John Early Is Figuring Out How to Be Sincere

As the star of the sharp new indie ‘Stress Positions,’ the irreverent comic works in a more serious vein. He tells Cracked why he’s getting comfortable with being earnest — even if he’s scared everyone will think he’s pretentious

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30 of the Funniest Tweets from the Week of March 25, 2024

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30 of the Funniest Tweets from the Week of March 25, 2024

It’s been quite the week. Potential sequels were announced for John Tucker Must Die and Happy Gilmore. First pitches were thrown all over the country officially getting baseball season under way. And McDonald’s announced a gut-busting collaboration with America’s favorite donut. 

But no one’s week was quite like Sam Levinson’s. The Euphoria creator, whose Emmy-winning series turned a whole lot of nobodies into a whole lot of somebodies, has struggled to turn all that star power into a third season. According to Variety, after some of its “in-demand cast” went on to make blockbusters like Dune and Anyone But You, Levinson has had issues figuring out where the series would go nearly two years following the Season Two finale. HBO allegedly rejected a number of pitches, including one that would have made Zendaya’s character a pregnancy surrogate. A time jump was even explored, which makes the most sense when you consider that by the time this season gets made, the main cast will probably be pushing 40. 

Thankfully, the timeline had a much better week than Levinson — very much evidenced by the tweets they churned out over the last seven days. This week’s funniest ones included those about a sign you’re about to have the best coffee of your life, a mother on a mission and a woman, her man and her man’s man.

sean @_sn_n 17h you couldn't say this in today's Republican party 0:52 Jeb Bush: 'Hell yeah I would kill baby ... CNN Hitler CNN 91K views 6 years ago 149 1,880 39K 852K

Kofi @TheDoctor246.20h Wait til you find out what's happening 3 days after yayra. @yyrhoda 1d Jesus is dying tomorrow Let that situationship die with him. They don't love you. 140 7,327 46.3K 1.9M

Christopher Ingraham @_... 20h ... you can't even bind cursed tomes in human flesh anymore, because of woke DOB NEWS - BBC News (UK) @BBCN... 1d Harvard University removes human skin binding from book bbc.in/ 4azYIJI 32 3,694 31.5K 1.1M

tkizzy + $ @babyrichporter. 1d just looked at my bestfriend & punched her king david @davidpaiid 1d i be spoiling my bestfriend SKIMS SK SAIMS + |Message i i'm the W r t e u i q y о p d a f h S j k I g 180 3K 24K 1.9M

full spectrum warrior @lunchfan . 1d I would run around in there phage @clubmoss_ 3/26/23 What would you do in this situation? adidas 254 11K 160K 4.1M

Reverend Doctor Bob Sacamano @RevDocBob... 11h ... Let this sick fucking bastard cook, he's on to something none of us have ever even considered before. Sometimes you have to be daring. h @easterngoblin18h Lasagna grilled cheese kinda night 22 409 8.1K 718K

Globethotter @BrianMcLight . 1d Wendy would have walked out on that stage, dipped that tea bag in her cup, set silently in that chair and without missing a beat said: mhmm. I told you! Then moved right along to the Baltimore bridge story. JoeL III @theopulent1. 1d We need u right now!!!!! Wendy 6.1K 134 48K 2M

Gayest Tone @gayest_tone 23h ... I have some really bad news about what being a nun entails mediterranean girl roanne it @orthogirlroa... 1d born to be a nun, forced to go to 9am lectures 95 5.3K 127K 4.3M

nat @natonfilm 18h ... hear me out and it's one of the most beautiful men in film history max @lynchinist. 18h Tan hear me out 38 2.7K 40K 1.5M

Molly @divinemsmolly . 19h And then I said, Is that my camera? GIF 4 427 4.7K 88K

jess! @jessicobra 1d i wouldnt read any of these. where are the pictures. andthe little tabs you can pull on the sides to make the animals move cookiu yoosung @cookitwo . 2 2d my opinion on fic formatting..... a bit dialogue goated heavy but Ok we're crowded gettin not readin allat 18 2.7K 35K In 680K

ex atriz mirim kirsten dunst @lucassnova 1d For You LIVE Following I'm the thickest 76 year old Alive + 33 ... björk brasil @bjork_brasil - 1d BELÍSSIMA!! Björk é capa da nova edição da Vogue Scandinavia! 6 985 11K 308K

@dedscott.2d ... i woulda killed myself at the next stop espages why Tik Tok Videos The Go Hard 3d That's not chocolate or peanut butter #CTA #Chicago 9 - San Loop и Bia Prokin CONNECT PEOPLE 421 15.8K 159K 6.8M

@ItsJonesii_Bby.2d ... This that cut of steak the dog on Tom and Jerry was tweaking over GOOD TASTE Milky Good Taste @hungry_vid.2d CG 0:30 65 5,522 45.3K 2M

Jacob @JacobFisherDF· 1d ... No wonder he's doing Fantastic Four and like 12 other movies, buying that much Five Guys would bankrupt anyone DomTheBomb @DomTh... .1d When Pedro Pascal bought Five Guys for the whole cast and crew of The Last of Us HBO Book 85 5,899 95.4K . 2.4M

man Jamoeens Adult Swim @ilosttheloudd - 18h ... my boy is new to linkedin and this what he is posting? had to tell him that this isn't insta 2022 I'm not playing Like Comment Share Send Another day another dollar make the tax man holla Like Comment Share Send 5 343 5,175 101K

timothy faust @crulge 2d ... DEVO feel kinda bad for this guy. he made one joke once, it was pretty funny, and now he has a life where he has to make that same joke every single day You need to find someone to cover your shift 262 584 22.1K del 2.2M

budum @TimAllenItalian. 1d It's that easy The TSA guy said my toothpaste was too big And took it And I nodded solemnly and said the world's a safer place now And he laughed and gave it back 34 3,878 139K 1.4M

gem @gemothy 22h mind your fucking business ® Including you, how many people are you ordering for? Please select one option 1 Person 2 People 3 or more people 1 4 1 fo 19 353 14.3K 188K

omi! @omisides 2d jned @Englistani 2h ... my little brother said he was going to fast yesterday but broke it at 2pm bc he saw cheesecake 2 13 (feat.) drake @wouq_.2h ... Lmaoooo can't lie that's actually kinda cute bro, how old is he? 1 1 jned @Englistani - 1h ... haha bless him he's 23 bro 2 3 3 (feat.) drake ... @wouq_ Replying to @Englistani May Allah guide him bro 03:46 01/05/2021 Twitter for iPhone 1 Quote Tweet 1 Like 9 677 11.7K 175K

water cube scholar @rubysapp... 3d ... PANA PAN water cube scholar @ruby... 3d every day i think of him (cunty saw boom mic guy) 40 5,054 43.5K 1.3M

kyoshi's warrior II 23h ... I promise you want your doctor googling certain things it's the ones who don't keep up to date that will ruin your life Imaooo Ben Yahr @benyahr 1d When your doctor has to Google something in front of you 54 2,589 32.9K 813K

simone de bolivar @billieana... 23h ... incredibly based things were happening in 1977 LAdiES ANO TERRORiST SEWING SOCIETY CiRCLE © 1977 35 1,728 21.4K 420K

lexapro spritz @Mikey_Sul• 23h ... Still thinking about this. Today Were you the guy who just ordered with me at Chipotle? You used a cup for water for Diet Coke. 11:47AM Double Tap to Like 8 187 5,894 153K

Will Blackmon @WillBlackmon·3d ... Them flowers lol Carlos Estrada 3d Eliminate one item off this breakfast plate. 45 3,458 49.3K 1.8M

Twink Peaks @dadboddyke 1d ... i love when a movie has a girl and her boyfriend and her boyfriend's boyfriend who's also her best friend 47 1.9K 18K 640K

pris @pwiscila 1d ... The best tasting coffee in the world is served black and straight from the pot in a mug shaped like this 6 156 2.6K del 71K

kurtis conner @kurtisconner• 22h why would I play a cozy video game when I can play a video game that makes me so mad that I cry 155 3.6K 31K 810K

Isabel Steckel @IsabelSteckel 1d does anyone else's mom text them like they're in the CIA 2:12 M Mom> New York, NY Take care of the documents 28 1.1K 42K 613K

chris @ATR3IDES 1d they look like they're about to tell me if its going to rain in my city FILM UPDATES Film Updates @FilmUpdates 1d Mike Faist, Zendaya and Josh O'Connor for 'CHALLENGERS' press 26 5.2K 132K 3.2M

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John Early Is Figuring Out How to Be Sincere

As the star of the sharp new indie ‘Stress Positions,’ the irreverent comic works in a more serious vein. He tells Cracked why he’s getting comfortable with being earnest — even if he’s scared everyone will think he’s pretentious

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