19 of the Funniest Things Religious Parents Claimed Were Sinful

‘The names of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles’
19 of the Funniest Things Religious Parents Claimed Were Sinful

It’s hard to argue with religious fanatics, mostly because they’re severely lacking in any logical explanations for their beliefs. One parent told their child that Bon Jovi were Satanists instead of comprehending that they’re just dudes from New Jersey, which as we all know, isn’t the same thing. 

Redditors have shared the funniest things they’ve seen religious parents claim to be sinful, and the parent who did a surgery on Pikachu is a reigning champion of the Satanic Panic Olympics.

 2y Fish Battle RPG we made up We had a game where you draw a battle fish with laser antenna or torpedoes/ chaff etc and come up with stats for it. Then roll to see if you hit. If you survive as a gladiator, you earn your freedom. We were told that Fish Battle is actually the devil, in fact 'because dice'. ... 197
oamnoj . . 2y Playing video games that were rated T or up. And watching movies rated PG-13 or above. Even the other Mormon parents nearby thought that was weird. 26
itsmyfriday. 2y I wasn't allowed to watch He-Man because he says 'I have the power' and only God has the power Also cabbage patch dolls were created by an evil pedo because they had his signature on their butt.m Edit:typo ... 397
gluon318 . 2y Listening to secular music. I found an alarm clock that played radio stations and my brother and I would trade off nights sleeping with it under our pillows, so we could listen to the latest grunge music. Also, Halloween was a sin and we had to sit in the house with the lights off. Having more than one pair of ear piercings was a sin (and even getting that first set took years of convincing) They associated puppets with the occult, so we weren't allowed to watch Sesame Street or even most Disney movies (they contained magic,
MLup1n . 2y When I was reading The Hunger Games in middle school, I described a scene where the main characters were attacked by dogs that looked like their fallen competitors (idk if that was it, it was pretty wild and it's been at least 10 years since I've read it). My mom frowned and said That goes against everything we believe in. To this day I have no idea what she meant. ... 425
 . 2y If you thought about sinning, you may as well have done it. so I would for example, get punished and have to beg forgiveness just because I looked at the cookie jar after I had been told I couldn't have one. They could decide at random what they were convinced was going on in my head. ... 286
nokiatoth3moon 0 2y The 2 that stand out the most are: coming home to find my pikachu stuffed animal's ears cut off to 1/3 length and sewed at the new ends since the old ears were too long and were basically the devil's horns Being forced to throw out my extensive deck of yugi-oh cards. I had the best deck in my class and played at recess all the time. I'm agnostic now... ... 831
Pentacostal-Haircut . 2y Dancing is the vertical expression of a horizontal act. ... 851
statscowski . 2y I didn't grow up with religious parents, but living in the south, all my friends parents were. I remember being around 10 years old and was eating breakfast after spending the night at a friend's place. We started talking about Harry Potter and his mom fucking loses it saying that magic is Satan's work and to not talk about that evil stuff in her house. Even at 10 I was like, man that's weird. ... 723
PowerofThunder . . 2y Watching people kiss on the TV. My mom would often claim that crows would eat my eyes in hell. ... 182
StarrCreationsLLC . 2y I got a Rambo play set when I was like 8 years old. It contained a realistic looking Bowie knife and a green Buddha pendant to put around your neck. My grandfather said the Buddha was filled with evil spirits and he made me throw it in a fire. The realistic looking murder knife, however, was totally fine. ... 35
BluebomberV . 2y Watching MTV. ... 21
vociferousgirl . 2y Oooh! Having a period, getting communion whilst on your period, touch the stairs of the alter if you don't have a penis. ... 52
FableTheCloudDragon . 2y The names of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles ... 146
 . 2y When I was little my mom told me Bon Jovi were Satanist. I'm like, pretty sure they're just teenagers from New Jersey... ... 31
SmokedProvolone . 2y I got my Pokémon games and cards taken away after my parents found out that Pokémon evolve. They didn't want me to grow up believing in evolution ... 385
evanjw90 . 2y Chewing gum, because it was sexual. ... 313
Skiddds . . 2y As it turns out, sins = things old white people don't like. Led Zeppelin, blue-jeans, carbonated beverages, action sports, flirting with opposite sex, staying outside later than 9pm, dancing ... 24
LizardPossum 2y Worrying. Mom swore worrying meant you didn't trust God. Great thing to say to a kid with an anxiety disorder. ... 330


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