35 of the Funniest Tweets from Friday, March 29, 2024

What did she think happened?
35 of the Funniest Tweets from Friday, March 29, 2024

After casting a handful of rising stars, Jason Reitman’s SNL flick is adding an Oscar-nominated living legend to its ensemble cast. Deadline broke the news that Poor Things actor Willem Dafoe is set to join the Sony Pictures film as David Tebet, the Vice President of Talent Relations at NBC during Saturday Night Live’s big debut. Dafoe’s nearly five-decade career will bring a certain sense of gravitas to the set of young actors who hope to build a career with the same longevity. 

After a brief jaunt in Connecticut that ended with a high body count, Courteney Cox is in talks to return to Woodsboro for the newest Scream sequel. She would reprise her role as no-holds-barred reporter Gale Weathers, alongside Neve Campbell, who agreed to return as ultimate final girl Sidney Prescott after a salary dispute resulted in her sitting out of Scream VI. Franchise creator Kevin Williamson will be at the helm after director Christopher Landon stepped down amidst controversy. Spyglass is said to have revamped the script after Jenna Ortega’s departure and Melissa Berrera’s firing, so word is still out as to whether or not newer additions to the franchise like Jasmin Savoy Brown and Mason Gooding will be returning. 

Meanwhile, the posters on the timeline are taking another stab at being funny, and we’re grateful for the hilarious results. Today’s funniest tweets include those about the ideal Showgirls screening, a thrift-store haul and a continental party trick.

Rachel @underthenettle- 8h ... it's Good Friday, which means it's time to share my favourite tumblr post of all time kim-jong-chill i need feminism because when jesus does a magic trick it's a goddamn miracle but when a woman does a magic trick she gets burned at the stake mattheuphonium fabulous tockthewatchdog 11 i mean they did also kill jesus. that was a pretty significant thing that happened. like i understand where you're coming from here but they very much did kill jesus. 20 5,267 38.8K 927K
Vinny Thomas @vinn_ayy. 17h ... first time i seen a sizzling fajita platter WILDEST DREAMS H... 2/24/23 outside of 9/11, what's a major historical event you lived through that you'll never forget where you were when it happened? 13 36 722 64.3K
Neb @NebsGoodTakes 20h ... Godzilla receives a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame for his 50th birthday (2004) - HILLYWS CHAMBER 31 1,462 13.8K 241K
matt @mattxiv.18h camp L3 Zero stars. Would not recommend. - Satan from YouVersion HOLY BIBLE Bible App 65 2,411 53.2K 596K
Rory Coyne @roryc0yne 1d i bet this feels good af for the calendar 3 14:33 46% 2024 + M T W T F S S Apr 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 20 5,200 105K 1.5M
James @exhaustdata 23h ... How are you supposed to meet people without dating apps? It may sound crazy, but I met my wife the old fashioned way-by having the unstable magnetism of a cult leader. In fact, that's how I met everyone on the compound 2 388 3,776 del 95.1K
Richard Newby-Newish Acc... 20h ... The flat-Earth thing makes so much sense now. She's never seen a Universal Studios logo. The Hollywood Handle 23h Millie Bobby Brown reveals that she doesn't watch many movies: I don't watch movies. People come up to me and say, 'You should definitely watch this movie, it would change your life,' and I'm like, 'How long do I have to sit there for?' Because my brain and I don't even like... Show more
Champagne Champion 1d ... The wife tells me we're invited to a couples only pool party this weekend. Ma'am, what exactly is a couples only pool party? And who invited you? GIF ALT 183 2,006 40.3K 1.3M
masha @MashaParty 1d if i was in a video game i would have a stealing from sephora bar instead of a health bar, and when it ran low i would start trembling & saying shit like we should really stop by sephora before we continue this mission 2 102 1.4K 32K
cay @koralinadean 17h put me in a room with 5 of my mutuals and a cup of charged lemonade from panera and we could probably come up with a solid euphoria s3 plot in under an hour idk like GIF 15 427 7.7K del 204K
@Hennidickarnold .22h ... CRYING Post Patrick Mahomes II Follow 6 MAHOMES @PatrickMahomes 15 Yeah p diddy!! 5:24 PM 2/16/14 From Earth 912 Reposts 829 Quotes 1.7K Likes 238 Bookmarks This post has been deleted. 74 3K 39K 1.3M
Serge Gainsbourg @BKWelles 4h FAMILY GUY WIKI Joni Mitchell EDIT joni mitchell Joni Mitchell (born Roberta Joan Anderson; November 7, 1943) is a Canadian singer-songwriter and painter. 3 120 1.3K 33K
harrison @harrisondubay.17h my party trick 248 794 30K 808K
Books and Wine @booksandwine76.1d ... DON'T FUCKING TALK 19 Wait for it BOYES THE PET SH P Mile sa - - 55 437 5.4K 129K
lauren badillo milici @motelsiren • 19h the correct way to watch SHOWGIRLS was on VH1 in like 2005 when they poorly edited these microsoft paint bras onto every topless actress 99 1.2K 14K del 774K
adam @adamxpb 1d this might be the craziest thing ive ever seen on letterboxd RECENT ACTIVITY THE DES PART 2 MADAME DUNE WEB PARL AND 1/2 1 193 2.1K 46K 1.2M
guro 0 @gurobunnyy 18h go to the thrift that's where the heat is and Goods Chatirbate 1.7K 23K 51 419K
Roy Drones Jr @chiweethedog 11h Lala. @shutupshayIa 1d So y'all were smoking, drinking, and having sex in high school? How did y'all have access to drugs and alcohol? And where were y' all having sex at? 22 3.3K 40K 1.1M
CHICAGO GEESE HOWARD @Yamscasino 4h Not all music is vinyl worthy. There's no way you need a pressed Jason Derulo album. 52 1K 3K 127K
Smv @Smv_of_Heroes-2 2h ... Thought she was James Gunn for a solid 10 seconds @Discus... .3h DF DiscussingFilm Jamie Lee Curtis and Lindsay Lohan reunite as 'FREAKY FRIDAY 2' gets closer to being made. 28 605 13.6K 266K
alaska @onlinegirlie• 5h ... i forgot jesus died today FUCK i knew the vibes were off 4 718 4,840 du 110K
gant @gantisdant.3 3h got eaten up so bad i had to delete hinge R What did you think you were doing with that vest ? Like is this a look you're ok with Write a message Match with Rebecca Cancel 29 46 1,953 49.4K
i like food @messedupfoods 12h ... Doghot The world is not yet ready for the Doghot 31 322 4,010 125K
ava @wownicebuttdude. 19h ... The most sinister bathroom vibes I've ever encountered. Why is there room for a live audience XI ME CO 101 1,684 24.4K 717K
just a @F466OT 21h ... Accidentally used the word 'panopticon' during my job interview 30 768 20.4K 545K
JT @ThegirlTT 1d ... What's your name? So I can leave your name at the door for (no entry) King Kyle @kyleskiki - 1d Last time @ThegirlJT was in Detroit she tripped and fell in then big ass Rick Owen hooves so I hope my sister just keep it cute in a sneaker or something 249 704 13.2K 1M
STREAM VILLAINOUS 21h macy ... currently in the depths and trenches of my Instagram saved and I'm cackling at this 24 1,712 19.1K 328K
Sarah-Louise @slk_writes 5h TikTok is sometimes such a gift Isthatlovemore Who is Vera lynn? 3h Reply 19 Harry P Creator sort of their charli XCX during world war 2 3h Reply 510 6 297 3,842 90.1K
man Jamoren Adult Swim @ilosttheloudd - 1 19h ... my boy is new to linkedin and this what he is posting? had to tell him that this isn't insta 2022 I'm not playing Like Comment Share Send Another day another dollar make the tax man holla Like Comment Share Send 5 392 5,929 118K
robbie @_verydisco.22h what? DiscussingFilm @DiscussingFil... 5h 4F The first trailer for Jerry Seinfeld's Pop-Tart film 'UNFROSTED' has been released. Releasing May 3 on Netflix. NETFLIX -No. -Yeah. From Netflix 245 1K 5.8K del 844K Mickey Central Follow @Mickey_Central Replying to @DiscussingFilm Missed opportunity to name it The Pop-Tart 39 272 18.7K 389K
Grovy @grovymango.2 23h ... life is so worth living (just found a new song yesterday and i've already looped it over 50 times) 4 75 388 8,866
Ngcolosi yena yedwa @BathuN.... 7h ... When did you meet my dad? Because I can see that you're quite good friends - my brothers daughter to me 38 1,070 8,552 244K
Chris @citehchris 1d ... (me with my alien) this is a chilis - - I - margarita you drink it 58 10.1K 60.4K 2.3M
Pan-Pizza @RebelTaxi 13h Your just making shows up at this point TH ToonHive @ToonHive 14h 8 years ago today, 'Imaginary Mary' premiered on ABC. IMAGINARY MARY 65 596 14.5K 286K


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