and James Schamus, the latter of whom co-wrote the original film. Lee expressed excitement for the new take on his classic, saying, “It warms my heart to see how my film from so many years ago has inspired a new generation.” 

It may be the end of the week, but the timeline is still hard at work generating hysterical tweets instead of doing whatever their actual 9 to 5 requires of them. Today’s funniest include those about luggage with a life of its own, a shark complicit in history’s horrors and the most succinct description of pain ever.

ness @spiderburial 18h non americans don't realize how small the united states really is EXIT 37 в EXIT 37 A TOLL NORTH TOLL 43 SOUTH 43 Pittsburgh California 1/2 MILE 127 2,309 65.6K 2.3M
... @xDaij- 1d Tomatoes aren't hard enough 218 18K 76.4K del 7.1M
max @walmartspidey 1d why does this pooh plush look like eugene levy 5 162 4,106 100K
rare insults @insultsrare.9h ... hehe Not original. Fake. Poor product quality Poor service by seller Delivery time below expectation M&s contagrip 22-09-2018 22:33 Variation: 41/Leaving a mess... Seller Response: hehe 104 1,260 21.2K 536K
Brendan Taz Cannon @jazzwit... .9h ... Me at McDonald's, age 4 Kevin O'Connor @Kevin... 9h The Nuggets are just on another level. 16 1,040 13.6K 505K
n @ninten1969. 1d .. .@elonmusk I joined the app before you bum 874 7,783 120K 9.1M
is you coo? @geauxny 1d ... My neighbor did 20 in the pen he outside wiping off his low rider playing you're a jerk I ain't even mad 67 1,494 25.1K du 651K
danielle @wormbarf-16h ... when you're third wheeling and they start to argue 189 7,252 64.6K 1.6M
Charlie James @nonbinaryco... 20h ... *snorts line in a pitch meeting* it's a movie about a bunch of girls who all share the same pair of pants. one of them is curvy but that is not a problem for the pants 24 1,592 32.9K del 1M
i like food @messedupfoods.22h ... s leat fresh. BWAY eat'resh SUBWAY eat fre Lay's SUBWAY SUB BAKE eat es Then - 65% LES original Coca-Cola / eat fre ...و 20 905 16.3K 265K
the ben keeps the flores @limit... 1d ... Pastor opening his sermon after finding out his wife cheated on him: Los Angeles Times Los Angeles Times @lati... 1d Is it ever OK to gather fruit from someone else's tree? latimes.com/ lifestyle/stor... ALT 10 1,103 19.9K 692K
depths of wikipedia! @depths... 18h ... never forget WIKIPEDIA Pepsi fruit juice flood From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia The Pepsi fruit juice flood was a flood of 176,000 barrels (28 million litres; 28,000 cubic meters; 7.4 million US gallons) of fruit and vegetable juices into the streets of Lebedyan, Russia, and the Don River, caused by the collapse of a PepsiCo warehouse. 11] Date April 25, 2017 Location Lebedyan, Russia and the Don River Coordinates 53.01203°N 39.15004°E Cause Pepsi warehouse collapse 17 142 1,668 66.5K
Brooks Otterlake @i_zzzzzz- 9h Someone told me recently that he worked with Lebron James on a commercial shoot and he saw him eat six or seven large packs of sour gummy worms over the course of a day 19 59 1,650 del 112K
Doc Johnny Fever @NikiMarinis . 20h ... Nobody discretely coughs blood into a handkerchief while wearing a top hat anymore. 134 2.8K 44K 1.2M
meghan @deloisivete 18h Trader Joe's cashier: so any plans for your birthday me: *gestures at cart full of wine and cheese* 8 136 2.2K 48K
Lil Bit @LizerReal 19h ... My 7yo said she hurt herself, and when my 9yo asked her to describe the pain, she just yelled, АААААААННННН 14 401 7.4K 112K
The Blue Check is in the mail @EN_Griffin - 1d So he just watched slavery happen and didn't do anything? FOH. @AMAZINGNAT... 2d Nature is Amazing A 392 year old Greenland Shark in the Arctic Ocean, wandering the ocean since 1627. 328 4.9K 53K 1.7M
85% Cacao @Angrymann 18h I remember ppl was doing this shit in Ruby Tuesdays LizyTheeCvntyCowgirl @BeysButterfly - 1d You can't name an more iconic photo. 85 2.8K 15K 838K
pris @pwiscila 19h ... You put one of these through the loop and it swings:) noelle @noelleallowed.3d wtf is this thing on jeans for 1.8K 27 41K 1.2M
m @daysofbeingwiId - 1d NOSY AF AJDHKRJFKD MEEEE 5:06 p.m. A fan, disguised as a reporter, attemps to ask a question. 2 1.3K 9.7K 219K
Prostate McRae @gernst196.20h ... Me designing sidewalks in Rollercoaster Tycoon an angry opossum @AnAngryOpossum . dd if mc escher was a landlord 29 858 12K 546K
Putruck #ZeldaMovieSweep @SmallPutrk 1d And yet he played Lighting McQueen, a known groomer, and portrayed him as a wise-cracking and courageous celebrity. Hollywood's hypocrisy, ladies and gentlemen Culture Crave @CultureCrave. 1d A movie that depicts O.J. Simpson as innocent of murder is in development Owen Wilson was offered $12M to star as attorney Douglas McCann but said 'if you think I'm going to take the lead role in a movie about how O.J. didn't do it, you've got to be kidding me' (via @THR) 269 3.7K 81K 8.7M
L / FREE märcûs @marcusjdl 1d My local fish and chip shop is having a makeover and they've put these tiles on the wall so it's over £14 cod and chips incoming 6 116 8.1K 137K
Henpecked Hal @HenpeckedHal . 19h I set out a suitcase to pack for my flight later today and spotted my 3 year old crawling inside it to hide. I casually zipped it up, yelled I'M OFF TO THE AIRPORT, EVERYBODY!, and carried it to the car. I've circled the block twice and my luggage hasn't stopped laughing. @HenpeckedHal 86 55K 2.5K 989K
dij @DijahSB . 1 18h I would have screamed like otis redding n @noorrbit 1d NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO 77 3.1K 27K 1.1M
Jerms @LordJerms. 1d i'm hungover my coworker asking what cologne i got on, PATRON RANDY ITS PATRON 22 940 5.6K 258K


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